danger by my side (1963)

AKA Danger On My Side.
"What do you want to take me for? I had nothing to do with it!"
Lynne (Maureen Connell) sees her brother (an undercover detective) killed and is determined to find the culprits. He had been frequenting a Soho nightclub called Nicky's, so she does what any self respecting grieving sister would do, that's right she gets a job there and ends up uncovering a diamond smuggling ring.
A standard Butchers film, a bit of cut price glamour, (Courtesy of Sonya Cordeau), and some rough and ready gangsters. Routine, with no real lifer, but it passes the time entertainingly enough, just don't expect anything above the ordinary.

i married a monster from outer space (1958)

"You're not really listening to me."
Bill Farrell (Tom Tryon) marries Marge Bradley (Gloria Talbott) and from the start he seems different to her somehow. A year into the marriage and Marge is worried that she hasn't conceived yet, but Bill doesn't want to see the doctor. Meanwhile other men of the town seem to be changing, becoming less emotional. Could it be that aliens are taking over humans one by one, and if so how does Marge get people to believe her and how does she stop them?
A classic sci-fi of the commie witch-hunt/enemy within variety so prevalent in the 50's.

targets (1968)

aka Before I Die.
"Hardly ever missed, did I?"
The film starts with elderly horror film star Byron Orlok (Boris Karloff) announcing to his agent that he is retiring. All try to persuade him to reconsider whilst he makes one last personal appearance at a drive-in. Meanwhile a young Vietnam veteran, who looks every bit like the clean cut all American boy, Bobby (Tim O'Kelly) plans out his revenge on the world using his skills as a snipper. Both these worlds are set to collide at the drive-in.
Peter Bogdanovich's debut feature is an accomplished piece of work using the then recent Charles Whitman shootings at the University of Texas as the basis for this fiction.

phase IV (1974)

"Ordinary ants of different species were doing things that ants don't do: meeting, communicating - apparently making decisions."
Dr. Ernest Hubbs (Nigel Davenport) notices that ants in the desert have started communicating, and co-operating. To observe this phenonenom closer he sets up a research station in the Arizona desert with another scientist (Michael Murphy). They try to fathom the ants motivation but too late come to realise that the ants collective mentality has become a very real threat to not only the life of other desert animals but to themselves as well.
Saul Bass concocts an intreging mix of sci-fi thriller and art house movie. It moves slowly as we follow the cat and mouse games between the scientists and the ants, but Bass maintains the film as a compelling watch. Even if I didn't fully understand the ending!

the devil doll (1936)

aka The Witch of Timbuctoo.
"Look at me and see what seventeen years in the grave has done to me. No, Radin, without my hatred I never could have lived to exhume myself. What swine you three are!"
Paul Lavond (Lionel Barrymore), escapes prison with a scientist. Once ensconced in their swamp hide-out the scientist unveils his research, a method of reducing living creatures in height, until they are but centremetres high. When the scientist dies, Lavond takes the methods to Paris, and soon wreaks vengeance on the three men that framed him. The men know he is coming for them, but they are on the look out for Paul Lavond, not Madame Mandelip, toy manufacturer.
A wonderful and classic early horror, where Barrymore and Browning combine to make a thrilling horror. Maureen O'Sullivan adds fire and a sub-plot as Lavond's daughter, who blames her father for her reduced circumstances.

red planet mars (1952)

"Lenin dreamt of having the world in his hands..."
Chris Cronyn (Peter Graves) and his wife Linda (Andrea King), are scientists who receive signals possibly from intelligent life on Mars. The messages tell of Mars as a paradise, and begin to quote biblical passages. People start to believe that they could be messages from God. This sparks a religious revival across the world. But are the messages genuine, or a way of fermenting unrest in the world by Communist insurgents?
A commie bashing propaganda film, from the cold war, which is of interest only if you want to see at first hand the paranoia of that age.

suburbia (1984)

aka Rebel Streets. The Wild Side.
"Give 'em the muzak."
Evan (Bill Coyne), decides to leave home following one to many arguments with his mother. He finds himself running with a loose knit bunch of punks living in a squat on the edge of LA, as they have to contend with disinterested parents, red-neck vigilanties and the local feral dogs.
Penelope Spheeris explores the sub-culture of the LA punk scene using real punk bands, (such as TSOL), and people from the scene to give it authentisity. Not for everyone, but if you have a passing interest in the music or the punk scene of the 80's this is required viewing.

up the junction (1968)

