zombie holocaust (1980)

aka Zombi Holocaust. Dr. Butcher M.D. Dr. Butcher, Medical Deviate. Zombie 3.
"I could easily kill you now, but I'm determined to have your brain!"
Body parts are being taken from a New York city hospital and Lori Ridgeway (Alexandra Delli Colli) finds a clue linking it to a remote tribe on the Moliccas Island. She then tags along when Dr. Peter Chandler (Ian McCulloch) organises an expedition, but once there they soon become involved with cannibals, zombies and a mad scientist.
Standard cannibal flick, that flips into zombie mode two thirds of the way through.

eaten alive (1980)

"It's like going back 5000 years to the stone age."
When her sister goes missing in wilst following a cult leader in the New Guinea jungle, Shiela (Janet Agren) goes after her. She enlists the help of Mark Butler (Robert Kerman), and they enter the interior, full of cobra's, cannibals and cultists.
Cheap video nasty, full of the usual animal cruelty. The actual story rattles along at a pace, from cannibal sacrifices to animals being disemboweled alive - pretty standard fare for a cannibal film.

antropophagus (1980)

aka Anthropophagous: The Beast.
"It's like a nightmare. What could have happened?"
Some friends are touring the Greek islands and arrive at one where everyone of the inhabitants seem to have disappeared. Unfortunately for them its due to an insane killer, intent on thinning out the population.
One of the original video nasties, this is a very basic stalk and slash, which has little plot and leaves little to the imagination, but this is probably its strength. What you see is what you get, long bouts of nothingness, followed by shocking gore.

prometheus (2012)

"This place isn't what we thought it was."
When a team of scientists find clues to what they think are the origins of mankind, they are prompted to journey to a forbidding part of the universe to find the answers. Little do they know what monstrosities are awaiting them there, or who is funding their trip.
Spectacular and dumb sci-fi, where one has to accept that we can develop spacecraft and techniques to travel vast distances through space, but can also neglect the most basic of hygiene and safety procedures.

cockneys vs zombies (2012)

"Have some of this twinkle toes."
A couple of muppets are undertaking a bank robbery when London is overrun with a load of zombies. So they decide to head over to their granddad's OAP home to rescue him, quick sharpish. Fortunately for them their granddad is a right tasty geezer and a dab hand at dishing it out.
Wonderfully gory horror comedy, which makes a feature of the fact that much of the East End already looks like zombies have attacked it. Not all the jokes hit their mark, but most do, and there's enough claret to satisfy most gorehounds.

siege of the saxons (1963)

"...the secret only King Arthur and I have known."
Edmund of Cornwall (Ronald Howard) has his soldiers slay King Arthur, but his daughter Katherine (Janette Scott) escapes, aided by outlaw Robert Marshall (Ronald Lewis), and Merlin (John Laurie). Claiming she is dead Edmund makes ready to usurp the throne in league with Saxon invaders. Katherine and Robert need to find wise man Merlin to help them save Camelot and England.
Run of the mill Arthurian adventure, damsel in distress, helped to regain her thrown by a Robin Hood'esque outlaw.

from the earth to the moon (1958)

"...you're a scienist and there is a whole universe to be explored."
The 1880's and weapon's manufacturer Victor Barbicane (Joseph Cotten) has hit on a fantastic way to market his new explosive; to fire a missile to the moon. But following disquiet from all the governments of the world, he decides instead to build a ship, in which he can not only get to the moon, but also return, but when he approaches arch-rival Stuyvesant Nicholl (George Sanders) to help him, he gets more than he bargains for.
From a Jules Verne story, this is charmless, high budget, and slow; prone to much philosophical discussion, and lacking the adventure it promises.

horrors of the black museum (1959)

"I know I am sensitive to murder."
Edmond Bancroft (Michael Gough), is a novelist who prides himself on how accurate he is when reporting crimes. He hits on the perfect way to do this, hypnotising his assistant into committing the crimes. But as people start to connect him to the crimes, he has to start getting his own hands dirty...
Gough gives his usual over the top performance, exactly what is needed to make this schlock work. Shocking viewing at the time, this has not weathered well, and makes for tame, though entertaining viewing now.

and give us our daily sex (1979)

aka El periscopio.
"At your age it's very common."
sex comedy about a young lad that lives in an apartment below two young nurses, (including Laura Gemser), and his attempts to spy on them with a home made periscope.
Uninspired, and patchy at best; only for those desperate to see more of Laura Gemser or love listening to cocktail jazz soundtracks.

