the arena (1974)

"Why should women have to fight?"
Women from various countries (including Margaret Markov and Pam Grier), are captured and sent to Rome as slaves, but then find themselves fighting as gladiators. Their only way out is to mount a rebellion fight for their freedom.
Bolting together a women-in-prison film with a peplum, but not it a particularly good way.

warrior queen (1987)

"Save me."
A mysterious queen (Sybil Danning), arrives in ancient Pompeii, and whilst gaining the trust of the city leaders such as Clodius (Donald Pleasence), she is tries helping their slaves, but how long can she get away with it, before they being to notice?
Little in the way of plot or action, makes for a poor entertainment.

deathstalker II (1987)

"One rescue a day, that's my policy."
Deathstalker (John Terlesky) teams up with Reena the Seer (Monique Gabrielle) when she reveals that she is actually Princess Evie. She cons him into helping her regain her throne from the evil sorcerer Jarek (John Lazar).
Off on another adventure, this time with a different Deathstalker, this time with more comedy.

deathstalker (1983)

"this just isn't your day is it?"
Deathstalker (Rick Hill) is asked by a deposed king to rescue his daughter from the evil wizard Munkar (Barbi Benton). To do so he has to obtain and unite the three powers of creation, and comes together with some others to do so.
A cut price Conan, with far more sex. From and age when men were men and women were begging for it, (it would seem).

the love witch (2016)

"Men are like children."
Elaine (Samantha Robinson) moves to a new town on the hunt for a new husband, and taking no chances, she uses various spells to do so. Unfortunately these spells work too well, with unforseen circumstances.
With the feel of a 70's b-movie, this languid thriller looks the part, making it a prime candidate for cult entertainment.

terror of the steppes (1964)

aka I predoni della steppa. The Mighty Khan.
"Death is too easy. Let's think up a torture to prolong it."
Sandar Khan (Kirk Morris) kidnaps Princess Samira (Ombretta Colli), but her father kills most of his men when they try to ransom her. What is left of Sandar's people flee, and along the way he and Samira fall for each other, and she is allowed to return to her father, who ships her off to marry another. Sandar is then betrayed by Malina (Moira Orfei),and sold into slavery, before being freed by his friend Kublai (Furio Meniconi). They then lead an uprising to destroy the evil empire, and win his bride.
A film that substitutes Romans for Mongal's, in this otherwise run of the mill peplum.

the giants of thessaly (1960)

aka I giganti della Tessaglia.
"Whenever your eyes are flashing with rage, you're even more beautiful."
Thessaly having been invaded by barbarian's, King Jason (Roland Carey) attempts to placate the gods, by searching for the Golden Fleece. Unfortunately whilst away, his scheming nephew, Adrasto (Alberto Farnese), usurps him and the Queen (Ziva Rodann).
Run of the mill Peplum, adding nothing to the Argonaut myth.

django and sartana... showdown in the west (1970)

aka Django and Sartana Are Coming... It's the End. Arrivano Django e Sartana... è la fine
"He's crazy enough to do anything."
A gang of outlaws lead by Black Burt Keller (Gordon Mitchell) take a woman (Simonetta Vitelli) hostage. So bounty hunter Django (Franco Borelli) and the gunslinger Sartana (Jack Betts) join forces to rescue her.
No Sergio Leone, but a film featuring some fabulously flamboyant deaths. The stunt team earns their money in this one, and a great score.

the flying guillotine (1975)

the flying guillotine (1975) aka Xue di zi
"their kung-fu cannot save them from death."
Ma Teng (Kuan Tai Chen), one of 12 assassins trained in the use of the guillotine, a weapon that can behead victims at a distance, but he soon realises his team are being used to kill dissidents, and becomes a fugitive hunted by his former comrades.
A martial arts film, that is more plot driven than most.

redcon-1 (2018)

"I'm not leaving you!"
A team of elite soldiers, led by Capt Stanton (Oris Erhuero), are sent into a quarantined zone full of zombies, to find a scientist who may have a cure, but things become complicated when they pick up a young girl survivor (Jasmine Mitchell).
A film that tries, but fails to entertain. There are elements of backstory, self-sacrifice, plot twists, and ultra-violence, but most frustratingly, every decision seems to be the result of a fight between team members, (So much for army discipline)! Much of which is played out in front of the young girl, who you really start to feel sorry for.

robocop (2014)

"Why is America so robo-phobic?"
Alex Murphy (Joel Kinnaman), is a good cop working the corrupt streets of 2028 Detroit. When he is critically injured military supplier OmniCorp sees their chance to produce a part-man, part-robot police officer and step in.
Re-make of Paul Verhoeven 80's sci-fi, which adds little to the idea that you shouldn't trust big business and the media, although we now have a new phrase for it, 'fake news'!

suspiria (2018)

"When you dance the dance of another, you make yourself in the image of its creator. You empty yourself so that her work can live within you."
Susie Bannion (Dakota Johnson) is a young dancer who arrives in 70's Berlin dreaming of dancing in the famous Markos dance school, run by Madame Blanc (Tilda Swinton), but she is soon drawn into the black magic world of the three mothers.
Rather than remaking the Dario Argento classic, Guadagnino has chosen to expand the story out, to include the turbulance of 1970's Germany, reflected in muted greys of the Berlin wall. This and the soundtrack by Thom Yorke makes the film something other. A dark, brooding film, not the bright, shock to the system that was the original, and whilst the look, sound and feel of the film initially pulls you in, eventually it pales into insignificance compared to its older more entertaining mother.

