zatoichi at the fire festival (1970)

AKA Zatoichi Goes to the Fire Festival. Zatôichi abare-himatsuri. Zatoichi, the Fire Festival
"Gentlemen, looks as though its now that the real fun begins."
Zatoichi (Shintarô Katsu) stumbles into a village and runs fowl of the local gang boss, the Dark Lord Yamikubo (Masayuki Mori) and his protege.
Number twenty-one in the series sees an entry with plenty of action and comedy.

zatoichi the outlaw (1967)

AKA Zatôichi rôyaburi. Zatoichi Breaks Jail.
"Surely you are not a statue, so why don't you play with us?"
Zatoichi (Shintarô Katsu) arrives at another village where two gambling house bosses are plotting each others demise. When ichi realises he has been taken in by one of the bosses, and everyone blames him for their wretched situation, he decides its time to rectify the situation and rescue a revolutionary ronin in the process.
The blind swordsman continues his journey in this his sixteenth outing. Entertaining but unevenly paced actioner.

night train to munich (1940)

AKA Night Train.
"English I presume. A very peculiar race."
When the Germans kidnap inventor Dr Bomasch (James Harcourt) and his daughter Anna (Margaret Lockwood), British secret service agent Gus Bennet (Rex Harrison) tries to liberate them disguised as a senior German army officer.
Features Charters and Caldicott (Basil Radford and Naunton Wayne), those quintessential Englishmen abroad as light relief. This is otherwise a tense thriller.

take the money and run (1969)

"Does this look like "gub" or "gun"?"
Virgil Starkwell (Woody Allen) is a career criminal and this flashes through his life and his journey towards prison.
Back from when Allen was fun, and only had pretensions to produce comic films. A classic mockumentary that spoofs prison movies and crime dramas.

hedwig and the angry inch (2001)

"It's my first day as a woman, already it's that time of the month."
We meet Hedwig (John Cameron Mitchell), as she screams her music out to a disinterested restaurant audience in mid-west America. Slowly her story is unveiled. From her humble beginnings as a boy called Hansel living in East Berlin, to internationally ignored rock star. Whilst her protege is now an arena filling rock star Tommy Gnosis (Michael Pitt).
Multi-layered comedy drama musical about a male to female transsexuals journey through life...This sort of thing doesn't come along often. What we get is fun and poignant, often at the same time, all to a cracking rock soundtrack.

the knack...and how to get it (1965)

"First you must establish contact..."
Nancy (Rita Tushingham) steps off the train, ready to experience swinging London and soon makes the acquaintance of Colin (Michael Crawford) and his ace face pal Tolen (Ray Brooks). Tolen has 'the knack', seemingly able to sweep any woman he wants off her feet. Colin wants to learn, fed up of missing out on the sexual revolution going on all around him. But when Tolen tries it on with Nancy Colin gets jealous.
A wonderful look at swinging London, with a fine soundtrack by John Barry. A cartoon comedy, with pretensions to saying something real. In essence a distillation of the sixties.

clerks II (2006)

"I'm not even in my twenties any more."
Ten years on and and the dynamic duo Dante (Brian O'Halloran) and Randal (Jeff Anderson) are still at the Quick Stop convenience store. That is until it burns down and end up working for Mooby Burger. It's the last straw for Dante and he announces he's leaving Jersey. For such a momentous occasion Randal plans one last blow out which will cause Dante to rethink his future.
Essentially a less funny and more angst ridden version of the original. Sometimes its not good to grow up or return to the scene of the crime. Not bad, in fact it's entertaining; featuring fun, gross-out humour and poignant moments, but it just cannot live up to the original vision.

mallrats (1995)

"Adventure, excitement... a Jedi craves not these things."
Brodie (Jason Lee) is a comic book obsessed slacker, whose girlfriend is fed up with his lack of commitment and dumps him. At the same time his best friend TS (Jeremy London) is also dumped. Determined to get there girlfriends back they team up at the mall, encountering friends and enemies alike, and enlist Jay (Jason Mewes) and Silent Bob (Kevin Smith), to help.
Smiths follow up to Clerks, contains much the same humour, though more teen orientated. Not as good as the aforementioned film, but still has its moments.

clerks (1994)

"I'm not even supposed to be here today!"
A day in the life of two store clerks Dante (Brian O'Halloran) and Randal (Jeff Anderson). Dante is self-obsessed slacker under pressure to resume his life and go back to college, whilst Randal is happy with his life on hold. Outside Jay (Jason Mewes) and Silent Bob (Kevin Smith) are the local dealers causing trouble.
A fantastic black comedy, that touches on all sorts of slacker humour, from Star Wars to porn videos. Smiths first, cheapest and best film. A classic.

the fantastic four (2005)