beginning of the end (1957)

"A town of 150 people doesn't just disappear."
Reporter Audrey Ames (Peggie Castle) stumbles on a small town that has been mysteriously destroyed. During follow up interviews she talks to Agricultural scientist Dr. Ed Wainwright (Peter Graves) and they discover that locust have eaten some radioactive wheat and grown enormous. Once found the creatures decide to tour Illinois, starting with a trip to Chicago. As usual the military want to nuke everything, can Audrey and Ed stop the creature before the air-force can make a black hole of home of the blues?
Standard atomic creature feature, lots of talk, a few screams, giant creatures chomping on people, and one stand out feature, the central character being an intrepid female reporter, though she gets quickly ditched in favour of Peter Graves when the action begins.

the night the world exploded (1957)

"There's an earthquake brewing, and it's a bg one."
When Dr. Conway (William Leslie) develops a machine that predicts when earthquakes will hit, he, and his beautiful (and obviously in love with him) female assistant Hutch (Kathryn Grant), head to Carlsbad Caverns to try and ascertain what is the cause of the recent earthquake. What they find is a new element, and forces unknown that seem to be manipulating it to explode the world.
Engaging B-flick, which cracks along at a pace, probably in the hope that we wouldn't notice the cheap script or props, but hell, ain't that the reason we watch these?

vampire vs vampire (1989)

aka Yi mei dao ren. New Mr Vampire 2. Mr Vampire 5: Vampire Vs Vampire.
"So there really are bats in the church."
A Taoist Priest (Ching-Ying Lam) has to fight a European style vampire, resistant to his tricks and spells, and with only two bumbling disciples for help. Meanwhile his apprentices have managed to release a vampire of their own. Happily this one is Chinese and a child and intent on mischief only.
Unfortunately this plays far too heavily on the mildly comedic, and only comes to life when the evil vampire is released and it launches into the action for its last half hour.

king kong lives (1986)

aka King Kong II. "She's pregnant!" Scientists discover a giant female Gorilla, ten years after King Kong has lapsed into a coma. This enables vets to bring him back from the dead, and with a blood transfusion and heart transplant, Kong looses no time in continuing the carnage, and attempt to win himself a bride. It's down to keepers Hank Mitchell & Amy Franklin (Brian Kerwin & Linda Hamilton) to stop the military from harming them. A sequel to the 1974 re-make, and with this pedigree you'd expect it to be bad, but surprisingly this has high production values and turns out ok, (if not a patch on the originals).

alice in wonderland (1915)

"From the queen an invitation to play croquet."
Alice (Viola Savoy) falls asleep and undertakes a journey into her imagination, meeting a fantastical set of creatures whilst there.
For its time this is a wonderful surrealist creation.

flavia the heritic (1974)

aka Flavia, la monaca musulmana. Flavia the Rebel Nun. Flavia, Priestess of Violence. Flavia: Heretic Priestess. The Heretic. The Muslim Nun. The Rebel Nun. "Why is God mad?"
Flavia (Florinda Bolkan), a young nun, questions the scriptures and rules that bind her as a woman and a bride of Christ, and seeing the pain and suffering inflicted on women by men, she rebels when a Muslim army storms the convent, and joins them to exact revenge.
A well made exploitation, with vibrant cinematography, that throws in some feminist critique alongside its condemnation of the Catholic church.

prince of darkness (1987)

"Faith is a hard thing to come by these days."
A group of scientists are recruited by a priest (Donald Pleasence) to investigate a malevolent goo that had been kept in secret in the basement of a church. Could it actually be Satan, held captive?
Interesting premise, that maintains a slow, brooding unease, but never really scares.

emanuelle's revenge (1975)

aka Emanuelle e Françoise le sorelline. Blood Vengeance. Demon Rage.
"Why does love bring so much pain, so much hatred?"
Françoise (Patrizia Gori) commits suicide after suffering years of abuse at the hands of her husband, Carlo (George Eastman). Her sister Emanuelle (Rose Marie Lindt) only finds this out at the inquest and sets out to avenge her. The obvious solution is to toy with him before chaining him up in her house and forcing him to watch her having sex!
Shot through with those exploitation essentials, a funky soundtrack, (courtesy of Gianni Marchetti), bright and breezy visuals, and themes of depravity, obsession and revenge. This unerotic thriller also flirts with Giallo as much as with Sexploitation.