rock n roll high school (1979)

"Do your parents know that you are ramones?"
A new term at Vince Lombardi High School, and a new no-nonesense principle (Mary Woronov), who is determined to stamp out the unruly behaviour of the students, led by Riff Randle (P.J. Soles), whose only thoughts for the upcoming concert by the Ramones.
Whether you like this or not probably depends on whether you like the Ramones or not, who are shoe-horned into a film that mocks those high school flicks of the 50's and 60's.

piranha (1972)

"Hey, can you help me out?"
A pair of American tourists (Ahna Capri & Tom Simcox) venture into the Venezuelan jungle to sightsee and take some photo's, but run afoul of local hunter Caribe (William Smith).
Poorly acted, scripted, and paced, this is a let down in so many ways, and would work more as a wildlife travelogue than the supposed horror it sells itself as.

abbott and costello meet the mummy (1955)

"if you do not find it, you must die."
Bud and Lou find themselves in possession of a medallion linked with a mummy (Eddie Parker), and an Egyptian cult, led by the mysterious Madame Rontru (Marie Windsor), are very interested in obtaining it.
Brings a smile at times, but for their last Universal outing it's obvious the series had run its course. Far too much farcical running from room to room, and very little mummy action.

the day the sky exploded (1958)

aka La morte viene dallo spazio.
"To the successful conclusion of this venture."
Meteors are on a collision course with earth, so scientists are working against time to prevent this obviously disasterous occurance from happening.
Low budget oddity from Italy, known more for its director of photography, Mario Bava, than its plot. Manyly due to the fact that virtually all the film is set in a spaceship's control room.

abbott and costello meet dr. jekyll and mr. hyde (1953)

"He turned me into a mouse, the rat!"
Our bumbling duo play a pair of American cops enrolled in the Metropolitan police to study British police methods. In the process they get involved with Dr Jekyll and consequently Mr. Hyde (Boris Karloff).
Karloff excells in his part, whilst A & C give their usual slapstick performance.

the mandarin mystery (1936)

"Ah! Go take a bath!"
The famous detective Ellery Queen (Eddie Quillan) undertakes to solve a crime involving a valuable stamp, when it's stolen from Josephine Temple (Charlotte Henry).
Quillan plays the detective as a love-struck puppy dog, bringing comedy into the story, but throwing out the mystery element in the process.

africa screams (1949)

"Oh you're such a nuisance."
Abbott & Costello get involved in an expedition to Africa and the search for diamonds. Once there they stumble across lions, cannibals, crocodiles, men in monkey suits, and the campest man in Africa.
Entertaining run out for A & C, lifted some more by Shemp Howard's short sighted gunner routine.

sucker punch (2011)

"if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything."
Abused by her stepfather Babydoll (Emily Browning) retreats into an fantasy world, is institutionalised, and faces undergoing a lobotomy. Can she and four others escape the facility before this happens.
Visually stunning noir fantasy steampunk thriller, which fails to make you empathise with its participants: A computer game mashup of a Pussycat Doll video and the Matrix.

the killings at outpost zeta (1980)

"My feelings are this is a graveyard."
Some terraformers, tasked with making uninhabited planets ready for collanisation, are dying. So a team is put together to find out what is happening and stop it.
Wordy low budget sci-fi, you will either get annoyed by its pedestrian pacing, or feel its a obscure and haunting gem driven by its minimalistic electronic soundtrack.

the island of dr. moreau (1977)

"Flesh reasserts itself."
Braddock (Michael York), adrift in a lifeboat, lands on a remote pacific island. He's found by Dr. Montgomery (Nigel Davenport), who aids his reabilitation. But he starts to become disturbed when he meets the natives and finds they are experiments of Dr. Moreau (Burt Lancaster).
The third version of the H.G. Wells story, centred on Michael York's horrified reaction to the events he witnesses.

end of the world (1977)

"We did the best we could."
A scientist intercepts doomladen messages to aliens, and tracks them down to a convent run by priest (Christopher Lee), who turns out to be an alien impersonating the real priest.
A film where a whole lot of nothing happens...and what does is ploddingly slow! Sometimes life is just too short!

the wrong arm of the law (1963)

aka Gentlemenkillers.
"No one knows where we are any more."
The London underworld is up in arms, as their tried and tested methods of robbing people are disrupted when a new gang arrives in town, stealing from them by impersonating the police. Thus Police Inspector Parker (Lionel Jeffries) joins up with gangland boss Pearly Gates' (Peter Sellers) in an attempt to catch these interlopers, and return to the status quo.
A classic comedy, where Lionel Jefferies steals the show as the pompous policeman, no mean feat when he's acting against Peter Sellers.

hercules in the haunted world (1961)

aka Hercules In The Center Of The Earth.
"I almost wished you had left me here to die."
Hercules (Reg Park) has to decend into Hades to retrieve a stone that will allow him to free Princess Deianira (Leonora Ruffo) from a curse, set by King Lico (Christopher Lee).
Bava gives this installment some added lysergic qualities, that can only up the entertainment value.

the notorious bettie page (2005)

"He's not normal, but he's nice."
Biopic about Bettie Page (Gretchen Mol), the innocent young country girl, who moves from abusive relationships in her Southern homeland, to a career as a model in pin-up, and bondage films, giving it all up when she becomes the 'queen of pin-ups'.
A fine, if fictionalised account of the rise of everyone's favourite cheese cake model.