"She's been a scrubber all her life that one..."
Poor little rich girl, Polly (Suzy Kendall), swaps the good life of Chelsea for what she sees as the romance of the working class existence in Battersea. She finds friends (Maureen Lipman and Adrienne Posta), and romance (Dennis Waterman) but it comes at a price. The colourful life of the street turns out not to be all that romantic.
Based on the novel by Nell Dunn and the BBC play, this addresses some of the social issues of the day, including back street abortionists. Well scripted and played, we come to like the people involved before we get caught up in their domestic lives. This also gives a good flavour of the era.

the raven (1935)

"Your monstrous ugliness breeds monstrous hatred. Good! I can use your hate."
An eccentric neurological surgeon Dr. Vollin (Bela Lugosi), with an obsession for Edgar Allen Poe, is pursuaded to operate on a young woman Jean (Irene Ware), brain damaged in a car wreck. Vollin becomes obsessed with her and plans to kidnap her and torture her fiance and father in a dungeon a la Poe. Obviously he cannot do this himself so turns a wanted criminal (Boris Karloff) into a deformed monster to make him conform to his will and carry out his plan.
Lugosi gives a suitably malicious performance in this classic early horror. Well worth seeking out.

bikini beach (1964)

"Baby, I think we associate with a very unstable group."
The teens easy life on the beach is interrupted by the arrival of the English pop star The Potato Bug (played by Frankie Avalon). Dee Dee (Annette Funicello) obviously falls for the Bugs charms, which leads to the usual spiteful Avalon performance as the attempts to put the Bug down and win Dee Dee back. Meanwhile a millionaire is trying to prove that his chimp Clyde is more intelligent than the teens. Add in some Von Zipper (Harvey Lembeck) action, Big Drag (Don Rickles) and a brief appearance from Little Stevie Wonder.
Another episode in the beach franchise sees the gang taking on the British pop invasion, modern art and drag racing. An OK addition to the series, but you could see the end in sight - how Frankie has the nerve to call the Potato Bug square, whilst holding onto the greaser look is a bit pot calling the kettle black!

white zombie (1932)

"Your driver believed he saw dead men... walking."
A young couple Madeleine (Madge Bellamy) and Neil (John Harron) are convinced by new acquaintance Charles Beaumont (Robert Frazer) to get married in his mansion on Haiti. Unfortunately, Beaumont is in love with Madeleine and intends to seduce her. In order to do so he visits Murder Legendre (Bela Lugosi), the local witch doctor, who gives him a potion to transform Madeleine into a zombie. The marriage goes without a hitch, but soon after Madeleine mysteriously dies. Whilst Beaumont and Legendre fight over who will take possession of her, missionary Dr. Bruner (Joseph Cawthorn) is convinced that she might still be alive.
A low budget horror that made millions when first released. A fascinating early horror, which is essentially a silent movie. with minimal dialogue.

revenge of the drunken master (1984)

"you couldn't break a piece of straw."
The Blood Ninja gang are out to kill the drunken master. His mischievous student (Johnny Chan) gets caught up in the plot and proceeds to fight against them, helped and hindered in equal measure by a policeman who is determined to arrest drunken kid for misuse of acupuncture!
Following on from the success of Drunken Master, we get a watered down version, this time with Jackie Chan obviously unavailable we get a 'chanlite', who does a passable impression, in this passable martial arts fest. The bizarre thing is the sub plot between the policeman and a woman whom he first rescues, then rapes! She then tags along behind him, infatuated and getting in his way?!?A feminist treat this ain't!

dr cyclops (1940)

"Strange how absorbed man has been in the size of things!"
Dr Thorkel (Albert Dekker) is a mad scientist who lures a number of doctors to his South American jungle laboratory. Once he gets their opinion on some specimens he tells them they can return home, much to the scientists annoyance. When they start poking around, Thorkel warns them, but will they listen? Of course not and Thorkel decides to cut them down to size, in his own way!
A fun b-movie, full of over sized hazards for the shrunken cast. Directed with verve by the man who brought us King Kong.

basket case (1982)

"There's something I've been dying to ask you. What's in the basket? "
Duane (Kevin Vanhentenryck) comes to New York city looking for some doctors who operated on him when he was a boy. He carries a wicker basket with him wherever he goes. But what's in the basket and why is he so keen on seeing the doctors?
An obviously low budget film, which uses imagination to get around the limitations, to make a wonderfully inventive horror. This chucks in everything but the kitchen sink, from comedy to gore.

