performance (1970)

"I am a bullet."
Chas (James Fox), a violent East London gangster in the employ of Harry Flowers (Johnny Shannon). He ends up on the run, needing a place to lie low, when he kills someone he shouldn't have. He finds the perfect hideout when he comes across the home of reclusive rockstar Turner (Mick Jagger). But as the time passes he and Turner perform a bizzare cat and mouse game...
What starts as a straight up gangster flick quickly becomes a bizzare, drug fuelled journey into the mind of two men. Sat on by Warner Bros. for two years before release, as they perplexed over what the film was about, this is one hell of a trip.

unearthly stranger (1963)

"John, in a little while I expect to die - to be killed by something you and I know is here. Invisible… moving unseen amongst us all. Even if I had known what I know now, could I, or anyone, have held back… the terror?"
Dr Davidson (John Neville) is seen running through London at night, terrified, but why? The story bactracks to a number of unexplained deaths of scientists working on the space race, what or who is killing them? Major Clarke (Patrick Newell) is brought in to investigate and focuses on Dr Davidson and his new wife, Julie (Gabriella Licudi). A woman who doesn't seem to blink? Could it be that aliens have infiltrated the population and could Julie be one of them?
Intelligent, understated and most of all entertaining b movie sci-fi. Deserves to be better known than it is.

M (1931)

"I can't help what I do! I can't help it, I can't..."
In a German city, Hans Beckert (Peter Lorre) is murdering young girls. The police are under pressure to find the killer, but are having no luck. In their efforts they are disturbing the work of organized crime and so the crime bosses decide the only way to get things back to normal is to catch the killer themselves.
A classic from a master filmmaker, featuring a masterful performance by Lorre, who manages to make us have compassion and sympathy for a child killer and rapist.

earth vs the spider (1958)

"If you want to be on the safe side, call the pest control people in Springdale and have 'em send out all the DDT they can find."
Small town America and Carol Flynn (June Kenney) is worried because her dad did not return home last night. She sets out with Mike (Eugene Persson) to look for him, but only finds some strange sticky rope like substance and her father's abandoned truck. They decide to search the nearby caves, however all they find is a giant web and some skeletons...
A typical 50's creature feature from AIP, entertaining if you just let yourself go with it.

police dog (1955)

"Every dirty little crook has a gun these days."
Frank Mason (Tim Turner) a policeman gets involved with chasing a burglar with another bobby. Unfortunately the burgler has a gun and is more than willing to use it and Frank's pal cops it. Frank vows to find the miscreant and bring him to justice, but the man seems to have disappeared. Then someone brings in a vicious dog, a dog that Frank takes to and thinks he can train. Thus Frank is assigned to the dog squad and takes in the Alsatian.
A typical 50's look at the good old British bobby, with the added twist of a dog. Passes easily and quickly, but really notable for an early appearance by Christopher Lee, with cockney accent!

galaxina (1980)

"You know kid you've got a bad habit...you breathe."
The crew of an interstellar police ship are sent to recover the blue star, a mysterious crystal. On board is Galaxina a female android, that runs the ship and has been developed to have feelings. She also happens to be beautiful so inevitably she and a crew member, Sgt. Thor (Stephen Macht) inevitably fall in love.
A lesser sci-fi, that tries to lightly spoof a number of other then recent sci-fi's, which is renowned mainly as the starring vehicle for Dorothy Stratten, an ex-Playboy model, breaking into movies. Unfortunately for her she had a jealous husband who murdered her not long after the film premiered.

the bonnie parker story (1958)

"Look mister you can anything you want."
Bonnie Parker (Dorothy Provine), can only get dead end jobs, as she is married to an notorious armed robber. But she is a wild cat, who cannot stay out of trouble and hooks up with Guy Darrow (Jack Hogan) and starts a career of armed robbery. When they make a name for themselves as real desperadoes Tom Steel, a Texas Ranger (Douglas Kennedy) is assigned to track them and bring them in.
This biopic of Bonnie and Clyde proves to be a thrill a minute journey, as we follow the pair to their inevitable end. For some reason Clyde Barrow is Guy Darrow here, but this doesn't detract, and Provine is a suitable mix of aggression and sex.

doctor in love (1960)

"You're the most beautiful girl I've ever clapped my stethoscope on."
We are introduced to Doctors Burke (Leslie Phillips) and Hare (Michael Craig), who have to leave the confines of St Swithins and take up general practice. But before they leave Burke arranges for them to go somewhere to relax; becoming patients at the Foulness Anti-cold Unit.
With the coming of the sixties, and Dirk Bogarde moving onto bigger and better things, the Doctor series brings in Leslie Philips as the lecherous Dr Burke to torment Sir Lancelot (James Robertson Justice) and add a level of sauciness not seen before in the series. Not the best of the series, Craig doesn't seem to take to the part, but we see in Philips the future direction.

fire maidens from outer space (1956)

