howard the duck (1986)

aka Howard: A New Breed of Hero.
"No one laughs at a master of Quack Fu!"
Beverly Switzler (Lea Thompson) is a struggling singer, whose life changes when she finds a duck called Howard has been sucked through a warp in space, and landed on earth. If she thought a talking duck was strange, things are about to get stranger...
Unfortunately George Lucas decided to take a cult comic book character, loose most of what made it a cult, concentrating on the inter-species love story,a looses its focus as a comic fantasy.

lust at first bite (1978)

aka Dracula Sucks. The Coming of Dracula's Bride.
"I am Dracula and I bid you welcome."
Dracula (Jamie Gillis)
An adult version of the Bram Stoker character, is either a disjointed hardcore, or violent softcore story depending on which version you happen upon.

northern soul (2014)

"No prisoners tonight."
It's 1974 ad John (Elliot James Langridge) is a lonely kid, who finds a friend in Stee (Alex Esmail), who loves Northern Soul, and his enthusiasm draws John into the culture and music.
A story that sticks to the template of loner finds friends and learns from tragedy, but is driven along by the obvious enthusiasm for the music.

soulboy (2010)

aka Souled Out.
"Why would I stop you?"
Joe (Martin Compston) becomes fixated on Jane (Nichola Burley), who loves soul. So to impress her he starts to frequent and get into the scene. Thankfully Mandy (Felicity Jones) is there to help him get the basic moves down and what to listen to.
Boy meets girl, and takes time to realise that he's fixated on the wrong girl for him. A standard formula, but played well, with touches of comedy and pathos. This lacks the feel and detail for the scene that Elaine Constantine's film does, but has more of a feel good factor about it.

marquis de sade's justine (1969)

aka Deadly Sanctuary. Justine and Juliet. Justine de Sade.
"This is the story of Justine and the misfortunes of virtue."
The story of a young woman (Romina Power) forced out of the convent she was entrusted to, whose innocence is abused by all who meet her.
High production values, and a scattering of name actors, such as Jack Palance and Mercedes McCambridge, fail to cover up the fact that this is over-long at 2 hours.

succubus (1968)

aka Necronomicon - Geträumte Sünden.
"I have done well, she is perfect...the essence of evil."
Lorna (Janine Reynaud) is a nightclub stripper who is groomed by William (Jack Taylor) to become a part of his bizarre fantasies.
Surreal dream, that you enjoy for the striking imagery, or go nuts and turn it off due to the inconsistencies and constant soft focus!

sexy sisters (1977)

aka Die teuflischen Schwestern. Satanic Sisters. The Devilish Sisters.
"Milly is a very sick girl."
Countess Von Stein (Pamela Stanford) holds her younger sister Milly (Karine Gambier) prisoner. Milly suffers from a sexual trauma, due to being raped. But is the Countess looking after Milly's best interests or is that Molly is actually the sole inheritor of their father's fortune. Can Joe (Kurt Meinicke), save her from the machinations of the Countess and her Dr (Jack Taylor)?
Soft-core sexual extravaganza, that really never gets going plot wise.

mystery of the wax museum (1933)

"To perpetuate such madmen is to celebrate their crimes."
Ivan Igor (Lionel Atwill) is left for dead in his burning wax museum, by his unscrupulous partner. Years later a reporter (Glenda Farrell) trying to get to the bottom of a series of disappearances finds the sculptor is back and has a new and unique way of modelling. And alarmingly has set his sights on 'modelling' her roommate (Fay Wray).
A classic horror.

the raid 2 (2014)

aka The Raid 2: Berandal.
"I'm done."
Rama (Iko Uwais) fresh from raid, is persuaded to go undercover within prison to get close to co (), the son of a major gang leader. From there he is well placed to see Uco become frustrated with his position and escalate things beyond his control.
Evans spins Rama's story into new area's from The Raid, introducing more complex story-lines, and martial arts set pieces. Brutal, dark and spectacular.

the rite (2011)