let the right one in (2009)

aka Låt den rätte komma in.
"Oskar: Are you really twelve? Eli: Yes. It's just I've been twelve for a very long time."
Oskar (Kåre Hedebrant) a bullied 12-year-old boy who finds friendship with Eli (Lina Leandersson), the young girl who has just moved in next door. Becoming infatuated he finds out she is a vampire and their friendship develops in to love, and leads to revenge.
A beautifully constructed coming-of-age story with a slow, quiet, unsensational approach, that draws you into the blackly comic tale.

paranoiac (1963)

"I saw Tony"
Tony Ashby a 15 year old boy seemingly commits suicide, jumping to his death into the sea, but his body is never found. Fast forward eight years and he reappears, or rather someone calling himself Tony arrives. Some of the family are hostile, whilst Simon (Oliver Reed) seems to be more open minded, but is obviously still troubled by events eight years previously. Is this man really Tony, and is Simon trying to send his sister Eleanor (Janette Scott) mad so he can inherit the family fortune?
A psychological thriller from the house of Hammer, that develops slowly into a sophisticated shocker, with many a twist and Reed doing his usual evil psycho act.

phantom of the opera (1962)

"I am going to teach you to sing, Christine. I am going to give you a new voice!"
A fated new opera opens, but has a run of bad luck, ending in the death of a stage hand during a performance. Then a promising young singer Christine Charles (Heather Sears) disappears. The producer (Edward de Souza) goes in seach and discovers a mystery surrounding the authorship of the opera. Could it be that it was not written by Lord Ambrose D'Arcy (Michael Gough), who claims it as his, but the missing presumed dead Prof Petrie (Herbert Lom)? And could Petrie be behind all the bad luck plaguing the performance?
Hammer takes another tried and tested classic and give it their own take, changing the location and much of the story. This version plays up the phantom character as a man pushed to the limit by an unscrupulous man, and a man who we see in a sympathetic way, playing down the horror for pathos.

big trouble in little china (1986)

"Son of a bitch must pay."
Trucker Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) witnesses the kidnap of a friends fiancee and decides to help Wang (Dennis Dun) rescue her, along with Gracie Law (Kim Cattrall), amongst others. Unfortunately for all concerned she has been taken by David LoPan (James Hong) an immortal sorcerer, who with the Three Storms, terrorises Chinatown. LoPan has a plan to marry a woman with Jade green eyes, which will enable him to regain his youthful form.
A fine mix of martial arts, Chinese magic and a straight up action thriller, centered around the all American hero of Jack Burton, who little realises what he's getting into. A comedy thriller chock full of one liners and action.

the ghoul (1933)

"If this should leave me, you'll have reason to fear, for when the full moon strikes the door of my tomb, I will come back."
Professor Morlant (Boris Karloff) has obtained an ancient jewel, 'the eternal light', believing it has mystic powers to aid re-incarnation, and soon he will find out whether his faith is justified, as he is dying. To this end he commands that the jewel be bandaged to his hand and his body be entombed in an Egyptian style cave on his estate. But once dead his tomb is defiled, the jewel stolen and Mordent rises to seek revenge!
An atmospheric thriller, the film has fun leading us down various paths as we look to find out who is it that stole the jewel and caused the ghoul to rise? Though slow, there is much to admire in this. From the wonderfully gothic cinematography, through to the intricate soundtrack, especially for 1933. Topped off with some terrific acting from such as Karloff and Ralph Richardson.

house on haunted hill (1959)

"Darling, the only ghoul in the house is you!"
Millionaire Fredrick Loren (Vincent Price) and his estranged wife Annabelle (Carol Ohmart), invite five people to stay overnight at a haunted house, for a party with a difference. Each guest has been offered $10,000 if they spend a night in house. Each is desperate for the money and determined to see the night through, but will they be able to last out?
Castle throws everything but the kitchen sink at this in his attempt to give the viewer some thrills. A great little horror that hurtles along, giving the viewer little time to take stock. A classic and prime example of how to use atmosphere to ramp up the chills.

paid to kill (1954)

aka Five Days.
"I don't know where you'll do it, or how you'll do it, but you'll do it."
James Nevill (Dane Clark) is a thrusting young head of a successful British company. Then a failed business deal forces him and the company to the brink of bankruptcy. He hits on a scheme to blackmail a susceptible friend (Paul Carpenter) into murdering him so his wife (Cecile Chevreau) can collect his life insurance. But then a deal comes off and Nevill has to try and contact and convince his friend not to go through with the contract.
This plot demands a rather large suspension of disbelief, but given that, if you do, then this becomes a nice little noir with a nice twist in the tale.

