chatterbox (1977)

"Virginia, a sweet little thing, with a really big voice."
Penelope Pitman (Candice Rialson), is an anonymous hairdresser, until one day her vagina starts talking. At first ashamed and embarrassed, she turns to her doctor for help, who immediately puts her on the stage, as 'Virginia' dreams of a singing career.
A one joke script, that subsequently has no where to go but down!

the phantom from 10000 leagues (1955)

"Five people have died as a result of that thing!"
When radioactive bodies start washing up on the Californian coast, an army investigator (Rodney Bell) and scientist (Kent Taylor) start to look into what the cause might be.
Creature feature by numbers, done better almost everywhere else. With a monster that moves with the fluidity you would expect from a man swimming in a bulky costume, and about as terrifying as a child with a crayon!

hell (2011)

aka 2016: Das Ende der Nacht.
"I saw a bird flying, in the same direction as we are."
A couple and the woman's younger sister are trying to scratch an existence in a post-apocalyptic world, when they fall victim to a trap and the young girl is kidnapped along with all their supplies.
Dark and slow.

the lords of salem (2012)

"There is no unconsciousness in hell."
When Heidi (Sheri Moon Zombie), a radio DJ, is sent a mysterious record, little does she know, that it is linked to an ancient witches coven, and unleashes dark forces...
Starts out promisingly, and is visually stunning, but soon has pacing issues, which drags the film down, in this Rosemary's Baby meets Suspiria mash up.

ogre (2008)

"We must warn the others."
When four teens go hiking in the woods, one breaks his ankle. So leaving one girl with the hapless invalid, the other two go looking for help. Unfortunately for them, they come across the 200 year old village of Ellensford. The townsfolk don't welcome the strangers, as they turn out to to be immortal, but only as long as they sacrifice someone to an ogre that terrorises them once a year. And annoyingly the strangers have released the beast...
A cheesy horror, featuring Ginger Snaps' Katharine Isabelle, that doesn't come near a logical story arch, or entertainment.

belladonna of sadness (1973)

aka Kanashimi no Belladonna.
"You are at your wits end, even your husband has abandoned you."
Jeanne and Jean are presented to the local baron as newlyweds. The baron insists on his feudal right to payment. As the couple cannot afford it, he brutally rapes her instead. The couple try to put this behind them, but then the baron punishes Jean by chopping of a hand for not collecting enough taxes. Again the couple rise about it, only for the Baron's wife to denounce Jeanne as a witch. Driven from the village, she eventually does turn to witchcraft in vengeance.
Minimalistic, mainly still images, combine with occasional animation, to tell a disturbing story that touches on the sado-erotic, in a long winded way.

rust and bone (2012)

aka De rouille et d'os.
"What have you done with my legs?"
Ali (Matthias Schoenaerts) arrives in the Antibes to live with his sister and her husband, when he is left in charge of his son. He takes up a job in security, whilst also bare knuckle fighting for extra cash. Whilst working the door of a club he meets Stephanie (Marion Cotillard), and starts to bond with her after she suffers an accident that result in her having to have her legs amputated.
Intelligent, sensitive, but also raw and brutal. A drama that plays on the inability of Ali, to acknowledge his feelings and how this effects the people around him.

the last stand (2013)

"Put the hurt on them Ray."
Ray (Arnold Schwarzenegger) is a small town sheriff, in a border town with Mexico. A town were escaped drugs cartel boss Gabriel Cortez (Eduardo Noriega) is headed, and Ray is determined to stop him...
This lacks humour, or a decent script, and relies on a man with very little acting ability to carry it. An actor who looks like he should have been put out to pasture a long time ago.

a field in england (2013)

"Open up and let the devil in."
Whilst the English civil war rages, Whitehead (Reece Shearsmith), an alchemist and astrologer, is charged with finding O'Neil (Michael Smiley), but little does he know that O'Neil is lying in wait for him, and has plans for Whitehead's skills.
A tale of greed and madness, set during the English civil war, that defies categorisation. Beautiful cinematography keeps you watching what is a slight and puzzling story.

vehicle 19 (2013)

"I've got lost."
Michael Woods (Paul Walker) is a man under pressure. Pressure that gets worse when he picks up the wrong vehicle at the airport, lost and late, he then finds a mobile phone and a gun in the glove compartment...then a young woman (Naima McLean) tied up in the boot!
An immediately annoying hero doesn't help this thriller, Neither is the slight story, full of inconsistencies, that takes far to long to get to the action.