"What worries me is that our powers are evolving."
Four astronauts return from a mission having survived traveling through a radiation storm; each now with incredible powers. Reed Richards (Ioan Gruffudd) can now stretch his body, Sue Storm (Jessica Alba), can turn invisible, her brother Johnny Storm (Chris Evans) is now the human torch and Ben Grimm (Michael Chiklis) turns to rock and becomes incredibly strong. Unfortunately for them and the world the rich philanthropist Victor von Doom (Julian McMahon) wants in on the action.
The comic turned Hollywood blockbuster. Passable effects and passable plot.

gonks go beat (1965)

"yes he shook something or other."
Romeo and Juliette tale where instead of the Montagues and Capulets, there is ballad isle and beatland. Neither can get on with the other, until a young couple fall in love and bring the warring communities together, with the help of Wilco Roger (Kenneth Connor) an intergalactic ambassador.
A basic premise, (and very basic budget), on which to hang various performances from such performers as Graham Bond and The Nashville Teens. Oh and a gonk was/is a weird stuffed toy popular at the time! Makes no sense, but then that's the fun of it.

morgana (1995)

AKA Blonde Heaven.
"I want immortality."
An ambitious would be actress moves to LA to get famous. Angie (Raelyn Saalman) is followed by her old boyfriend Kyle (Alton Butler), who wants to convice her to return to little town america. Unfortunately she falls in with Illyana (Julie Strain) and her coven of vampires.
Merely a lame excuse to show lots of slo-mo softcore sex and a couple of fangs.

my name is nobody (1973)

AKA Il mio nome è Nessuno. Lonesome Gun.
"The secret of a long life is to try not to shorten it."
Once the greatest gunslinger in the West, Jack Beauregard (Henry Fonda) now dreams of leaving it all behind and moving to retire. Annoyingly for him Nobody (Terence Hill), a young gunfighter idolizes and wants him to become a legend by going out in a blaze of glory. To do so Nobody tries to engineer a confrontation between Jack and The Wild Bunch, all 150 of them!
An interesting mix of comedy and myth making which has a charm all of its own, features the flawless Henry Fonda, and a great Ennio Morricone soundtrack.

sex kittens go to college (1960)

"I'm so far out already, I'm on another planet."
The new science department head for Collins College arrives and immediately causes consternation as its a well stacked blond! Whilst Dr Mathilda West (Mamie Van Doren) causes much distraction, two thugs search for Sam Thinko a super-brained robot, whom they want to use to predict horse races.
This has a love/hate reaction on people. Maybe its the good looking dames, Mamie, Tuesday Weld and Bridget's younger sister Mijanou, added to a script that satiries the teen comedy stereotypes, but I'm in the camp classic group. Not the best of anything, but it entertains me at least.

onibaba (1964)

"When the war ends the men will come back."
14th century Japan is being ripped apart by feudal wars and in a remote swamp area Kichi has been conscripted, leaving his mother (Nobuko Otowa) and wife (Jitsuko Yoshimura) awaiting his return. They survive by killing unsuspecting samurai and selling their armour for food. Then Hachi (Kei Satô) a friend of Kichi's turns up and tells them he's dead. Tensions build as the young widow turns her affections to him, and the older woman fearing abandonment, plots to keep them apart.
Classic Japanese period drama that shifts into claustrophobic and atmospheric horror mode with the arrival of Hachi.

assassination (1964)

AKA Ansatsu.
"What kind of man swings so easily from Emperor to Shogun?"
Its 1853 and the arrival of American ships breaking Japans traditional isolation throwns Japan into political turmoil. Hachiro Kiyokawa (Tetsurô Tanba) is an ambitious ronin who tries to use this tumult to further his own ends and shifts between political factions attempting to prevent the outbreak of civil war.
A strongly nihilistic film, exploring the concepts of honour, betrayal and how the previously honourable samurai have decended into political assassins.

watch me when i kill (1977)

AKA The Cat's Victims. Il gatto dagli occhi di giada. The Cat with the Jade Eyes. Revenge Of The Cat.
"You need to kill them, they know too much."
Mara (Paola Tedesco) witnesses the murder of a pharmacist and finds herself being stalked by the killer. When a friend Lukas (Corrado Pani) tries to stop the madman, he uncovers a revenge story that goes back to WWII and a dark secret.
An interesting and likable Giallo, solid if not spectacular.

shock (1977)

AKA Beyond The Door II. Schock.
"Mama, I have to kill you."
Dora (Daria Nicolodi) is emotionally unstable, after the apparent suicide of her first husband and years of abuse at his hands. Newly re-married to Bruno (John Steiner), he insists they move back to the home she once shared with husband number one. But she is uneasy about it, especially when her son Marco (David Colin Jr.) starts talking to an imaginary friend, a friend that seems to have a malevolent agenda.
Bava's last film isn't his best, but is still an entertaining suspense filled horror with some interesting plot twists to keep you guessing. Unfortunately much of the movie centres on the child, who is more than annoying and difficult to ignore.