"You did not choose me. It is I that chose you."
After four years at a seminary Michael Kovak (Colin O'Donoghue) desides to renounce his intention to become a priest. But his teacher is determined to bring him back into the flock and sends him to study an exorcism course in Rome. There his faith clashes with the practices of Father Lucas (Anthony Hopkins).
Brooding thriller that foregoes much of the theatrics and scares of other excorism films, prefering to exude a quiet unease, as it explores spirituality, faith and doubt.

nightmares come at night (1970)

aka Les cauchemars naissent la nuit.
"Don't be rediculous! It was only a bad dream."
Anna (Diana Lorys) lives with Cynthia (Colette Giacobine), who is worried about her friends mental state. She consults with Dr Lucas (Paul Muller), who tries to limit her nightmares, all watched over by a mysterious couple next door (Andrea Montchal & Soledad Miranda).
This looks like what it is, two unfinished movies mashed together, producing a psychodrama, with lots of babbe and skin, but not much sense!

ong bak: the beginning (2008)

"Look after yourself boy."
aka Ong-bak 2.
It's 1431, and a lord is betrayed, with only his young son surviving. He is taken in by king of thieves Chernung, who sets about teaching him martial arts, seeing him as the son he has never had, and his future successor. But Tien (Tony Jaa) has revenge on his mind...
As with the original Ong-bak, this runs at break neck speed towards a number of spectacular martial arts set pieces.

way of the vampire (2005)

"Look around you, we are surrounded by giants."
The most formibable vampire hunter, Dr. Abraham Van Helsing (Rhett Giles), is made immortal by the Catholic Church, to enable him to hunt down the last vampire prince (Andreas Beckett), the creature who killed his wife.
Cheap and undeserving of attention.

under the skin (2013)

"It's a wee bit nippy aye."
A mysterious alien (Scarlett Johansson), and her companion, journey across Scotland, searching for men with no family or friends, who she entices into her van. But as events unwind she undergoes a disintegration.
Dreamy and surreal cinematography either draws you into its beautiful set pieces blended with an interesting musical score. Or you run from the screen complaining about the lack of pace and plot detail. For me it was the former.

salvage (2009)

aka Confinement. Undead Slaughter.
"Muuuummmm."
Bad mother Beth (Neve McIntosh) has her estranged daughter over for Christmas, but things get off to a bad start, and only get worse when she witnesses a swat team kill a neighbor...
A slow start, and a script that tries to outwit and side step the viewer, merely serves to highlight the confusion inherent in a film that can't decide what it wants to be.

halloween: resurrection (2002)

aka Hall8ween.
"waiting for you on the other side of the door is either heaven or hell."
Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis) is again tormented by Michael Myers as a TV show decides it would be a good idea to send a group of teens into the childhood home of Myers for a reality webshow. Then Michael turns up and demands his cut of the action!
Busta Rhymes arrives to save the day, or put the final nail in the coffin that is the Halloween franchise!

a date with the falcon (1941)

"That's quite a flasher ain't it."
A scientist is kidnapped and the Falcon (George Sanders) tries to find him before he spills his formula for making synthetic diamonds.
Breezy detective yarn, with a bit too much bedroom farce thrown in, as the Falcon has to keep his girlfriend happy in the process.

the gay falcon (1941)

"Call me gay, it saves time."
The Falcon (George Sanders) chases some jewel thieves who have teamed up with some hard up socialites to defraud insurance companies.
The first of the Falcon series sees Sanders establish the suave amateur detective with the roving eye.

the box (2009)

"So who is Mr. Stewart?"
A family (Cameron Diaz, James Marsden, & Sam Oz Stone) are given a button, and a choice, by Arlington Stewart (Frank Langella). Press the button and someone they do not know will die, and in return they will receive one million dollars. They have 24 hours to decide... A good psychological thriller is squandered when the film descends into a confusing mess half way through.

the girl from rio (1969)

aka Rio 70. Die sieben Männer der Sumuru. Future Woman. The Seven Secrets of Sumuru.
"The safest thing to steal is stolen money."
A tribe of Amazonian women from Femina, led by their queen Sumuru (Shirley Eaton), attack wealthy men, as part of a long-term plan to take over the world.
A low budget In Like Flint, looks good, but lacks cohesion.

impact (1963)