"Set your Longine watches now!"
A team of scientists take a trip to the thirteenth moon of Jupiter. They surprisingly find it much like earth and inhabited by an elderly man, his fifteen 'daughters', and a monster. The man maintains that this is New Atlantis...
A B movie that's watchable for all the wrong reasons. Marvel at the lack of editing as a secretary takes two minutes to walk down some stairs, takes fully ten seconds of dictation and we then watch her make the reverse journey back up! Boggle at the number of mentions of a particular brand of watches...all this and more will keep you mildly amused in this cheap space exploration flick.

meantime (1984)

"He's as much right to a proper job as anyone else."
The Pollack's are all on the dole, and each copes with the daily boredom in their own way. Mark (Phil Daniels) hangs around with Coxy (Gary Oldman) a skinhead thug. Whilst Colin (Tim Roth), is tormented by his brother for being slightly retarded. Their fractious relationship comes to a head when their wealthy aunt gives Colin a job, making Mark jealous.
Drama set around the social mores of working class life, or rather the lack of working class life, and the desolation reaped a life of the young with no motivation or aim in life. relentlessly dark but entertaining political diatribe originally shown on the BBC.

never let go (1960)

"Did you see my car? I parked it over there. The new Ford Anglia."
John Cummings (Richard Todd) is a salesman who can ill afford to have his new car stolen, as he cannot work without it, and didn't fully insure it. Due to police apathy, and pressure at work, he determines to find it himself. This puts him on the trail of crime boss Meadows (Peter Sellers) and small time hood Tommy (Adam Faith).
A gritty crime drama with a suitably manic performance from Sellers in a non comic role, and driven by a noirish score by John Barry. Starts slowly, but once it gets going it cannot fail to grip.

the beast from 20,000 fathoms (1953)

"You know every time one of those things goes off, I feel as if I was helping to write the first chapter of a new Genesis."
The army decide to conduct a nuclear test in the arctic. Unfortunately this thaws out a huge dinosaur which for want of anything better to do decides to head for New York. Its up to Professor Tom Nesbitt (Paul Hubschmid) to stop the destructive beast.
Entertaining creature feature making great use of Ray Harryhausen's unique talents to bring the monster to life.

parents (1989)

"I don't want any."
In typical 1950's suburbia Michael Laemie (Brian Madorsky) lives with his unremarkable parents, except he has horrific nightmares. He comes to believe that his parents, (Randy Quaid and Mary Beth Hurt) are cooking something a bit more special than just beef. Could it be that they are cannibals?
A wonderfully understated black comedy of a horror.

darkman (1990)

"What is it about the dark? What secret does it hold?"
Peyton Westlake (Liam Neeson) is a scientist who has discovered a process to make synthetic skin. Unfortunately the skin degrades after 100 minutes in daylight. Then Peyton is attacked by gangsters and is left for dead, horrifically burnt. Once recovered and hideously scared Peyton wants revenge, and he converts into Darkman. Using his synthetic skin he is able to take on the appearance of anyone and is impervious to pain. But he still cannot last longer than 100 minutes in any disguise.
An original comic creation by Raimi has more depth than most, and is thus more interesting, but the complexity of Peyton Westlake and the sadistic pleasure he takes in torturing his victims make him less sympathetic as a character. His motivations point towards the more recent Batman, but at the time was a step to far for most

300 (2006)

"The world will know that free men stood against a tyrant, that few stood against many, and before this battle was over, even a god-king can bleed."
King Leonidas (Gerard Butler) is confronted by emmissaries of the Persian king Xerxes (Rodrigo Santoro), wanting him to give tribute to the might of the Persian empire and become part of his kingdom. This is something that Leonidas cannot do. Thus Sparta goes to war against the Persians, and Leonidas gambles on stopping Xerxes vastly superior forces at Thermopylae, a narrow mountain pass. Due to a forthcoming festival (when no Spartan can go to war) and some tratorous politicians Leonidas has no choice but to only take 300 men, but can he really overcome such overwhelming odds?
The epic story of the Battle of Thermopylae, between the Spartan's and Persian's, that took place in 480 BC. Live action is rendered with rotoscoping, to present a more comic look and feel, making it look like a Tom of Finland take on the Spartan army. Remember before critisising it as inaccurate and portraying the Persians as monsters, this is based on a COMIC!

the scamp (1957)

AKA Strange Affection.
"I don't think you are fit to be his father."
Stephen Leigh (Richard Attenborough) and his wife Barbara (Dorothy Alison) are desperate for kids, but are unable to conceive. Then Tom (Colin Petersen), a motherless boy, who is physically abused by his dad (Terence Morgan) enters their life and Stephen comes to an agreement with Tom's father to take in the boy. But can Tom come to terms with a normal family life, or is his disruptive behaviour drive the family unit apart?
Family drama, where the liberal approach, rather than beating the living daylights out of a child is seen to be the way forward. Interesting drama, that holds your attention, and root for Attenborough's character as he battles to redeem the child.

mad max (1979)

