the lady vanishes (1938)

"I never think you should judge any country by its politics. After all, we English are quite honest by nature, aren't we?"
A rich young playgirl (Margaret Lockwood), is flitting around Europe, with not a care in the world. Then whilst on a train, she meets an elderly lady (Dame May Whitty), who then disappears. The only person who believes her is musicologist Gilbert (Michael Redgrave). Together can they discover where the lady has gone, and why everyone maintains that she was never on the train?
Hitchcock mixes light-hearted banter, with real mystery and danger. Add to the mix the classic duo of Charters and Caldicott, the very model of English gentlemen, right down to their reluctance to get involved in anything but the cricket scores. Watch out for the anti-pascifist message - remember this was immediately prior to the start of WWII, and Hitchcock had a point to make.

terror at the opera (1987)

aka Opera.
"You must make the most of this opportunity."
An understudy at the opera (Cristina Marsillach) is given the role of Lady Macbeth, when the star has an accident. It's her big break, but more accidents happen. Is she being stalked by a deranged fan?
Argento brings us a horror in all his flamboyant style, his camera sweeping majestically through the elaborately staged murders, making this a fun watch, but not a patch on his best.

teeth (2007)

"I think she bit me!"
Horny teen gets quite a surprise when he coerses an absinence advocate, Dawn (Jess Weixler), into having sex. For little does he know that she has a surprise in store for him, she has teeth where you shouldn't have teeth! Dawson's Creek teen angst flips into horror at this point. Is she possessed of the mythical Vagina Dentata and if she is what's she to do about it?
Finely played horror made by the son of Roy Lichtenstein, famous for his pop art. So it seems entirely in sympathy that his son is making populist films.

the monster club (1980)

"If I may suggest, tomato juice will be less conspicuous."
R.Chetwynd-Hayes (John Carradine), a horror writer bumps into Erasmus (Vincent Price), a very hungry vampire. In return for some blood, Erasmus promises to show ? his club, the 'monster club'. There, inbetween bands, including the Pretty Things, he's told three gruesome stories.
A who's who of horror actors pack out the club and the stories told, in this campy horror anthology.

beyond the rave (2008)

"I smell death on you soldier."
Originally presented as five minute episodes online, this is now available as a whole its its feature length. It presents the story of Ed (Jamie Dornan) a soldier about to go to the Iraqi warzone. But first he has to find his girlfriend Jen (Nora-Jane Noone) who has fallen in with a bad crowd.
Hammer introduces us to Essex muppets versus the Vampires! It has its moments but some variable acting is not helped by the episodic breakdown. And why can't you hear the rave outside of the main room? It must have the worst sound system in the world!

doc savage: the man of bronze (1975)

"Have no fear! Doc Savage is here!
It's the 1930's, and Doc (Ron Ely) and his five pals, try to find Doc's father who has disappeared whilst in the wilds of South America. Someone doesn't obviously doesn't want them there, as they are attacked by 'the green death'.
A campy and comic version of the pulp novel hero. This looks and feels like a spoof of a 30's Saturday matinee serial, but unfortunately doesn't quite pull it off. Five years later Spielburg covered similar ground with Indiana Jones and we all know how successful that was.

underworld (2003)

"...you're in the middle of a war that has been raging for the better part of a thousand years. A blood feud between vampires and lycans. Werewolves."
Foxy vampire Selene (Kate Beckinsale) stalks the night fighting werewolves lead by Michael Sheen. Then she meets Michael (Scott Speedman), a human who holds a secret that might just allow him to end the eternal struggle between the two groups of night stalkers.
Full on actioner, with with bullets instead of steaks, and a heroine in tight wet look pvc. True it's a convoluted plot, but it doesn't let up enough to allow you to reflect on this.