the frightened city (1961)

"Sex is a wonderful thing for business."
Harry Foulcher (Alfred Marks) runs a nightclub, with a sideline in protection. He has Inspector Sayers (John Gregson) on his back and asks Waldo Zhernikov (Herbert Lom) for help. Waldo quickly comes up with a plan to organise the various gangs, and streamline the operation. To keep them in line he pressures small timer Paddy Damion (Sean Connery) to do it. Paddy is reluctant, but has little choice with a crippled friend to care for, and a needy girlfriend.
Well played drama, that never gets too involved in the nitty-gritty underworld of protection racquets.

the naked edge (1961)

"I've made a killing."
George Radcliffe's (Gary Cooper) account of murder, and the theft of £60,000, leads to the conviction of fellow employee Donald Heath (Ray McAnally), despite some doubts including the fact the money was never found. Martha, Radcliffe's wife Martha (Deborah Kerr) then expresses concern as her husband starts investing money she never knew he had in property. Concerns that come back to haunt her when five years later, she sees a blackmail letter, which accuses him of the crime, and it sets her again wondering...where did his money come from, and could the man she loves be a murderer?
Gritty and shadowy cat and mouse drama, played well by its cast, building the tension and suspense towards the climatic finale.

spaced invaders (1990)

"But, Dad, they're not really bad, they're just... stupid."
A small town in Illinois is celebrating Halloween When some aliens land due to engine trouble. As they are bit dim and only 4 feet tall, they have trouble taking over anything, let alone the world, and a group of kids take pity on them. All are getting along, until a nasty killer robot decides to crash the party.
Mildly funny space caper.

meet mr. Lucifer (1953)

"Its television that does it!"
The life of a TV set as it passes through various households, each time causing misery.
Episodic pop at that satanic piece of equipment, the television, increasingly invading households at the time, turning people away from the cinema.

the humanoid (1979)

AKA L'umanoide.
"The humanoid will obey anything we tell him."
The evil Graal (Ivan Rassimov) is trying to overthrow his brother as ruler of the planet Metropolis, and enlists the insane Dr. Kraspin (Arthur Kennedy) to help. He has invented a way of turning people into perfect soldiers, and tests his procedure on Golob (Richard Kiel), creating a Human/robot hybrid. Can the people of Metropolis stop him?
Taking elements of Star Wars, along with other plot devices and props, does not make for a better film.

voyage of the rock aliens (1984)

AKA Attack Of The Aliens.
"Nothing ever happens here."
Liking what they have seen on MYTV, aliens land in a small town and head to the local high school in search of rock and roll. There the head alien (Tom Nolan) falls for Dee Dee (Pia Zadora). Unfortunately she already has a boyfriend, Frankie (Craig Sheffer), and he doesn't take lightly to an alien muscling in on his girl.
Rock N Roll High School, meets Killer Klowns...hoaky and amateurish fun.

escobar: paradise lost (2014)

"It was you, Nick. It was your intervention that got those people killed. You're as guilty as I am."
Fictionalised account of the last days of Pablo Escobar (Benicio Del Toro), intertwined with and told via Nick (Josh Hutcherson), a Canadian who marries Escobars niece (Claudia Traisac), and is drawn into events.
Intriguing drama, that goes some way into showing the charisma that drew many to the cult of personality that Escobar surrounded himself with, but beneath this was a man who would do anything.

carnage park (2016)

"Help me!"
Vivian (Ashley Bell) is kidnapped during the course of a bank robbery, and ends up at carnage park, when the getaway car takes the wrong turn. Unfortunately for all concerned Carnage Park is desolate mid-west scrub-land, and home to a survivalist x-military sniper, who loves to hunt.
What starts as a run of the mill crime drama, soon turns into a neat little horror.

