the pyramid (2014)

"Let's go deeper into this hellhole..."
A documentary team (James Buckley & Christa Nicola) visits an Eygptian dig, led by father and daughter (Denis O'Hare & Ashley Hinshaw). They have uncovered an underground pyramid, and just as they find the entrance, the expedition is told to leave, but before they do, they send a robot camera down to see what is inside, then follow the camera down when something wrecks it...
Mildly shocking entertainment, featuring characters that you just don't care about.

crooks tour (1940)

aka Night Train To Munich.
"All night in the desert. No bed, no bath."
Charters and Caldicott (Basil Radford & Naunton Wayne) return and inadvertantly get involved in a spy plot to prevent oil being sent to the British war effort by Saudi Arabia.
Mildly amusing spin-off characters from The Lady Vanishes.

war gods of babylon (1962)

aka Le sette folgori di Assur. 7th Thunderbolt.
"...you can belong to no one else, not even a God."
Mirra (Jocelyn Lane), has her village destroyed by the Asyrians, killing everyone but her. She is saved when a travelling holyman takes her to the capital. There she catches the eye of Shammash (Luciano Marin), the king's brother, who brings her to live in the palace. Unfortunately King Sardanapalo (Howard Duff), also takes a shine to her, and so the bickering begins.
To say that there are better epics, is not saying a lot.

hercules and the black pirates (1964)

aka Sansone contro il corsaro nero. Hercules vs Black Pirate.
"Good for you Hercules."
Hercules (Sergio Ciani) is engaged in ridding the seas of pirates, but unknown to all, Rodrigo Sanchez (Piero Lulli) is in league with the wicked Black Pirate (Andrea Aureli) and does all he can to frame Hercules.
The long lived Hercules tips up in the 18th C and leads a rip-roaring romp.

hercules against the barbarians (1964)

aka Maciste nell'inferno di Gengis Khan.
"That's what you wanted wasn't it!"
In the 12th century Kubilai (Ken Clark) is defeated trying to take Cracow, by an army led by Hercules (Mark Forest). So Kubukai hatches a plan to find and kidnap the heir to the throne, Armina (José Greci). Can Hercules save her and defeats Khan again?
At this point in the franchise, anything can happen, so why not have Hercules battling the Mongols in Poland, and why not throw in some crocodiles for good measure!!!

The Case of the Bloody Iris (1972)

aka Perché quelle strane gocce di sangue sul corpo di Jennifer? Erotic Blue.
"Don't be afraid."
Jennifer (Edwige Fenech), and Marilyn (Paola Quattrini) move into the flat of a recently murdered girl. Jennifer has recently fled a sex cult, and her husband Adam (Ben Carra), but she soon starts being stalked by the murderer herself.
Styalised crime drama. full of red herrings, and bizarre sub-plots, but just about pulls it off.

the church (1989)

aka La chiesa
"A stone with seven eyes." A gothic church is built over a mass grave of murdered pagans. Unfortunately a young librarian (Tomas Arana) manages to unleash the demons when he removes a cross that is imprisoning them. Prompting them to possess all in their path, leaving only Father Gus (Hugh Quarshie) left to fight them.
Visually stunning, plot slightly less so.

how to talk to girls at parties (2017)

"I feel alive."
Enn (Alex Sharp), is an introverted school kid, enamoured of punk, in 1970's Croydon. His life changes when he meets the alien Zan (Elle Fanning), who breaks away from her group to visit 'the punk'.
A wonderful story of teenage love, in all its complications. As with all Cameron Mitchell films, you either love it or not!

frankenstein (2004)

"I am not the monster any more, I am your best hope."
Detective's Carson O'Conner (Parker Posey), and Michael Sloane (Adam Goldberg), are trailing a grisly serial-killer, when Carson meets Deucalion (Vincent Perez). He tells her he is 200 years old, and was made by Dr. Victor Helios (Thomas Kretschmann). Could he be the real life Victor Frankenstein that Mary Shelley fictionalised?
Interesting modernisation of the Mary Shelley story.

best before death (2019)

"The art is the dreams drempt whilst in the bed."
Documentary following Bill Drummond on the first two years of a twelve year art tour of the world. Whilst performing his art, whether baking cakes, or making beds, he is questioned whereever he goes.
'What are you trying to say?. 'Right now, I don't know.'
Art as, life affirmation, a midlife crisis, or performance?

oldboy (2013)

"Hello! I'm stuck in a motel room!"
Joe Doucett (Josh Brolin) is a drunkard and a letch, who is kidnapped and placed in solitary confinement for twenty years for no apparant reason. So whinexplicably released he is determined to find out who ordered his incarseration and why.
Remake of the Korean original, and one that will have you asking why bother?

shadow (2018)

aka Ying
"Without the real, there can be no shadow."
In ancient China, three kingdoms are fighting over who controls a city. An uneasy truce comes into force, but things are not what they seem in Pai, where the king (Zheng Kai), believes his wishes are being supported by his Commander Ziyu (Deng Chao), little knowing that Ziyu is in fact a double, whilst the real commander is in hiding, recovering from a sever wound, and plotting the kings downfall.
Beautifully crafted film, awash in black, white and greys, with every frame a delight to look at. Whilst the plot twists and convolutes.

the terrornauts (1967)

"They may have brought us here to do a job for them."
Workers at a radio telescope, (including Charles Hawtrey and Patricia Hayes), recieve a signal from space, and when they answer it, are kidknapped and taken to a satelite, where they undergo a series of intelligence tests, as they attempt to find out why they've been abducted, and how to escape back to earth.
Campy, lo-fi fun.