arabian nights (1974)

AKA The Flower of 1001 Nights. Il fiore delle mille e una notte.
"Oh My!"
Set in ancient Arabia, the main story follows Nur Ed Din (Franco Merli) as he tries to find the beautiful slave girl Zumurrud (Ines Pellegrini).
Filmed on location and featuring many local actors this is an episodic and sexually explicit retelling of a handful of Oriental tales.

red sonja (2025)

"She is stronger than any of us."
Red Sonja (Matilda Lutz) is a warrior in search for her tribe, having watched them being butchered as a child. But then she is captured by the maniacal Draygan (Robert Sheehan) and sent to fight as a gladiator...
If you come to this with no knowledge of its comic-book back story you will probably still be disapointed as it unravels its predictable story. But it could have been worse.

ilsa, harem keeper of the oil sheiks (1976)

"The man that comes to me will not have to be dragged."
Ilsa (Dyanne Thorne) has moved on from the third reich, and is now head of a sex-trafficking ring for a middle eastern sheikh (Jerry Delony). But trouble comes in the form of American diplomat (Max Thayer), who is intent on overthrowing the sheik's corrupt government
The second installment of the Ilsa series, ups the campy dialogue to the sleaze.

vampire ecstacy (1974)

AKA Der Fluch der schwarzen Schwestern. The Devil's Plaything.
"Perhaps we should leave this place."
Dr Julia Malenkow () and her brother are studying the local superstitions of the area when invited to stay at Varga castle and find it to be the centre the worship of Dania Varga (Nadia Henkowa), an ancient vampire.
Sophorific acting and film pacing do nothing to add to the field of entertainment in this film.

frankenstein (2025)

"You may be my creator, but from this day forward, I will be your master."
An ice bound ship, with it's crew working desperately to free it, find a man half dead on the pack ice, mauled by a mighty beast. Once aboard the ship and the beast consined to the icy depths the man tells his story. Of his desire to please an unforgiving father, to creating a monster. Or is he the monster?
Told in flashback, initially from the point of view of the scientist Victor Frankenstein (Oscar Isaac), but then more tellingly from the mind of the creature (Jacob Elordi). Del Toro sticks roughly to the original tale and needs the creatures pathos to ground this intreging tale told well using visual flashes of colour in a muted palette to carve out this gothic classic.

caligula's hot nights (1977)

AKA Le calde notti di Caligola
"Professor!"
Emperor Caligula (Carlo Colombo) has a serious problem as his libedo is not up to it and he has to find a way to prove his virility...
A bawdy Italian comedy, with little in the way of laughs or entertainment.

two roses and a golden rod (1969)

AKA Naked Under Satin. Ménage à trois.
"If I was a candle I would burn at both ends."
Mother (Elizabeth Knowles) and daughter (Ami Paisley) fight for the affection of the mother's husband, and whilst the daughter has incestious thoughts the mother is looking for affection elsewhere.
Boardering on the edge of 'so bad it's good' with the continuous inner monologues from the various participants as the tip-toe around the morales of 60's America.

tender loving care (1973)

"Right now I have to go on duty."
Donna Young (Karen Jordan) joins the nursing staff of a hospital and soon gets into the swing of things. But the course of true love never runs smooth, especially when one of the nurses starts raiding the drugs cabinet.
The lives and loves of three nurses that spends no time skipping straight to the nudity.

times square (1980)

"I'm playing shite huh!"
Two girls with mental issues become runaways. One is Nicky (Robin Johnson) a streetwise New York hard case, the other shy middle class Pamela (Trini Alvarado), but with only each other in the big bad city they bond and form a punk band. Enter hip radio DJ (Tim Curry) who sees the chance of a good story.
A patchy but often fascinating affair, that shows a precise moment in time for the city and it is packing a great soundtrack.

castle of the living dead (1964)

AKA Il castello dei morti vivi
"My suspicions about the Count were confirmed"
In the aftermath of the Napoleonic Wars a troupe of theatrical performers (including Gaia Germani) are invited by Count Drago (Christopher Lee) to his castle. But once there the actors become increasingly uneasy by the counts actions...
Christopher Lee gives a menacing performance in this slight Italian horror. Watch for Donald Sutherland's film debut.