wake in fright (1971)

aka Outback.
"What's the matter with him? He'd rather talk to a woman than drink beer."
School teacher John Grant (Gary Bond) works in the outback of Australia, and dreams of a life in Britain, amid the culture that he so craves. For Christmas he packs his bags to spend the holidays in Sydney, and plan his escape. Unfortunately he has a stop off in The Yabba for a night, and despite his better judgement gets involved in gambling. Inevitably after initially winning, he looses everything and is stranded penniless, but help is at hand, though it only serves to drag him into the crazy, drunk, and violent lives of the men that live there. Can he escape with his sanity intact?
Billed as a horror film, it shows human kind in a brutally realistic and unsettling way. Australian, Horror, Ted Kotcheff,

order of death (1983)

Aka Corrupt. Cop Killer. Cop Killer: Order of Death. l'assassino dei poliziotti.
"You're not a killer! You're a psycho!"
Leo Smith (John Lydon) arrives at the apartment of Lt. O'Connor (Harvey Keitel) and confesses to murdering a New York Policeman. Unfortunately O'Connor is corrupt, and the apartment bought from the proceeds of drug money. Facing being revealed as a bent cop, O'Connor imprisons Smith and they start a deadly game of cat and mouse. Is Smith really the cop killer, or is he just deranged?
Thriller, that has a germ of an idea, but one that is not fully developed.

confessions from the david galaxy affair (1979)

"It was marvelous David."
Astrologer and playboy David Galaxy (Alan Lake) spends his spare time pursuing the female of the species, (inc. Mary Millington, and Diana Dors), but this is interrupted by the police who suspect his involvement in a robbery/murder five years previously and want him to provide an alibi. Unfortunately the one person who can rule him out wont.
Woeful British sex comedy/drama, which has little of either. Watch out for an uncredited Cosey Fanni Tutti of industrial pioneers Throbbing Gristle.

wonderful life (1964)

aka Swingers' Paradise.
"Who will save me?"
Johnnie (Cliff Richard), the Shadows, and some hangers on (including Susan Hampshire, Richard O'Sullivan and Una Stubbs), get involved in a film being made, but soon realise its rubbish, and decide the only way to save it is to secretly film their own version, adding some song and dance numbers.
Pastiches of everything from Civil war movies, to the Marx brothers, pad out this ok romp.

the amorous milkman (1975)

"Hope I didn't hurt your pussy."
Milkman Davey (Brendan Price) encounters numberous bored housewives (inc Julie Ege and Diana Dors) on his route, who all seem to want his attention, which lead him into lots of sticky situations.
Innuendo laden film that treads on the coattails of the successful Confessions films.

northmen: a viking saga (2014)

"Lets get off this coast."
Asbjorn (Tom Hopper) leads a band of Vikings who have become shipwrecked on the shores of Scotland. They stumble on a band of Scots taking Lady Inghean (Charlie Murphy) to her father, and once attacked take her hostage. Unfortunately the king doesn't fancy paying a ransom and decides to send a vicious band on mercenaries to kill her...
Whilst producing nothing remarkable, this is still a well made and entertaining action thriller.

tarzan's three challenges (1963)

"No more!"
Tarzan (Jock Mahoney), bored with Africa, as there is obviously not enough happening there to keep him busy, decides to go to India. There he helps Kashi (Ricky Der), the heir to a kingdom from Khan (Woody Strode) who wants the throne for himself.
A lesser entry into the canon of Ape Man movies, even the cute baby elephant can't save it.

babylon (1980)

"Good for nothing filth!"
Blue (Brinsley Forde) is an mc for a reggae system in Brixton, whose life unravels, as he tries to hold it together in the face of racism and poverty.
Low budget and gritty drama shines a light on the rage that would explode the year after in the Brixton riots.

dr jekyll and mr hyde (1941)

"Can this be evil?"
Dr. Jekyll (Spencer Tracy) has a theory that man is two people and sets about experimenting on himself to reveal his darker side, Mr. Hyde. His soon to be father-in-law Sir Charles Emery (Donald Crisp) disapproves of such experiments, but once Jekyll encounters Ivy Peterson (Ingrid Bergman), Mr Hyde is not long in appearing.
Less of a horror, more of a psychological drama about sexual repression.

the acid eaters (1968)