"I'm scared, Fif. It's that rat circus out there, I'm beginning to enjoy it. Look, any longer out on that road and I'm one of them, a terminal psychotic, except that I've got this bronze badge that says that I'm one of the good guys."
Australia in the near future and society is crumbling, with gangs stalking the highways in the hunt for thrills and petrol. Last bastions of law and order are the traffic cops including Max Rockatansky (Mel Gibson). Following the death of the Nightrider, vicious gang leader the Toecutter (Hugh Keays-Byrne), takes his revenge on Max; killing his wife (Joanne Samuel) and child. Max inevitably loses it and seeks out the gang, decending into oblivion as he prowls the roads in search of vengeance.
Mad Max is another in a long line of antihero loners that proved a hit with audiences the world over and spawned two sequels. For fans of mono-syllabic men with a thing for crashing cars.

mad max 2 (1981)

AKA Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior.
"My life fades. The vision dims. All that remains are memories. I remember a time of chaos. Ruined dreams. This wasted land. But most of all, I remember The Road Warrior. The man we called 'Max'."
Post-apocalyptic Australia, and the traffic cop Max (Mel Gibson), stumbles upon a community struggling to hold off a gang of merrauding bikers led by The Humungus. They are after the most precious thing, oil and the refinary the community is built around. Max enveigels his way into the compound, and agrees to help them fight their way out with as much of the oil as they can transport.
A loner in a desolate world, with chaos and car smashes all round. What's not to like?

beneath the valley of the ultra-vixens (1979)

"Get your dick out of there, you "prevert!"
Smalltown USA and Levonna (Kitten Natividad) & Lamar (Ken Kerr) are perfectly happy, but for Lamar's obsession with rear entry sex. In an attempt to get him out of it Levonna becomes the Mexican stripper Lola (with the aid of a wig). This doesn't work so Lemar resorts to seeking the help of Sister Eufaula Roo (Ann Marie).
Well its a Meyer film, so you know what to expect, and plenty of it! All narrated by Stuart Lancaster.

supervixens (1975)

"Like I were saying, how does my beautiful body look today?"
Clint (Charles Pitts) has to go on the run when his wife is killed by a psychotic cop (Charles Napier), who pins the murder on him. Whilst on the run, Clint gets into all sorts of sexual shenanagins with various voluptuous nymphos, whilst dodging the cop. All overseen by Supervixen (Shari Eubank).
A quintessential Meyer film, big breasted women, wimpy men, violence and low comedy, presented by all Meyer's regular cast. You either love em or hate em, but there ain't another like em.

and god created woman (1956)

AKA Et Dieu... créa la femme.
"Ah! The Garden of Eden in Saint-Tropez!"
Juliete Hardy (Brigitte Bardot) is an eighteen year old orphan in St Tropez, who causes scandal with her free ways. She attracts the attention of the wealthy Eric Carradine (Curd Jürgens), but she prefers Antoine Tardieu (Christian Marquand), who owns a rundown shipyard. Unfortunately he isn't interested in more than a one nightstand before leaving St Tropez. Things come to a head when her guardians decide to send her back to the orphanage due to scandal she is attracting. Antoine's brother Michel (Jean-Louis Trintignant) comes to her rescue and proposes; a proposal she is happy to accept. Their happy marriage then hits a snag when the Tardieu's decides to sell the shipyard and Antoine returns to manage it. Seeing him again re-ignited Juliete's desire for him; a desire that will only end in tragedy.
The film that brought Bardot to the attention of the western world, which looks quaint now, but caused many pulses to race at the time. Basically its an excuse to show her in various states of undress and causing mayhem and lust wherever she went.

the door with seven locks (1941)

AKA Chamber of Horrors.
"A woman's Scream was music to his ears!"
Lord Stanley Francis (Aubrey Mallalieu) is dying, poisoned by Dr. Manetta (Leslie Banks) with the help of the servants. The lord mistrusting everyone has his valuables placed in a vault with seven locks. Ten years pass with no one having access to the vault, when June Lansdowne (Lilli Palmer) is sent a message and a key! This starts her journey to find out about the key, and throws her into the arms of Dr Manetta, who wants the keys and decides to use his collection of Medeival torture devices to get them. Can anyone save June from a dastardly fate?
A surprisingly entertaining b-movie horror, due mainly to the presence of Lilli Palmer and her quick quipping and easy to scare, side kick Gina Malo.

the mouse that roared (1959)

"I do hope the Americans are kind to them."
The small country of Grand Fenwick is in crisis, it has run out of money. To drum up some cash they decide to declare war on the USA, with the aim of losing as quickly as possible and then reap the reparations that the US would inevitably pour into the country. There exists only two problems, the fact that the USA think the declaration of war is a joke, and the second is Tully Bascombe (Peter Sellars) the leader of the war party, who manages to actually win due to his capture of the newly developed Q bomb, its inventor (David Kossoff) and his daughter (Jean Seberg)!
A tour de force by Peter Sellars, who features in multiple roles in this cold war satire.

top secret (1984)

"I know a little German. He's sitting over there."
Nick Rivers (Val Kilmer) is an American rock n roll singer, who is booked to play an East German gig. There he gets involved in breaking out a scientist, who is developing the next generation of super-weapon, from prison.
Another follow up by Zucker and Abrahams using their patented spoof 'Airplane' style. This time they target WWII resistance movies, which isn't as successful as the Airplane/Naked Gun franchises, but has its moments.