the glass tomb (1955)

aka The Glass Cage.
"It takes very little to make people happy these days - only money."
'Pel' (John Ireland) is a carnival barker who comes up with a new scheme to make some money. Backed by bookie Tony Lewis (Sid James), he persuades professional faster Sapolio (Eric Pohlmann), to try and to break his world record of 65 days without food. Pel then builds a glass cage where the paying public can view the event. All looks good, but when Sapolio throws a party a woman in an apartment upstairs is murdered. Tony is suspected when it is revealed that he was the girl's ex-boyfriend and she was trying to blackmail him. Then it's revealed that Sapolio may have glimpsed the murderer. This obviously marks him out as a target for the real killer.
Another of Hammers quota quickie, this one being for the most part a run of the mill noir, due in part to the fact that we know the killer from the off, which takes much of the suspense out of the equasion.

to the devil a daughter (1976)

Aka Child of Satan.
"It is not heresy, and I will not recant!"
John Verney (Richard Widmark) is an American novelist who specialises in the occult. On a book tour in London he inadvertantly gets drawn into a battle to save the life (and soul) of Catherine Beddows (Natassja Kinski). Catherine has been brought up as a nun within a supposed Catholic sect. But the cult is actually run by Father Rayner (Christopher Lee), an excommunicated priest, who is using Catherine to create an earthly apperition of the demon Astaroth.
Hammer's second attempt to bring a Dennis Wheatley novels to the screen. Whilst Wheatley is on record expressing dislike for the film, as do many Hammer film fans, I enjoyed it. Yes the script has holes and isn't the greatest, but it trots along at an agreeable pace, with some great set piece scenes. All held together with some fine acting from the principles. Not as bad as many would have you believe.

demons of the mind (1972)

aka Blood Evil. Blood Will Have Blood. Nightmare of Terror.
"...destroy the evil in my blood..."
Girls are disappearing in a remote area of Bavaria and the locals believe that a demon is responsible. But is it all in the mind of Baron Zorn (Robert Hardy), a tortured man, who keeps his two children (Shane Briant and Gillian Hills), locked up, isolated and separated from each other and the world. Their every attempt to escape thwarted by their aunt Hilda (Yvonne Mitchell). And with the Baron ignoring the family doctor (Patrick Magee) and his attempts to help.
A thoughtful horror, full of suspense, as it delves beneath the seemingly placid and well mannered exterior to reveal interbreeding and insanity, based on irrational fear. Hammer often attempted psychological thrillers, but they were often ignored for the more familiar Gothic horrors that made their name. Which is a shame as many of these are the equal if not superior to the much more obvious Frankenstein and Dracula sequels. This one is for those who like full on gore, and over acting in period costume!

the land that time forgot (1975)

aka Edgar Rice Burroughs' The Land That Time Forgot.
"If God wills it we will live our lives out here."
Its World War I, and a German U-boat sinks a British ship and takes onboard the survivors, including Bowen Tyler (Doug McClure). The prisoners immediately set about disrupting the U-boats antics, causing it to end up in Antarctica and discovering the lost land of Caprona. Once there they soon realise that they aren't in Kansas anymore when attacked by dinosaurs and neanderthals.
An entertaining and underrated film. Look beyond the low rent script and the less than perfect special effects and you have a great Saturday morning adventure.

the people that time forgot (1977)

"I always wanted to play the hero."
Following on from The Land That Time Forgot. Major Ben McBride (Patric Wayne) leads an expedition to Antarctica to locate his friend Tyler (Doug McClure), who went missing there several years earlier. When their plane is attacked by a pterodactyl McBride's group realise they have stumbled into a primitive world of dinosaurs and cavemen. Can Tyler really still be alive and can McBride find him? Their chances of doing so soon look up when they rescue Ajor (Dana Gillespie), a cave girl who happens to speak English!
A true boys own adventure with a slim plot, that just about holds your attention, mainly due to the presence of Dana Gillespie and Sarah Douglas. Cheap but cheerful!

angel heart (1987)

"I know who I am!"
Its post war America and Harry Angel (Mickey Rourke), is a private investigator hired by the mysterious Louis Cyphre (Robert De Niro) on a missing persons case. Cyphre wants Angel to track down a singer called Johnny Favorite who disappeared a number of years earlier. Angel's search takes him down some dark paths and into the world of witchcraft and voodoo, guided in part by Epiphany (Lisa Bonet). Something tells me that Angel won't like where he's going.
A would be film noir, that you've probably already figured out, but sometimes its all in the journey, rather than the arrival that counts, and this film is a case in point. An enjoyable entertainment, steeped in atmosphere.

watchmen (2009)