"Hello honey, you got some room for some sex starved females?"
Friday evening, and a group of office workers down tools and head out into the countryside in search of the White Pyramid, take drugs, and generally have a good time...
Sex, drugs and rock and roll, exploitation style, i.e. on the cheap, with loooongg shots of bikers riding around to a generic surf soundtrack, and making out with topless go-go dancer types. The most shocking thing in this film, is the actors total disregard to littering!

old mother riley (1937)

"My motto is, never let your right hand know that you are left handed."
A wealthy businessman leaves his fortune to his family, but only on the stipulation that they take in the first person they see selling matches. Inevitably that person is Old Mother Riley (Arthur Lucan), and soon she and her daughter (Kitty McShane) are proving most unwelcome in the house. Until they help the family out when they turn detective and find the person stealing the family jewels...
First in a long running series of comedies, but one that have not stood the test of time.

the girl on the boat (1962)

"What impressed you most about her?"
Eustace Hignett (Richard Briers) is foiled in his plan to marry Billie Bennett (Millicent Martin), whilst in New York, and sets off back to England on a liner with his best friend Sam Marlowe (Norman Wisdom). He immediately takes to his cabin with sea sickness, not knowing that Billie is also on board and that Sam has also fallen for her.
Annoying social farce with added slapstick.

nuits rouge (1974)

aka Shadowman. L'homme sans visage.
"The treasure of the templers."
Shadowman (Jacques Champreux), a thief disguised by a red mask, and his cat-suited assistant (Gayle Hunnicutt), hunt for the treasure hoarded by the secret sect of Knight Templars in Paris.
Stylish, but uneven thriller.

the salvage gang (1958)

"So that's how it happened."
A gang of kids end up trying to make some cash to pay for a saw they have ruined, but are thwarted at every turn.
Frustrating comedy, but one that gives you a view of post-war London and the damage that had been inflicted.

let's go crazy (1951)

"At least the film will have a happy ending."
A short feature set in a nightclub in order to feature a number of variety acts and comedy sketches written by and featuring multiple appearances of Peter Sellers and Spike Milligan.
Unfortunately this manages to showcase all that was unfunny in British music-hall at the time, only enlivened by spotting the various appearances of Sellers.

paul temple's triumph (1950)

"How did you know that we were here?"
Paul Temple (John Bentley) and his wife Steve (Dinah Sheridan) are a husband-and-wife detective team, who start investigating when a friend is murdered, whilst looking into a missing scientist, and come up against a sinister crime organization headed by the mysterious "Z".
Bentley and Sheridan make for a fine duo in this breezy mystery thriller.

salome's last dance (1988)

"Let the play commence."
Oscar Wilde (Nickolas Grace) gets a surprise when he visits a brothel, as he finds them staging a the premiere of his play "Salome".
Russell explores this classic play in his patented bawdy style.

downtown (1975)

Aka Down Town. DownTown: Die nackten Puppen der Unterwelt.
Cynthia (Lina Romay) hires private detective Al Pereira (Jesús Franco) to take compromising photos of her husband, and finds himself declared the prime suspect in the man's subsequent murder.
Franco throws everything into this cheesy and ponderous ode to a particular part of Lina Romay's body!

sinner: the secret diary of a nymphomaniac (1973)

AKA Le journal intime d'une nymphomane.
"They say that love makes the world go round, and all is fair in love and war."
Linda Vargas (Montserrat Prous) picks up Ortiz (Manuel Pereiro) in the bar where she works, and after seducing him, kills herself. He is immediately arrested, and it looks bad, as he is covered in her blood and holding the knife she killed herself with. So it is up to his wife, Rosa (Jacqueline Laurent) to investigate the death, and she soon learns of Linda's tragic decent into sex and drugs following her sexual assault by Ortiz as a young girl.
An interesting concept turned into a lackluster tale of depravity.