"at least he's in good hands."
Journalist Jack Moir (Conrad Phillips) is framed by The Duke (George Pastell), the boss of an armed robbery gang, and on his release only has one thing on his mind.
Another film set mainly on the Butcher's nightclub set, featuring a by the numbers script, and acting to match.

the cat creature (1973)

"The symbol of baast!"
An Egyptian mummy comes back as a cat to exact revenge and find its amulet. On its trail is archeologist Prof. Edmond (David Hedison) and detective Marco (Stuart Whitman).
TV film, that piles on the guest stars, from Gale Sondergaard, to John Carradine, to produce a passable story that pays homage to previous cat creature features.

timerider: the adventure of lyle swann (1982)

"You just gotta get serious."
Moto-cross champion Lyle (Fred Ward) is racing in the desert, when a time machine experiment catches him and flings him back into the old west.
Lacking a charismatic hero is just the first of this scant film's failings...

abrahan lincoln: vampire hunter (2012)

"It falls to us Abraham, the hunters, to keep the balance, to ensure that this remains a nation of men and not monsters."
Lincoln (Benjamin Walker) sees his mother murdered by a vampire, and vows to hunt down her killer, Jack Barts (Marton Csokas). But first he needs to learn how to kill the undead. A task that Henry Sturges (Dominic Cooper) sets about teaching him.
A roller coaster of a script, (in that it has pacing issues), which entwines real events with fiction, and throws in some action pact sequences to keep you watching.

the eye (2008)

"Something is happening to me."
Sydney Wells (Jessica Alba) is a blind musician, who is given the chance to see with a eye transplant. But as soon as she can see, she starts to see ghosts, and whilst others do not believe her, she is driven deeper and deeper into madness. So where did the eyes come from, and can finding out bring an end to Sydney's visions.
A remake, and re-vision of the South Korean original, produces a viable, though lesser vision of the original.

the eye (2002)

aka Gin gwa.
"The shadows...they come to bring the dead."
Wong Kar Mun (Angelica Lee) is a blind young woman who is given a corneal implant enabling her to see. Unfortunately she stars seeing mysterious figures, that no one else can see. Dr Wah (Lawrence Chou) figures out that the visions may be due to the anonymous benefactor and resolve to find the woman's family and resolve what the visions mean.
Classic Hong Kong horror, that unveils with an unease that becomes pervasive.

the night of a thousand cats (1972)

aka La noche de los mil gatos. Blood Feast. Cats. Night of a 1000 Cats.
"some idiot with a helicopter!"
Millionaire playboy Hugo (Hugo Stiglitz) uses his charm to pick up young women. Taking them back to his secluded castle, where after having his wicked way with them, he lops of their heads to keep as as trophy, before using the rest as kitty chow to feed his large collection of cats.
Disjointed and messy.

the falcon in san francisco (1945)

"I like Annie, she's a nice kid, but why look for trouble!"
Tom Lawrence (Tom Conway), aka private detective The Falcon, is on holiday with his sidekick 'Goldie' Locke (Edward Brophy), when the nurse of a young girl (Sharyn Moffett) is murdered, and leads him into a convoluted plot revolving around a smuggling racket.
The eleventh outing for The Falcon sees him inhabit a fair to middling detective yarn. Not one of his best, but entertaining none the less.

47 ronin (2013)

"I would rather have been killed by that beast than be saved by a half-breed."
18th century Japan, and Kai (Keanu Reeves) is a 'half-breed', shunned due to his parentage, but afforded shelter by a feudal Lord. Then their world is shattered, when his master is compelled to commit seppuku and his samurai become ronin, and forced off their lands by the trickery of a scheming rival. The ronin are determined to avenge their Lord, and admit Kai into their circle to do so, when they realise the may need his help.
A reveared true tale of bravery and adherance to the bushido code of honour, is mucked about with by Hollywood, who then wonder why people took umbrage, and the film subsequently tanked with humongous losses! Looked at in isolation, this is still not a great film, with too much emphasis placed on the special effects, and not enough on the charisma of the main characters, who have none!

the shout (1978)

"Put your fingers to your ears when you want me to stop."
Musician Anthony Fielding (John Hurt) meets a mysterious traveler (Alan Bates), who invites himself into Anthony's home, and proceeds to seduce his wife Rachel (Susannah York) using some aboriginal magic.
A film that slowly unveils its haunting story, and remains in the imagination long after its end.