"This city is afraid of me. I have seen its true face."
Its 1985, in a US that won the Vietnam war due to their not so secret weapon, Dr Manhatten (Billy Crudup), a scientist who due to a nuclear accident has developed into a superhuman collossus capable of bending the laws of physics. Dr Manhatten was a member of an disbanded organisation of costumed superheroes, called the Watchmen and we follow the various members as they come back together to investigate the violent murder of The Comedian (Jeffrey Dean Morgan). Could the murder be in any way connected to the mounting tension between the US and Russia, that threatens to explode into nuclear annialation.
An incredibly dark and twisted graphic novel is straightened out and thinned down to make an interesting film, full of great action sequences. Some will quibble with the adaption, but its actually a good version of what many considered an unfilmable story. Its not Alan Moores Watchmen, but its still a complex and beautifully atmospheric and realised world.

them! (1954)

"We may be witnesses to a Biblical prophecy come true: 'And there shall be destruction and darkness come upon creation and the beast shall reign over the earth'."
Police Sgt. Ben Peterson (James Whitmore) finds a young girl alone in the desert apparently unharmed but in shock. Then they find an abandoned and wrecked trailer. Determined to find out what happened he teams up with FBI Agent Robert Graham (James Arness) and two doctors from the Department of Agriculture, Harold Medford (Edmund Gwenn) and his daughter Pat (Joan Weldon).
Classic example of the post war atomic paranoia picture which cleverly never overplays its hand, drawing you into the mystery before revealing who or rather what is happening.

fear in the night (1972)

aka Dynasty of Fear. Honeymoon of Fear.
"You're safe now."
Peggy Heller (Judy Geeson) is a young woman who joins her husband at the boarding school where he works. They hope that the quiet of the countryside will help her recovering from a nervous breakdown she suffered after being assaulted. Once there she starts to be plagued with the fear that she is being attacked by a one armed man, attacks that she maintains are real but no one else believes. Prefering to put it down to nightmares, symptoms of her reported mental health problems. Problems that are not helped when she meets the headmaster Michael Carmichael (Peter Cushing), who happens to only have one arm!
Another suspenseful thriller from Hammer. This begins slowly and throws in a number of twists to try and out fox the viewer, but for all that the film never really grabs the attention fully.

straight on till morning (1972)

Dressed for Death. The Victim. Til Dawn Do Us Part.
"You're not very beautiful either are you?"
Shy and plain looking Brenda Thompson (Rita Tushingham) leaves Liverpool for London. Things start to look up for her when she finds a job in a trendy boutique and moves in with the outgoing and beautiful Caroline (Katya Wyeth). But its not to be, lonely and miserable, crying out for attention, she resorts to kidnapping a young man's dog in order to get to know him. Peter (Shane Briant), is a beautiful toyboy for rich socialites, and for some reason is taken by Brenda. Possibly because they both live fantasy lives in their heads and are prone to making up children's stories. There is only one problem, he's a psychopath! Do they have a chance, or will his murderous secret get out?
An unusual undertaking for Hammer, being a thriller rather than an out and out horror. Collinson directs with a visual and sonic flare, cutting across scenes, adding a speed to what is a slowly developing story and ramps up the tension as Brenda is drawn into Peter's web.

the vengeance of she (1968)

aka She, the Avenger. Ayesha, Daughter of She. Ayesha, the Return of She.
"I can give you time. I can give you immortality."
Carol (Olinka Berova), a mysterious and beautiful woman intrigues Philip (Edward Judd), who follows her when she takes off into the desert, seemingly driven to venture further into the arid zone. Has she been taken over by the troubled spirit of Queen Ayesha and being drawn to the lost city of Kuma, the eternal flame and Killikrates (John Richardson)?
A sequel to Hammer's She, which basicially just switches the sex of the immortal. Once they arrive at the lost city things pick up and we have an entertaining adventure, but unfortunately we have to endure a slow paced thirty minutes of Carol writhing in agony with visions, before the journey starts. This only serves to bog the film down before it really gets going.

the viking queen (1967)

"Death to the Romans! Come On!"
Salina (Carita), honours her father's dying wish to become Queen of the Iceni, and to share her throne with Justinian (Don Murray), a Roman. This annoys the Druids on one side and some of the hardcore Romans on the other. Soon the couple find themselves in the middle of a war, each on opposite sides despite their growing love for each other.
A film, that can never claim to be an epic, but is enjoyable nonsense in a peplum type way. Mind you don't look too closely, there are no vikings, and the Druids seem to worship Zeus!