Celestine, Maid at Your Service (1974)

AKA Célestine... bonne à tout faire.
"Oh!".
Celestine (Lina Ronay) escapes from the brothel, and becomes a maid, which thrives idyllic family life. But soon Celestine start to give way to their sexual attraction to the new maid.
Bawdy and unfunny sex comedy.

the price of wisdom (1935)

"She has what doctors call night athletics."
Mary Temple (Mary Jerrold) is a precocious young woman determined to get ahead in business. But her plans are interrupted when Alfred Blake (Robert Rendel) sweeps her off her feet and takes her to London. Things are going well until she meets Peter North (Roger Livesey), who has invented a new chemical process. She agrees to fund its development, but Alfred doesn't take kindly to her new partnership...
Breezy romantic drama, that doesn't quite spark to life, but flickers occasionally.

penny points to paradise (1951)

aka Double or Quits.
"You had an accident."
Harry Flakers (Harry Secomebe) wins £100,000 on the pools and goes on his annual holiday to Brighton with best pal (Spike Milligan). There they are immediately beset by counterfeiting conmen...
The Goons (Spike Milligan, Harry Secombe and Peter Sellars) come together to make their first and not particularly great film together.

gordon's war (1973)

"You cats are crazy."
Gordon (Paul Winfield) returns from a four year stint in 'Nam to find his Harlem neighbourhood is now rife with drugs. So he does what any self respecting vet would do, sets up a vigilante gang to take down the people responsible...
A run of the mill Blacksploitation, notable only for being Grace Jones first on screen performance.

20 questions murder mystery (1950)

The doctor and the police say it was suicide!"
A Fleet Street newsman, Bob Beacham (Robert Beatty), sniffs out a story after listening to an anonymous question on a radio gameshow. He links the question to a subsequent series of murders, whilst the killer taunts him through questions sent to the show. Complicating matters is fellow journalist Mary Game (Rona Anderson) who is also chasing the story, and is often one step ahead of Bob.
Interesting story with a nice interplay between Robert Beatty and Rona Anderson.

the burning (1967)

aka Island Of The Burning Damned. Night Of The Big Heat.
"This heat is stifling."
The island of Fara is baking in a heatwave, which is disturbing as the rest of Britain sits in the depths of winter snow. No one seems to know what is the cause, apart from a visting scientist, who theorises that it is aliens...
Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing guest star in this low budget thriller.

Behemoth the seamonster (1959)

aka The Giant Behemoth.
"Something has happened here that isn't in the book."
Radioactive waste dumped at sea brings back a dinosaur with a desire to visit London, but the would be tourist isn't welcome, probably because he seems intent on wrecking the place.
Good b-movie creature feature, as long as you revel in its low budget.

high-rise (2015)

"How's the high life?"
Dr Laing (Tom Hiddleston) moves into an apartment in a tower block, and starts to become involved in the lives of those around him, including the architect who lives in the penthouse, who explains he is using the building as a social experiment.
Surreal, if disjointed, investigation into the class system, invoking thoughts of Bunuel, Kubrick and Cronenberg.

doctor, you've got to be kidding (1967)

"I'm trying to knock the stuffing out of a stuffed shirt."
Heather (Sandra Dee) has a stage mother (Celeste Holm) who pushes her to be the lead singer in a band. Her boss, Harlan (George Hamilton), is the one man who seems not to like her, and thinks she has an average voice. So obviously he is the one man she wants to impress.
Full of retro charm, but little else.

off the dole (1935)

"It's the funniest thing I know."
A workshy lad (George Forby) is given a job in his uncles detective agency, bringing him into many a funny situation,
A film that stumbles from one musical act to another, with no decernable plot...if you like second rate musical acts, then you are in for a treat.

lucy (2014)

"To knowledge."
Lucy (Scarlett Johansson), gets caught up with an Asian gang hoping to market a new synthetic drug, and force her to become a drug mule, but when the synthetic drug bursts in her stomach, it unlocks her untapped potential, allowing her to turn the tables on her tormentors, but she only has a finite time to do so.
Talking of untapped potential...this is a great example of what could have been...

victor frankenstein (2015)

"I give you life.".
Igor (Daniel Radcliffe) is rescued from a cruel existence in a circus, transformed and turned into the assistant of Victor Frankenstein (James McAvoy). He is quickly drawn into research that he soon realises is one step too far, and a murder investigation run by the God fearing Inspector Turpin (Andrew Scott).
Modernist twist on the tale, delving into the true monster, as seen through the eyes of his assistant Igor, that has its moments, but never fires on all cylinders.