the hot potato (2011)

"You can never trust a man from Munchen."
It's the East End of London in 1969 and Danny (Jack Huston) comes across a sealed metal box, that looks expensive, so obviously he nicks it. He takes it to Kenny (Ray Winstone) to discover what it is. Kenny doesn't know what it is, so sends some for analysis, and is shocked to find out it's uranium. So what's a couple of Eastend wideboys to do? Obvious really; try and flog it, but how do you go about selling some hot radioactive material? Enter Harry (Colm Meaney). Based on a true story, this caper twists and turns nicely, but never really lights up.

stag night of the dead (2010)

"Lets put the dead back where they belong."
Dean (Sebastian Street) is getting married in the morning, and is off on a stag do that involves five mates, and a stripper (Sophie Lovell Anderson) playing 'Zomball' at a secret military base.
A by the numbers zomcom, which manages to include all the stereotypes and none of the humour/horror needed.

beach ball (1965)

"My board!"
The Wigglers are a bunch of surfer dudes, who have to dig up some bread to pay for their musically instruments before they get repossessed by Mr Wolf (James Wellman). Songwritter and leader of the gang, Dick (Edd Byrnes), comes up with the idea of conning the money out of the college, but the four girls running the loans system instead decide to make the boys their pet project and get them back to school.
A breezy, if slow witted, beach comedy, that forutunately has a nice sideline in bands such as The Righteous Brothers, The Walker Brothers, The Hondells and The Supreme's.

the uninvited (1988)

"No matter what happens we can't let that cat out of here."
A cat escapes from a lab, but not before killing a number of technicians and security. Meanwhile some girls are invited on a cruise by some businessmen and one takes a liking to the cat, and brings it along...
Despite the presence of a number of known actors, this plays out in a very low rent manner, especially when the 'creature', (resembling a ratty moth-eaten rug), appears.

the falcon in hollywood (1944)

"You bum!"
Whilst following a dame (Barbara Hale) on to a studio backlot, the Falcon (Tom Conway) just happens to be in the right place when a Hollywood actor is bumped off. So with the help of the sassy taxi driver Billie (Veda Ann Borg), he tries to unravel the mystery.
Quick witted and swiftly played out detective story.

edge city (1980)

"Take care Roy."
Roy (Alex Cox) is a commercial artist trying to make a living in L.A. and in the process meets the weird and wonderful inhabitants of his adopted city.
Film made as part of Alex's UCLA degree, which displays all the learning processes that students tend to go through.

scott of the antarctic (1948)

"the fascination of making the very first foot marks."
Capt. Scott (John Mills) has an overwhelming desire to explore the Antarctic and reach the South Pole. He undertakes the arduous task of funding, and equipping the expedition. Dramatic re-telling of the ill fated exploration of the Antarctic, with plenty of pondering on the women left behind.

one night with you (1948)

"The imposter provided me with a very charming adventure."
Opera singer Giulio (Nino Martini) is signed up to appear in a film, unfortunately whilst journeying there he is stranding penniless in a small Italian village. Also stranded is Mary (Patricia Roc), a British girl and her dog.
Two stories are mashed together, a manic satire on film production sandwiches a by-the-numbers romantic comedy, featuring Nino Martini as the unbelievable romantic lead. Watch only for the first five minutes and a silent walk on by Christopher Lee.

mars needs women (1967)

"We seek female volunteers."
The red planet is dying, as the Martians are producing only males. Thus a group is dispatched to Earth in an attempt to woo some females back. The leader of this bunch, Dop (Tommy Kirk) picks on Dr. Marjorie Bolen (Yvonne Craig) as their first victims, but will she and others undertake the journey?
Cheesy and packed with unintentionally funny lines, this is a classic bad meaning good flick.

savage weekend (1979)

aka The Upstate Murders. The Killer Behind The Mask.
"What the hell is that?"
A diverse mix of uptown New Yorker's head into the woods upstate for a vacation, and come to the attention of a 'none to bright' redneck with a grudge Otis (William Sanderson).
Pretentious slasher, that doesn't work because it tries too hard. Kicking off as an over dramatic soap opera rather than the slasher it pro-ports to be.