the witches (1966)

aka The Devil's Own.
"After the blow be struck, give me the skin for dancing in."
Gwen (Joan Fontaine) an English teacher in Africa who tangles with the local witch doctor, and suffers a nervous breakdown. Back in England she takes a post at a school in a small village, run by Alan Bax (Alec McCowen) and his sister Stephanie (Kay Walsh). But soon she starts witnessing strange events, and begins to suspect she is surrounded by witchcraft and the coven has selected one of her students for sacrifice.
Adapted by Nigel Kneale from a novel The Devil's Own, the film manages to lack the suspence and unease necessary to make this an effective horror. But saying that it still manages to maintain the viewers interest as a solid low key thriller.

this night i'll posess your corpse (1967)

aka Esta Noite Encarnarei no Teu Cadáver. This Night Will Make Your Corpse Incarnate. Tonight I Will Eat Your Corpse. Tonight I Will Enter Your Corpse. Tonight I Will Make Your Corpse Turn Red. Tonight I Will Paint in Flesh Colour. "There's the most perfect creation of nature: children! Pity that they grow up to become idiots. In search of nothing. Lost in a Labyrinth of egoism."
The continuing story of Coffin Joe and his search for the perfect woman with which to continue his bloodline. Zé (José Marins) terrorises the town, having survived the attack in the previous film, aided by Bruno the hunchback (Nivaldo Lima).
More death and mayhem, this time with Joe getting to see hell, in all its saturated colour glory. This is a director pushing his characters, story and the viewers further over the edge, in a good way. The cinema of the bizarre, just got weirder.

prehistoric women (1967)

aka Slave Girls.
"You are my slaves!"
David Marchand (Michael Lattimer), is on safari in Africa when he is captured by a tribe intent on sacrificing him to their god. However before they can do so he is catapulted back in time and finds a land where brunette women rule, using blondes as their slaves. Fortunately for him Queen Kari (Martine Beswick) takes a shine to him, but he rejects her for a blond slave, Saria (Edina Ronay). This doesn't go down well with the queen and leads to the inevitable cat fight. meanwhile can David end the evil reign of the Queen, and also find his way back to his own time?
A bizarre mix of sci-fi and prehistoric adventure that tries to re-capture the success of One Million Years BC. Unfortunatly neither Beswick or Ronay are a match for Raquel Welsh, and this remake of an earlier 1950's film proved to be a dud. But taken as a precursor to the Doug McClure featuring Amicus productions, such as The Land That Time Forgot, it makes much more sense. An entertaining enough boys own romp, as long as you ignore the plot holes in the lackluster script.

the bloodsucker leads the dance (1975)

aka La sanguisuga conduce la danza. Il marchio di satana. The Leaches Lead the Dance. The Mark of Satan. The Passion of Evelyn.
"We aren't the castle type, and besides that Count, he's very peculiar."
A count visits a troop of actors (eight women and a very camp man), and invites them to his island castle. Once there, a madman starts offing the women one by one, but who is behind the killing, and can they be stopped?
A ghastly over-lit and overlong, (everything happens at half speed - it's like watching though treacle), excuse to show a few naked women. It purports to be a vampire film, but quickly turns into a whodunit when the killing starts. At least the period costumes look good!

the devil rides out (1968)

aka The Devil's Bride.
"I won't be back, but something will be..."
On discovering an old friend Simon (Patrick Mower) has become involved with a Satanist cult, the Duc of Richeleau (Christopher Lee) and Rex (Leon Greene) kidnap him and try to protect him from the vengeance of the cult leader Mocata (Charles Gray). Along the way they also try to help Tanith (Nike Arrighi), another rather prettier initiate than Simon.
Thus Hammer takes its first steps into the world of Dennis Wheatley and comes up with this fine adaption. Lee proves to be an athletic hero, countering the marvelously evil Gray, as the film builds to the inevitable final set piece battle. A boys own struggle of good against evil.

at midnight i'll take your soul (1964)

aka À Meia-Noite Levarei Sua Alma.
"Is your life worth living if you can't bear a child and continue your bloodline?"
Zé or Coffin Joe (José Marins) is the local undertaker who is searching for his ideal woman, to bear him a child and continue his name. One fact stops him, he is already married to an infertile woman! He soon solves this, by introducing her to a poisonous spider. From here Coffin Joe lives up to his name, bringing death and mayhem wherever he goes.
The first appearance of Coffin Joe is a memorable one. A man with no morals or scruples, whose very existance seems to be to rail against God and societies mores. He takes what he wants, when he wants it, at whatever cost, and if he can inflict torture on someone as he passes by, then all the better. Thus Marins brings forth a wonderfully amoral character, and uses him as the centre of this cheap, but effectively moody and gory shocker.

dust devil (1992)