the night we dropped a clanger (1959)

aka Make Mine A Double.
"Good luck.".
Wing Commander Blenkinsop (Brian Rix) is sent on a secret mission to France. To put the Germans off the scent a double of the Commander is sent to Egypt. Unfortunately everyone gets confused about who is who...with slightly comedic results.
A comedy that lacks one vital ingredient, any laughs.

private's progress (1956)

"Here, that'll do."
Hapless Stanley Windrush (Ian Carmichael) is called up in the draft during WWII, and is set on a short and undistinguished career until his conniving uncle (Dennis Price), a Brigadier with the War Office, involves him in a secret operation to recover looted artworks from the Nazis, and 'liberate' them for himself.
Carmichael is at his inept best in this otherwise standard comedy.

orders are orders (1954)

"you'd break the heart of a taxi driver."
An army camp is being used as a location by Hollywood director Ed Waggermeyer (Sid James), and the soldiers, including Peter Sellers and Tony Hancock are loving being involved. Unfortunately the camp Commander (Raymond Huntley) is less keen...
Basic and unmemorable.

last holiday (1950)

"just live for pleasure."
Salesman George Bird (Alex Guinness) learns he is terminally ill. So with months to live, he cashes in his savings and moves into a luxury hotel to live it up. There he meets a variety of people, and starts to get involved in their lives, and his luck finally seems to change, just when he cannot take advantage of it.
Melancholic social comedy, with a finely nuanced performance from Guinness.

pride and prejudice and zombies (2016)

"Thank you, but I will amuse myself with a book."
Elizabeth Bennett (Lily James) and her four sisters live in the refined world of upper class 19th Century Hertfordshire. Unfortunately their idyll is spoiled by the presence of zombies, but Elizabeth's fight with the undead is but a backdrop to her dance around her love for Mr Darcy (Sam Riley).
The refined romantic drama is wrapped around an entertaining zombie thriller.

ragnarok: the viking apocalypse (2013)

aka Gåten Ragnarok.
"I've spent six years searching for this."
Sigurd (Pål Sverre Hagen) is an archaeologist determined to unravel a mystic puzzle, prove that the Oseberg vikings had visited Finland, and reveal the real meaning of Ragnarok. So he up sticks with his two children and discovers more than just treasure.
A well made adventure that slips occasionally into horror.

the broken horseshoe (1953)

"Now listen carefully."
Dr Fenton (Robert Beatty) visits the home of a patient he has operated on, but who has not turned up for a subsequent check up. Inevitably the Dr stumbles into a murder scene, and tells the beautiful Dalia (Elizabeth Sellars), who wants him to delay telling the police, but why?
A competent drama with a good cast.

dr crippin (1962)

aka Doctor Crippen.
"I'm not ill."
A dramatised version of Dr Crippin's life and what drew him to become a killer.
Donald Pleasence is suitably restrained as the murderous doc who poisoned his wife (Coral Browne) and fled with his mistress, Ethel Le Neve (Samantha Eggar).

what we do in the shadows (2014)

"This is what happens when you are a vampire. You have to watch everyone die."
A film crew follows four flat mates in their daily lives and squabbles. Only these flat mates just happen to be vampires.
An entertaining pseudo documentary, that loads up on the comedy, rather than the horror.

tread softly (1952)

"To be or not to be."
A theatre production is thrown into chaos when the star of the show Madeleine Peters (Francis Day) walks out at the last minute. Forced to find a new star, they pick Tangye Ward (Patricia Dainton), out of the chorus and things start looking up as they find a new theatre, but then they find out that it is supposedly haunted...
A passable thriller becomes muddled up with a 30's style romantic musical.

the big job (1965)

"Fantastic, isn't it. You can't trust anyone."
George The Brain (Sid James), and his gang of bank robbers have recently been released, after a long stretch. They immediately set about collecting the money they had stashed away, but unfortunately for them, the tree it is hidden in is in the backyard of a Police Station...
Forgettable slapstick, that has been done countless times before.