baberellas (2004)

"Pump up the node clusters."
An intergalactic hidden camera show targets a girl band called Top Heavy for somepranks, which mainly involve them taking their tops off.
Campy, unfunny comedy, that is totally about women getting naked. Something for those of you needing to see a woman hula hoop topless!

urban legend (1998)

aka Rule. Mixed Culture.
"Don't you guys get it? Come on, it's just like that urban legend."
Murders start happening at a college, and one student Natalie (Alicia Witt) suspects that they are connected to Urban Legends, and there is a killer on campus when people connected to her start dying.
Creepy and atmospheric, with a good script, though ultimately a knowing spin on the Scream post modernist horror.

killer fish (1979)

aka Deadly Treasure of the Piranha. Naked Sun.
"We have to stick together, because if we fight we all lose."
A gang of Jewel thieves, (including Lee Majors, James Franciscus & Karen Black) stash their heist at the bottom of a lake until the heat dies down. Unfortunately when they attempt to get away with the goods the waters have become infested with piranha. As they attempt to escape, mistrust and betrayals eat away at the team, and Majors tries and hook up with model Gabrielle (Margeaux Hemingway)!
Extremely average disaster movie/thriller, with some horror elements thrown in.

stripperland zombies (2012)

aka Stripperland.br/> "Going somewhere is better than going nowhere kid."
Badly undressed women are turning into zombies and seeking out male victims, in this comedy horror. Our narrator to this is geek boy ((Ben Sheppard) who has a book of rules to help him survive. Along the way he hooks up with 3 others and they head to the striper capital of the world Portland Oregon.
A spoof of zombieland, with passing references to other horror comedy classics along the way, such as the Evil Dead. Mindless fun with a beer in hand.

dark night of the scarecrow (1981)

"There’s other justice in this world…beside the law."
Bubba (Larry Drake), an adult with the mind of a child, is falsely accused of hurting a young girl, and before she can tell them the truth, a vigilante gang has caught and killed him. When found, he was hiding, disguised as a scarecrow, so it's no surprise when the offending gang start losing their lives in accidents whilst a mysterious scarecrow is seen nearby.
A CBS Saturday Night Movies presentation, which shows that made for TV horror can sometimes throw up a gem.

gwendoline (1984)

aka The Perils of Gwendoline in the Land of the Yik Yak.
"Feel like dying?"
Gwendoline (Tawny Kitaen) hooks up with Beth (Zabou Breitman), and adventurer Willard (Brent Huff), to try and find her father. He was last seen searching for a rare butterfly in the Land of the Yik Yak, so that's where they go...
Good looking 1930's style serial adventure, which is a dumber version of Indiana Jones, with added nudity.

gestapo's last orgy (1977)

aka Caligula Reincarnated as Hitler. Last Orgy of the Third Reich.
"I showed you death, now you can start to really live."
Years after the end of WWII Lisa Cohen (Daniela Poggi) meets with the German commandant at the camp he ran as a bordello, and where she was imprisoned. She then flashes back to her time there and how she learned to survive.
Exploitation flick wrapped up as a sadomasochistic love story between officer and prisoner, (see also The Night Porter). Lacks the campness of many of its ilk, which makes the tortures on display all the more disturbing.

flesh for the beast (2003)

"I should warn you folks, this house makes Amityville look like a spinning tea cup ride."
The current owner of the infamous Fischer House, which was built by a famous occultist, is anxious to cleanse it of the evil that stalks its corridors. So he brings in a team of parapsychologists. Obviously this only serves to set the local succubus to come out and play.
Bad acting only adds to the woes of this cliche ridden sexploitation horror.

a good old fashioned orgy (2011)

"A toast to friends..."
Since high school Eric (Jason Sudeikis) spends his summers at his father's summer house in the Hampton's throwing parties, and plans to do nothing else for the rest of his life. Then his father drops the bomb that he's selling the house, and Eric comes up with the ultimate last party, an orgy. The only problem now, to talk his friends round to the idea.
Coming of age comedy for 30-somethings, but don't expect the usual gross out comedy, that these films have evolved into, as this revolves around friendships and how they change over time.