"There is magic all around us."
A serial killer (Robert John Burke) walks out of the desert and across Namibia, taking victims as he goes. Along his journey he meets Wendy (Chelsea Field), who has just broken up with her husband. Her only hope seems to be a local policeman (Zakes Mokae) who is trying to track the killer using a shaman, but can he stop the 'dust devil' before he completes his task?
A mix of murder, mystery, superstition and witchcraft goes into this hauntingly disturbing film. It looks visually stunning, but is let down by the far too languid pacing. It takes far too long for you to catch on to what is happening and I'm sure many will have lost interest before the film has a chance to grab people's attention. That said it is worth sticking with as it does get interesting, and sucks you in.

the dead and the deadly (1982)

aka Ren xia ren.
"an impotent rooster brings bad luck in cases like this."
Fatboy (Samo Hung), is an accident prone kung-fu student, who likes practical jokes. He works for his uncle (Lam Ching-Ying), the local Taoist priest, and is oblivious to his girlfriend's attentions (Cherie Chung). Things tick along for Fatboy until the body of his friend Lun Chio (Wu Ma) is brought to the village by his heavily pregnant wife and her mysterious brother. Fatboy suspects his friend was murdered as Lun Chio was impotent. Little does he know that Lun Chio is not actually dead, but faking to get access to some treasure. Cue the comedy as Fatboy tries to assertain how Lun Chio died.
Basically an excuse for lots of Samo Hung's patented wackiness, with a little action thrown in to mix things up a bit. A good example of a supernatural slap-stick comedy, some of it extremely low brow, but it does feature some wonderful martial arts fights. Not to everyone's taste but it entertained me.

viking women and the sea serpent (1957)

aka The Saga of the Viking Women and Their Voyage to the Waters of the Great Sea Serpent. Undersea Monster. Viking Women. The Saga of the Viking.
"All they can do is kill me, or make a slave of me."
A village of Viking women, determine to locate their missing men, who have not returned from a foraging trip. Led by Desir (Abby Dalton), they undertake a perilous journey across seas full of monsters. They eventually stumble on their men being held captive by the barbarian Grimolts. Unfortunately they are also soon captured and have to figure out how to free themselves and the men.
The usual low budget quickie made by Corman. Cheap effects and even cheaper acting, enlivened by Susan Cabot who gives another of her devious performances as the high priestess, determined that Desir should have an 'accident'. Expect vikings that look more like Californian surfers and sea serpents made of rubber. Also expect an enjoyable little adventure.

halloween (1978)

aka John Carpenter's Halloween.
"He came home."
The film opens on halloween 1963 and the police finds Judith Myers stabbed to death, murdered by her 6 year-old brother. Cut to 15 years later, and Myers has escaped from the institution he was confined to. His physciatrist Dr. Loomis (Donald Pleasence) arrives at the Myers house, convinced Michael will come back. Meanwhile local babysitter Laurie (Jamie Lee Curtis) has an uneasy feeling that she is being watched and followed.
The film that brought the slasher genre to prominence and inspired a whole slew of teen killers. Carpenter keeps the tension building towards the faitful night, when all hell breaks loose. A classic and masterclass in how to do it. From the deft use of shadows, keeping us from truely seeing the evil that lurks, false frights and most of all keeping it all subtle and understated. Making the eventual horror all the more frightening. No blood, no gore, just a sense of unease and shock.

the sorcerers (1967)

"Where were you last night?"
Professor Mounserrat (Boris Karloff) and his wife Estelle (Catherine Lacey) are an elderly couple who have developed a technique to control other people's minds through a form of hypnotism. This allows them to feel the sensations the subject feels, allowing them to live vicariously through the subject. Their latest victim is a hip young arrogant thing about town Mike Roscoe (Ian Ogilvy). The couple force him to go further and further in pursuit of pleasure. But when Estelle takes control and forces Mike into murder, the Professor realises he has to stop his wife, but how?
A low budget horror, effectively directed by the up and coming Michael Reeves, who unfortunately died before fulfilling his potential. The budget forced the makers to concentrate on the melodrama of the piece, rather than flashy set pieces, which is all to the good.

rock n roll cop (1994)

aka Saang Gong yat ho tung chap faan.
"We can beat them only if we join forces."
Hung (Anthony Wong) is a lone wolf plainclothes policeman. He is assigned to go into mainland China and hook up with the local police in order to track down a crazed killer (Yu Rong Guang) and his gang. Can he and the tough, no nonesense mainland cop Wang (Wu Xing-Guo) get over their differences long enough to catch the killer.
A gritty, almost none stop action fest using the staple of many a film, the miss-matched partnership. The film breezes along, hitting a lull in the middle, when it tries for some emotional depth, but soon remembers we are here for the action and away we go again, with hardly a chance to draw breath.