man who cried for revenge (1968)

AKA Il suo nome gridava vendetta
"Why don't you put the pieces together?" Davy Flanagan (Anthony Steffen) is an amnesiac following an injury that happened during the Civil War. Then one day when he is recognized by a bounty hunter, who believes him to be a wanted man and tries to take him in for the reward, but is shot by Flanagan. In doing so Flanagan realises he has a talent as a gunslinger and is determined to find out about his past. Is he really a murderous desserter or an innocent man?
A story with promise that just doesn't deliver.

the 47 ronin (1941)

AKA Genroku chûshingura
"Samurai should be judged by the samurai code."
After their lord assaults the official Lord Kira, he is forced to commit seppuku and his clan is disbanded. Subsequently Forty-seven of his samurai vow to avenge his death by killing Kira who they blame for the feud.
This is a long and slow re-telling of a famous Japanese tale, with very little action and one that omits to talk about the cause of the feud, concentrating instead on period detail and extoling the samurai code of honour.

high and low (1963)

AKA Tengoku to jigoku
"You're a fool to pay, but pay you must."
An executive of a Yokohama shoe company becomes a victim of extortion when his chauffeur's son is kidnapped by mistake and held for ransom. Wealthy businessman Kingo Gondô (Toshirô Mifune) is about to conclue a huge business deal using all his money. But then he is told that his son is being held for ransom, and is determined to pay. The twist comes when his son is discovered still at home and that the kidnapper has mistakenly taken his chauffeur's son. This leaves Kingo in a moral dilemma. Does he do the right thing or now his son is safe gamble on the police finding the driver's son and keep the money for his business?
An amazing piece of cinema that goes beyond the film noir crime drama tropes as it ramps up the tension and the moral questions.

sanjuro (1962)

AKA Tsubaki Sanjûrô
""
An itinerant ronin (Toshirô Mifune) can't help himself when he begrudgingly comes to the aid of a gang of young samouri who are trying to help a relative who is being framed and imprisoned by a corrupt government official.
Sanjuro returns from his turn in yojimbo, in an indirect sequel which is a touch more light hearted, but still as masterful.

yojimbo (1961)

AKA Yôjinbô
"I'll get paid for killing, and this town is full of people who deserve to die."
A town divided by two criminal gangs is happened upon by an itinerant ronin Sanjuro (Toshirô Mifune) and he decides to play them off against each other. Though things don't necessarily go to plan...
Another masterful piece of cinema by Kurosawa, with it being another of his works adapted by western cinema, in this case Leoni's Fistful of Dollars.

the hidden fortress (1958)

AKA Kakushi-toride no san-akunin
Two peasants are trying to escape back to their homeland after their time in a feudal Shogan's army comes to an end. Their plan is picked up by the defeated army's general (Toshirô Mifune) as a way for them to unwittingly escort the princess and a sizable amount of gold across enemy lines.
The two escapees are often likened to the later robot characters in the Star Wars series of films, providing a large amount of comic relief to the already ingenius story.

seven samurai (1954)

aka Shichinin no samurai
"By protecting others, you save yourselves."
Farmers in fuedal Japan decide enough is enough after a raid by bandits takes all their crops. So they decide to hire a veteran samurai (Takashi Shimura) for protection. Taking pity on them he gathers six other samurai to join him, (including Toshirô Mifune).
A film with a classic reputation, bolstered by many homages made following it from The Magnificent Seven through to Battle Beyond The Stars.

rashomon (1950)

"It's human nature to lie."
A bridal party is traveling through fuedal and waylaid. The bride is raped and the husband murdered. Subsiquently captured the trial hears three different versions of that day's events as recalled by an outlaw, the bride, the samurai's ghost and a woodcutter.
subjective truth is on trial as much as the bandit in this masterful piece of cinema.

the men who tread on the tiger's tails (1945)

Aka Tora no o o fumu otoko-tachi
"It was an unforgivable inpiety..."
In the 12th Century Lord Yoshitsune Minamoto returns to Kyoto after winning a decisive sea battle. Unfortunately his jealous brother orders his arrest and, Yoshitsune and six of his loyal samurai retainers are forced to escape. To reach safety they need to travel incognito as Monks, with the Lord disguised as alowly porter, and attempt to pass through an enemy check point at the border.
Made in 1945 this painful allegory on Japan's condition at the end of World War Two was held back until 1952 before being released. Although short this is none the less a fascinating look at the laws and mores of feudal Japan.

