world war z (2013)

"Whatever goes to hell, stays in hell!"
A viral outbreak hits the world, and spreads like wildfire, infecting all those bitten. The virus leaps around the world, landing in New York, where Gerry Lane (Brad Pitt) and his family witness it first hand, and are lucky to escape. In shock, Gerry is called into action, and revive his past career as a UN fixer, and protect a virologist as he attempts to find out where the pandemic started. Their first stop: South Korea.
Entertaining, roller-coaster of a thriller, as long as you don't stop to think about the plot!

the bells (1973)

aka Bell from Hell. La campana del infierno.
"finally you realise that there is only dust inside your head."
John (Renaud Verley) is released from an asylum, but doesn't return home until after a sojourn working in a slaughter house. Once home he invites his aunt and her three daughters over for dinner, and starts discussing his inheritance. Did they really have him sectioned to gain control of his money?
Suspenseful revenge thriller, full of startling imagery.

hotel! (2001)

"You've got 24 minutes!"
Terrorists led by Radochek Zeigler (Art Malik) take over a country house hotel. The only man that can save them is Ben Carter (Paul McGann).
Slapstick comedy, featuring the good and the bad of British tv comedians and actors, but none can save this one note re-hash of the Airplane franchise. This does no one any credit!

carry on admiral (1957)

aka The Ship Was Loaded.
"I've come ahead to see that everything is shipshape."
Two friends, Tom and Peter (David Tomlinson & Brian Reece) switch identities after getting drunk. unfortunately this means that Tom, a parliamentary secretary, gets mistaken for a naval captain, and causes a number of catastrophes in the process.
Lacks logic and laughs, a fatal flaw for a comedy.

the purge (2013)

"Wanting is our will on this fine night."
It's 2022 and the U.S. has found the secret to a crime free society; one night of 'purging', where anything goes, including murder. The belief being that this releases any pent up aggression. James Sandin (Ethan Hawke) ascribes to this viewpoint, and as a wealthy security systems salesman, believes that the purge will never touch him or his family in their gated community. But that doesn't allow for his 10 year old son's compassion when he gives a bloody stranger (Edwin Hodge) sanctuary. Especially when the Wasp'ish gang that were chasing him come knocking, and want their prey.
Well, the premise is absurd, the participants annoying, (constantly making bad and irrational decisions), and numerous moral issues are brought up only to be subsequently ignored. Apart from these few quibbles...

the seven minutes (1971)

"Objection!"
A newly published book, The Seven Minutes, is up in court to determine if it is pornographic. Complicating the defenses case is an opportunist politician who is trying to make gains off the back of the issue of pornography, and has throw his weight behind the case of a young man who is up for rape and attempted murder. They maintain he was inflamed by reading the book, and care not a jot that he may not be guilty of the rape.
A courtroom drama, played out with Meyer's larger than life characters and comic asides. Surprisingly entertaining and restrained for a Meyer film.

the strange hostel of pleasures (1975)

aka Fracasso de Um Homem nas Duas Noites de Núpcias. Estranha Hospedaria dos Prazeres.
"God! Sorry but this house scares me!"
Coffin Joe (José Mojica Marins) runs a small hotel, where a variety of people check-in, but none check out!
Bafflingly psychedelic Brazilian horror, from the warped mind of José Mojica Marins, who provides metaphysical rambling, and non-actors to the party.

the travelor (1979)

aka El Caminante. "man is the only true evil being of creation." An amoral traveller Leonardo (Paul Naschy) walks the highways of Medieval Spain, corrupting all that he meets. For it turns out this man is the devil and he has decided to see just how corrupt and selfish the human race really is.
Episodic and bawdy film, played out in a style of the Decameron, as it unfolds its comic morality tale.

tomb of the werewolf (1984)

"Decide Count. Who shall live and who shall die?"
Medieval Countess, Erzabeth Bathory (Michelle Bauer), makes a pact with the devil, she has to bath in the blood of her victims, to retain her youth & beauty. We move then to the present and a TV show is shooting at Castle Daninsky. Their search for treasure, instead unearths the tomb of Bathory's servant, Waldemar, a werewolf (Paul Naschy).
Straight to video, but much better if it had been straight to the bin!

the vengeance of the mummy (1973)

aka The Mummy's Revenge. La venganza de la momia.
"Everyone knows mummy's cannot come back to life."
Prof. Nathan Stark (Jack Taylor) discovers the tomb of Amenhotep (Paul Naschy), and ships it back to London to exhibit. But Assad Bey, the servant of Amenhotep has ways of bringing the Pharaoh back to life. But in order For Amenhotep to achieve immortality, Assad Bey has to sacrifice some nubile young virgins.
Essentially a re-telling of the classic tale, and one done with a certain style.

the black godfather (1974)

"Ain't no room for the both of us."
JJ (Rod Perry), has ambition, and wants to see the white heroin cartel is run out of the black neighbourhoods, so he can run it himself. Understandably the cartel are reluctant to give up their market share, and it's only a matter of time before things come to a head. To aid his takeover, JJ recruits a black militant named Diablo (Damu King) and his men in an uneasy truce to fight against the man.
Low key, by the rules of blacksploitation, this story never really catches fire.