not tonight, darling! (1971)

aka Sex in the Suburbs.
"Goodbye darling, have a nice day."
Bored and frustrated housewife Karen (Luan Peters) is swept off her feet by salesman Alex (Vincent Ball), who then starts to blackmail her. Unfortunately her husband (Jason Twelvetrees) finds out, and is less than impressed.
Very slight film, that doesn't work on any level.

the decline of western civilisation (1981)

"it's like raw again and it's for real..."
Documentary taking a look at the Los Angeles punk music scene in 1980, featuring inciteful comments from its fans and concert footage of bands including Black Flag, Catholic Discipline, Circle Jerks, Fear, Germs, and X.
Effectively captures the audiences, as much as the bands, making up the LA hardcore scene of the time.

inspector hornleigh goes to it (1941)

aka Mail Train.
"This sort of thing shatters your faith in women."
Detective's Hornleigh (Gordon Harker) and Bingham (Alastair Sim) and sent into the army to stop petty pilfering, but come up against a gang of Nazi spies, and end up on a mail train unable to trust anyone.
Harker and Sim make a fine double act, in this comic spy caper.

pacific banana (1981)

"I thought I'd come and look at your joystick!"
Paul (Robin Stewart) and Martin (Graeme Blundell) are a pair of Australian pilots working for a small island hopping airline, chasing girls as they go.
Desperately unfunny sex comedy full of predatory females, gay stereotypes and custard pie fight!

martyrs (2008)

aka Mártires .
"She's still alive."
Lucie (Mylène Jampanoï) is kidnapped and abused as a child. Fifteen years later, she and her childhood friend Anna (Morjana Alaoui) want revenge, but get more than they bargained for.
Bloody revenge thriller mutates into a twisted horror.

[rec] 3 - genesis (2012)

"Uncle are you OK?"
A couple (Leticia Dolera & Diego Martín) and friends are celebrating their wedding, when one of the guests, who earlier complained that a dog had bit him, bites another guest...let the mayhem begin!
Paralleling the [Rec] story, drawing together some of the elements from the previous two installments, whilst adding some black humour along the way. An entertaining horror, but only if seen in isolation to the previous two installments.

[rec] 2 (2009)

aka REC 2: Fear Revisited.
"Through the sign of the cross, free us of our enemies, our lord."
Following on from Rec, the building has been quarantined, and a swat team are sent in to help a doctor ascertain what is going on. But when one of their number is attacked and the doctor subdues him with prayer, they know that there is more going on than they have been told.
Adding an element of demoniac possession to the story just takes away the impact of the first installment.

mark of the phoenix (1958)

"...the world's greatest jewel thief..."
A new alloy is stolen and made into a cigarette case, so it can be smuggled out of Belgium. Unfortunately an American jewel thief (Sheldon Lawrence) is mistakenly given the case, and finds himself sought out by the smugglers and the police, in the shape of Inspector Schell (Anton Diffring).
Ignore the plot holes, and this makes for an entertaining thriller. Otherwise its an infuriating and cheap filler.

two evil eyes (1990)

aka Due occhi diabolici.
"Perversity is one of the prime impulses of the heart."
Two horror tales based on short stories by Edgar Allan Poe. The first is The Facts in the Case of Mr. Valdemar, where a man is hypnotised, so his adulterous wife (Adrienne Barbeau) can get hold of his considerable wealth. Unfortunately for her, he dies whilst in the trance and stuck in limbo seeks revenge. The second story is that of the Black Cat. Police photographer (Harvey Keitel) resents his girlfriend's new cat, and the feeling is soon mutual, with each tormenting the other. That is until he kills the feline, but then finds that it isn't willing to leave just yet!
Two stories that pass the time in a convoluted manner.

the hangman waits (1947)

"Something tells me that I should have a look in that bag!"
A cinema usherette is strangled and the police are immediately on the killers trail, and so are the journalists of the Daily Clarion.
A primitive film, with much padding, which with a 65 minute running time is not good! Though it does feature an early outing for John Le Mesurier.