police story III - super cop (1992)

aka Jing cha gu shi III: Chao ji jing cha. Supercop.
"It's a sin to let anything go to waste." (said as they dump a woman's body into a shark pool)
Police Inspector Chan Ka-Kui (Jackie Chan), is assigned to take part in an Interpol operation on mainland China. The Interpol director, Jessica Yang (Michelle Yeoh), tells him the assignment is to target the drug lord Chaibat. Ka-Kui, posing as a petty criminal is jailed and infiltrates the gang by helping one of its top men to escape. They travel to Hong Kong and he gains Chaibat's trust, getting involved in some drug smuggling. But things get complicated when Ka-Kui's girlfriend spots him whilst undercover and inadvertently gives the game away.
Another in the successful Police Story series, gives us exactly what we expect, glamourous locations and lots of comedy and action.

play it cool (1962)

"It seems a shame to go without doing the twist."
Billy Universe (Billy Fury) is an up and coming singer, with a motley band in tow, including one member who looks about 10! He gets involved with a poor little rich girl, who is going out with pop star, and all round nasty piece of work Larry Grainger (Maurice Kaufmann). Sir Charles (Dennis Price) her father is trying to split them up, and rightly so. Will Billy get involved, or continue to believe it is none of his business.
Along the way he manages to sing at the drop of a hat, and we get turns from a number of other stars such as Helen Shapiro, Bobby Vee, Shane Fenton (or Alvin Stardust as he became), and Danny Williams. Plus appearances from many of the great and the good of the time such as Norrie Paramor.
This film is carried totally by whether you like Billy fury or not, given that there is very little plot, and pitifully little in the way of what would normally be called acting. This is really a standard pop music exploitation piece directed with all the flair that journeyman director Winner can muster, which is not a lot. But even with all that said, Billy's star quality still shines through. An enjoyable piece of pre-Beatles pop.

teenage caveman (1958)

aka Out of the Darkness. Prehistoric World.
"A Law is truth to itself. We must find a new Law."
The titular caveman (Robert Vaughan), complete with bearskin outfit and brylcreamed hair, starts to question the laws of his clan. This obviously leads to trouble, but he's a rebel and determined to improve their lot in the world, but this brings some shocking truths.
A bizarre little teen movie uses the usual staples, including a leading man who was way past being a teenager, and lizards dressed up as dinosaurs. But this one packs an unusual anti-militarist twist in the ending. Fun to watch because of the basic absurdity of the script, the acting, and the obviously 20th century actors who couldn't look less like cavemen if they tried.

a chinese ghost story II (1990)

aka Sien nui yau wan II yan gaan do.
"I'll die with the one I love."
Ning (Leslie Cheung) is on the run after being mistaken for a bandit, and is befriended by a wandering Taoist Autumn (Jacky Cheung), who fights demons. They are attacked by some rebel warriors and Ning falls for one of their number, Windy (Joey Wong) who just happens to look like the ghost Siusin, who he fell for in the first installment. Autumn explains they are fighting the evil general and Ning tags along fascinated by Windy's resemblance to Siusin. They are determined to rescue her father who is held captive by the general, but in doing so they have to battle more than just men.
An extremely entertaining fantasy horror, which is almost the equal of its first installment. The film is an energetic and breathtaking run through various myths, legends. With incredulous monsters and evil spirits which the team must defeat, thrown in for good measure. The sometimes now cheesy effects only serve to add to the whole chaotic enjoyment.

payroll (1961)

aka I Promised to Pay.
"your payroll is as safe with us as it is in the bank."
A gang headed by Johnny (Michael Craig), plan and execute an armed robbery on an armoured car. From the off there are cracks between them, cracks that splinter when their carefully laid plans go wrong. They manage to make off with the loot, but only at the expense of two dead, one of the gang and the van driver. From then on they not only have to keep ahead of the police, but also have to contend with the driver's wife (Billie Whitelaw), who is after revenge.
A wonderfully gritty British crime caper, with a suitable big band soundtrack. It plays along with the standard crime film formula's, (right down to the use of a Jaguar as the getaway car), but uses them to good effect. The initial exhilaration of the robbery, gives way to viciousness and brutality, then nerve jingling tension as the gang quickly fall apart. Add some great performances especially from Whitelaw, Craig and Tom Bell (as a hot headed gang member), and a playful script, and you have an entertaining crime caper that will more than fill that 90 minute gap in your life.