the antichrist (1974)

aka L'anticristo. The Tempter. Blasphemy.
"This time I'm going to win."
Ippolita Oderisi (Carla Gravina), is a physically handicapped young woman, haunted by the death of her mother. A psychologist tries a bit of past life regression on her, revealing that Ippolita had been a witch burnt at the stake during the Inquisition. This unlocks more than just repressed memories, as she starts to imitate her past life, seducing and killing young men. Naturally her friends are worried and an exorcist (George Coulouris) is brought in to help...
Having seen how popular the Exorcist was, De Martino was duty bound to rip it off, badly.

riddles of the sphinx (2008)

"Keep her out of trouble will you."
Jessica (Dina Meyer) unleashes the wrath of the sphinx when she tries to enter its tomb, and unwittingly involves a history teacher (Lochlyn Munro) and his daughter in the fight.
Tomb Raider very lite!

eve and the handyman (1961)

"My mind raced like a hot rod along the drag strip of inspiration."
Eve (Eve Meyer) is spying on handyman (Anthony-James Ryan), as he does his daily chores, but why is she watching him?
Nudie-cutie that exploits men's desire to see women in the nude, any other consideration was secondary to this, and thus this proves. For whilst it injects a certain silent, and slapstick humour into the proceedings, it is never a funny film.

black cobra (1987)

aka Cobra Nero.
"Enough with the tears, OK?"
A siege with hostages is in progress, enter Robert Malone (Fred Williamson), who on being told to negotiate and acquiesce the kidnappers demands, shoots them all dead! Can you tell this is a cop playing by his own rules, and getting the job done? Subsequently he is called on to act as witness protection, for Elys Trumbo (Eva Grimaldi), who has witnessed a murder by a psychopathic gang. But should he hole up and stop her from being intimidated? Or should he find them, and deliver some high caliber justice of his own?
By the numbers action flick, that has the Italians taking Dirty Harry as its template, and adds a dash of John Carpenter's synth driven soundtrack. What's not to like?

night of the howling beast (1975)

aka La maldición de la bestia. Hall of the Mountain King. Horror of the Werewolf. The Curse of the Beast. The Werewolf and the Yeti.
"How did you get the name Tiger? Because I've never seen anyone more afraid."
whilst hunting for the Yeti in the Himalayas, adventurer Waldemar Daninsky (Paul Naschy) is captured by two attractive demons guarding a sacred shrine. Finding that his hosts are cannibals, Waldemar kills them, but not before they curse him to become a werewolf. Can he find his way back to his fellow explorers and find a cure for his affliction?
Naschy returns to the yeti/werewolf plot line, in a quickfire adventure.

carnivore (1983)

aka The Final Terror. Bump in the Night. Campsite Massacre. The Forest Primeval. "If you people want to survive, you better start looking and thinking like the forest."
A group teens are taken by a couple of forest rangers to work and camp in a remote forest. Unfortunately for them they don't know that someone is very protective of this woodland...
, Uninvolved stalk fest, only of interest as it features Rachel Ward and Daryl Hannah. Horror, American, Andrew Davis,

burial ground (1981)

aka Le notti del terrore. The Nights of Terror. Zombie 3. The Zombie Dead. "I am the only one that knows the secret" A professor (Raimondo Barbieri) opens a crypt whilst conducting his research, but what he finds there are zombies. Having been cooped up for so long the zombies naturally decide to go party, and there happens to be one already in progress at a nearby villa...
Some creative deaths make up to some extent for the ineptitude of the rest of this run of the mill zombie horror.

zombies' lake (1981)

aka Zombie Lake. Le lac des morts vivants. The Lake of the Living Dead.
"You could call it the damned lake of the damned!"
The love story of a French girl and the German soldier who saved her life during WWII. He subsequently dies at the hands of the French resistance, and is thrown into a lake. But that's not going to stop him from returning as a zombie some years later to find his daughter, and he's brought some mates along.
Slow, episodic, and badly filmed zombie romance!

berberian sound studio (2012)

"This is not a horror film. This is a Santini film!"
Gilderoy (Toby Jones) a meak English sound engineer moves to Italy to work on a film. He sound finds himself alone and uncomfortable, working on a grissly horror film. As he immerses himself in his work, and that of the films grisly content, Gilderoy starts to feel homesick, and his mental state comes in for a battering.
Fish out of water drama, which establishes a wonderfully creepy atmosphere, as it fetishises sound and analogue sound equipment, and gives homage to Italian horror and Giallo soundtracks. The films one low point is its ending with no resolution, leaving the viewer baffled and disorientated, but may be that is what the director intended, as it mirrors the state of the main character.

conquest of mycene (1963)

aka Ercole contro Molock. Hercules vs. the Molloch. Hercules Against Moloch. Hercules Attacks.
"If you love freedom above all else, Glauco loves it more so."
Glauco (Gordon Scott), is a prince to a neighboring empire who goes undercover as Hercules in an attempt to free Mycenae from the corrupt and evil Queen Demetra (Rosalba Neri) and her disfigured son Moloch.
Well made political thriller, with the added attractions of a hunky hero and beautiful princesses and queens.