strip poker (1968)

AKA The Big Switch. "Take your shirt off!"
John Carter (Sebastian Breaks) is a playboy implicated in the murder of a blonde he had picked up on a night out. He is subsequently pressured by gangland boss Mendez (Derek Aylward) to go to Brighton, to do a job for him...
Marvel at how the director can crowbar female nudity into the most mundane of scenario's in this uninteresting would be thriller.

troll 2 (2025)

"Have you found something else?"
Nora Tidemann (Ine Marie Wilmann) is again recruited to help out Andreas Isaksen (Kim Falck) when he reveals that the Govt has found another Troll. This time he is hibernating, but what will happen if he wakes up?
More of the same, with a similar plot of the team puzzling out how to stop a rampaging troll. If you were entertained by the first film, then you should be happy enough with this new installment.

troll (2022)

"You do know that there's some truth to every fairytale."
Norwegan road builders are tunneling through a mountain range when they disturb an ancient creature. Could it be in fact a troll? Paleontologist Nora Tidemann (Ine Marie Wilmann) is brought in to give her assessment and soon realises that maybe the storybooks were true!
Yes we've seen this all before, and its not a patch on Troll Hunters, but it is a fun watch. So cut the carping and just let it entertain you.

the stone tape (1972)

"What I want for Christmas is for you to go away."
An audio research team convenes in a Victorian house in an attempt to find a new recording format. But things start to go off tack when Jill Greeley (Jane Asher) witnesses a ghost and the director Peter Brock (Michael Bryant) decides to record the apparition but also to exorcise it...
A made for TV horror by Nigel Kneale that came up with some genuine scares

the painted bird (2019)

AKA Nabarvené ptáce
"You're not from here are you?"
A young boy Joska (Petr Kotlár) suffers many trauma's as he travels across an indeterminate Slavic country during its occupation by Germany.
Based on the novel by Václav Marhoul this is an extremely dark tale making it a compelling but difficult watch.

naked as nature intended (1961)

"Nobody who looked like that ever gave me a lump of sugar."
Three young women, including Pamela Green tour the delights of South-West England and are introduced into naturism.
What was an early foray into nudie cuties by Markx, is viewed today as more of a delightful tourist film. Due to it being made in colour and restricting the nudism to the last few minutes of the film. Surely this was the basis of the spoof nudism film shown in Carry on Camping?

klokkenluider (2022)

"Don't tell him you told me!"
Ewan, a government whistleblower, and Silke, his Flemish wife are hidding out in a rural rental house waiting for a journalist (Olivia Coleman) to arrive so they can tell their story. Meanwhile they are joined by two protection officers, and cannot help but argue and reveal secrets as the officers also bicker.
Tightly driven talky.

baron blood (1972)

AKA Gli orrori del castello di Norimberga
"If he were really to come back he would be a monster."
Peter Kleist (Antonio Cantafora) travels to his ancestral castle in Austria to researh notorious "Baron Blood" a renowned sadist who was reputedly cursed by a witch he had burned to death. At the castle Peter meets Eva (Elke Sommer) who is helping with renovations and they stupidly read an incantation which is supposed to bring the Baron back to life! Following their reading murders start occurring and the castle is subsequently sold to millionare Alfred Becker (Joseph Cotton). But why does he want it and who is the serial killer?
An evocative gothic horror, from a horror master, but this somehow lacks something.

the vourdalak (2023)

"It was unbearable."
A French envoy (Kacey Mottet Klein) is waylaid whilst travelling in the Balkans. Lost and alone he is advised to seek out Gorcha who will be able to help him. On arrival at Gorcha's house he finds he has left a note with his family stating that has gone to fight the turkish bandits and if he returns after 6 days he is to be considered a Vourdalak! As expected Gorcha is found collapsed...minutes after the 6 days has expired!
Based on Tolstoy's gothic novel this is a stylish and atmospheric tale, reminding me of the Italian horrors of the 60's.