the haunting of sharon tate (2019)

"Seriously you guys!"
Sharon Tate (Hilary Duff) returns from Europe heavily pregnant, and awaits the return of her husband Roman Polanski, who promises to arrive before the child does. Meanwhile she moves into the former home of Terry Melcher, with some friends, but starts being hassled by some unknown people, who only later become infamous as the Manson family, who are looking for Terry...
A fictionalised account of the last days of Sharon Tate, turns out to be a cheap slasher exploitation.

kin (2018)

"Just because you are by yourself, doesn't mean you are all alone."
Elijah (Myles Truitt) is a young adopted kid, with a non-conformist streak, heading in the wrong direction, something that his hard but fair father is trying to change. Unfortunately his older brother (Jack Reynor) returns from prison, only to make things worse, leading to them going on the run.
Essentially a coming of age road movie, with a side order of Sci-fi, which doesn't add anything to what is an enjoyable ride.

train to busan (2016)

aka Busanhaeng
"The train can go no further..."
Seok-woo (Yoo Gong) has as daughter (Su-an Kim) who wants to see her mother on her birthday, so they take the train to see her, but as it leaves the station, two people get on, one who seems to be injured, and one can only repeat, 'all dead!'. it soon becomes apparant that there is something very wrong, with the injured passenger and its a battle of survival.
just when you think you've had enough of the Zombies, this comes along and reminds you that there is still some milage in the genre.

fighting elegy (1966)

aka Elegy to Violence.
"You a Jesus freak or something?"
During the 1930s, teenager Kiroku (Hideki Takahashi) is obsessed with Michiko (Junko Asano), but she fains indifference. So he pursues a militaristic training regime to toughen himself up and impress her.
A deep and beautifully shot slapstick style satire on the militaristic attitudes that would lead Japan into WWII.

evilspeak (1981)

"It's the ones that do the most kicking and shoving that get the biggest piece of the pie."
Stanley Coopersmith (Clint Howard), a social misfit, finds an old book of spells belonged to an ex-communicated priest, and uses a computer to translate it. Now armed with the translation Coopersmith bring forth Satan and uses him to ensure his harassers regret their bullying.
An interesting premise is padded out too far before reaching its inevitable climax.

Windbag the Sailor (1936)

"Ooh, fancy - Chelsea won!"
Incompetent Capt. Ben Cutlet (Will Hay), constantly brags about his maritime experience, when in reality all he has done is navigate a coal barge. His bluff is called when a dodgy shipping agent gives him command of an unseaworthy ship with the idea of wrecking it for the insurance.
Assisted by his usual side-kicks Marriot and Moffat, this is a mildly entertaining yarn.

the huggetts abroad (1949)

"It's not what it might be, but it'll do anyway."
The Huggett family decide to travel to South Africa when Jimmy gets a job there, and get caught up in some diamond smuggling along the way.
Run of the mill comedy, enlivened by the appearance of a young Petula Clark, who even gets to sing.

christmas evil (1980)

"I got that schmuck Harry working for me tonight."
As a child Harry (Brandon Maggart) suffers a breakdown when he finds out Santa isn't real, and becomes obsessed with instiling every day with the spirit of Christmas. Finally, bullied at his work in a toy factory, he snaps, and decides to teach the naughty kids a lesson.
Underwhelming, dispite John Waters proclaiming this his favourite Christmas movie.

mary shelley (2017)

"Rid yourself of the words and thoughts of other people Mary.
Mary Wollstonecraft Godwin (Elle Fanning) is a rebelious teen, sent to Scotland to help her clear her head. There she meets the young poet Percy Shelley (Douglas Booth), who turns her head and her life upsidedown. A love story, that brings the young impressionable Mary under the influance of the philandering Shelley, causing her to create Frankenstein.

sherlock holmes and the deadly necklace (1962)

aka Valley of Fear.
"Is he in constant fear for his life?"
Holmes (Christopher Lee) and Watson (Thorley Walters) pit their witts against their nemesis, Professor Moriarity (Hans Söhnker), who is plotting to steal an ancient necklace supposed to have belonged to Cleopatra.
It doesn't take much deduction to realise that this is one of the lesser Holmes movies.

all the way up (1970)

"It's like a lovely dream."
Fred Midway (Warren Mitchell) is an ambitious social climber, determined to achieve promotion at work, but to do so, he has to make his family more socially acceptable.
Packed full of TV comedy stalwarts, this is a run of the mill British film comedy that never looks like it even tries to achieve anything more than mediocre.

rings (2017)

"How come it is always the guy that rescues the girl?"
Julia (Matilda Lutz) becomes worried about her boyfriend, Holt (Alex Roe), after he watches a video that urban legend says will kill you in seven days. She subsequently sacrifices herself to save him, and finds that there is a "movie within the movie" that no one has ever seen before.
Take a Japanese psychological horror, add some Hollywood gloss and spin to it, but in doing so, miss the point.

it should happen to you (1954)

"you sort of give the idea that you are entitled."
Gladys Glover (Judy Holliday) is depressed, having lost her job, and rethinking her life in New York, and bumps into Pete Sheppard (Jack Lemmon), who tries to improve her mood, and inadvertantly gives her the idea to make her name. She decides to rent a billboard and places her name on it, and in doing so sets a chain of events in motion that will change both their lives...
A fine film, that will entertain, but not linger in the memory.