sex and fury (1973)

aka Furyô anego den: Inoshika Ochô.
"Who is the third person that killed my father?"
Meiji era Japan and a young girl sees her father robbed and murdered, and vows to take revenge. Years later Ocho (Reiko Ike) has grown into an accomplished gambler, and through a chance encounter with an anarchist she finally finds the gangsters responsible, but they are now rich and powerful industrialists and politicians protected by the Yakuza, how is she to enact her vengeance? complicating things is Christina (Christina Lindberg) a foreign spy sent to destabalise the Japanese government.
A fine example of Asian sexploitation, marrying a fine revenge tale with lots of sex. Stylish and brutal.

chernobyl diaries (2012)

"Nature has reclaimed its rightful home."
Three American 20 somethings, Chris (Jesse McCartney), Natalie(Olivia Dudley) and Amanda (Devin Kelley) are touring europe, and stop off in Kiev to visit Chris' brother Paul (Jonathan Sadowski). Whilst there Paul suggests a tour of an abandoned town near Chernobyl, and head off with a local guide and a couple of other tourists. All goes well until they return to their van and find the engine destroyed, and they realise they are stranded, it's getting dark, and there is something out there.
Blair Witch style thriller, that works on a fear of the unknown and unseen level. This works up to a point, but you have to care what happens to the victims, and in this you don't.

don't be afraid of the dark (2010)

"Turn out the light, we want to be friends."
Eight year old, Sally (Bailee Madison), moves into an old mansion, to be with her estranged father (Guy Pearce) and his new girlfriend (Katie Holmes). Exploring the house she finds and accidentally releases some ancient and malevolent creatures, who prowl in the dark. As they become bolder and increasingly violent, Sally realises that she has to convince the adults that she is not acting up and monsters do exist.
Remake of an ABC TV horror scripted by Guillermo del Toro and Matthew Robbins. It explores themes del Toro has often played with, of ancient entities and children's access to them. A beautifully enacted and atmospheric fantasy horror, that provides some genuine shocks along the way.

cemetery junction (2010)

"Freddie, stop listening to music made by poofs. Stick on some Elton John."
Reading in 1973, and Freddie (Christian Cooke) is desperate to do something with is life, more than become factory fodder like his dad and his friends Mike and Snork (Matthew Goode & Jack Doolan). Unfortunately his way out is to become a door to door insurance salesman. That is until he falls for the bosses daughter (Felicity Jones) and she shows him that there is a whole world out there to explore...
Charming coming of age comedy drama, that offers nothing new, but is all the better for it.

the castle of fu manchu (1969)

aka Sax Rohmer's The Castle of Fu Manchu. Assignment Istanbul. Fu Manchu's Castle. The Torture Chamber of Fu Manchu.
"It sounds almost Biblical."
Nayland Smith (Richard Greene) has to again stop a fiendish plan of Fu Manchu (Christopher Lee) to take over the world. This time by freezing the worlds oceans.
The last of producer Harry Alan Towers' attempt's to create an update of the 30's serial's, turning a promising adventure, into a soporific endurance test.

the blood of fu manchu (1968)

aka Fu Manchu and the Kiss of Death. Kiss of Death. Kiss and Kill. Against All Odds.
"You have been chosen to take part in a great mission."
Fu Manchu (Christopher Lee) has discovered an ancient poison in the Amazon and uses it to infect ten women. They are then sent to kill ten world leaders in a fiendish plot to take over the world. Being the first to receive the 'kiss of death', Nayland Smith (Richard Greene), Scotland Yard's finest detective, is is up against the poison coursing through his veins and has to find and defeat Manchu's plans.
The fourth film in a series sees Franco deliver a thriller, which though far from perfect, (spending too much time on distracting sub-plots), delivers a good looking and entertaining adventure.