meet simon cherry (1949)

"I never look for trouble."
Cheerful Rev Simon Cherry (Hugh Moxey) ends up at a manor house when his car breaks down in the countryside. Whilst there the reclusive invalid daughter of the lady of the house Lisa ( Zena Marshall) is found dead. Murder is suspected, so the Rev starts asking questions and a tale of love and deceit is revealed...
Likable film that owes much to its radio series origins as it's very talky.

the wildcats of st trinian's (1980)

"I demand my pupils back!"
The pupils of St. Trinian's have decided they want to form a union so they can strike. Flash Harry (Joe Melia) advises them that they need to consolidate with other schools by infiltrating them...
Fifth installment of the St Trinian's films and one that is forgotten for a reason despite a plethera of well known names packing out the cast.

billy the kid versus dracula (1966)

"The marks of a vampire are on her throat."
Dracula (John Carradine) is traveling across the American Old West when he sees a picture of the young and beautiful Elizabeth (Melinda Plowman) and is determined to make her his vampire bride. Unfortunately for him Her fiance is Billy the Kid (Chuck Courtney), now going straight as a ranch foreman.
A bright and breezy film that plays extremely fast and loose with all genre tropes, with rubber bats and hokey dialogue.

the menu (2022)

"This is an exclusive experience!"
Tyler (Nicholas Hoult) invites Margot (Anya Taylor-Joy) to eat at an exclusive restaurant on a remote island. The reknowned chef (Ralph Fiennes) has prepared a lavish menu, but the evening rapidly starts to unravel...But why is the chef so interested in Margot?
A satire on the preciousness of fine dining takes a delicious turn into physical horror.

the dunwich horror (1970)

"My you scare easily. "
The charming Wilbur Whateley (Dean Stockwell) visits Arkham Miskatonic University to study the Necronomicon and captivates, (or should that be bewitches), student Nancy Wagner (Sandra Dee) in the process.
Based on an HP Lovecraft story subfusing it with a level of underlying menace.

night of the creeps (1986)

"What is this? A homicide, or a bad B-movie?"
A fratboy (Ken Heron) is infected by an alien in 1959 and subsequently frozen. Cut to 1986 and two geeks (Steve Marshall and Jason Lively) accidentally revive the body which promptly starts to infect the campus students with parasites transforming them into zombies and leading Detective Ray Cameron (Tom Atkins) a merry dance.
A fun comedy/horror teen-flick to double bill with the Return of the Living Dead.

zontar: the thing from venus (1967)

"We are all puzzled and just a little bit afraid."
Zontar hitches a ride to Earth and with the aid of science nerd Keith Ritchie (Anthony Houston) and once here starts to take over various humans in a hideous attempt to take over the world! Can scientist Dr. Curt Taylor (John Agar) stop Zontar from taking over the world?
A remake of Roger Corman's "It Conquered the World" (1956) and its not an improvement!

tender flesh (1997)

AKA Boccato Di Cardinale
"You two will be our hunting hounds."
Paula (Amber Newman) becomes an exotic dancer in a private club and attracts the attention of a a rich patron (Lina Romay) who invite her, her boyfriend and a few others (including Monique Parent) to spend a few days with them on her private island. But once there Paula finds all is not as she was led to believe...
An S and M take on The Most Dangerous Game that lacks any thrills!

virus (1980)

AKA Fukkatsu no hi
"The United States had no particular monopoly on idiots."
A US military engineered virus is unleashed upon the world to devastating effect, an international mix of scientists and military personnel gather in Antarctica to desperately try to find a cure to save themselves and what is left of the human population. But as with everything complications arise...
Entertaining view on human nature as long as you view the full length (Japanese version?).

war of the monsters (1966)

AKA Gamera vs. Barugon, Daikaijū kettō: Gamera tai Barugon, Great Monster Duel: Gamera vs. Barugon
"The lives of all our people will be in danger.
After a brief introduction to Gamera we are transported to a remote island where a small group are hunting an opal stashed in a forbidden cave. Upon retrieval one of the gang betrays the others stranding one of the gang on the island. There an islander tell's the stranded man that their opal is not really a jewel and they have to retrieve it! But they are too late as a lizard, Barugon, hatches and sets about destroying Kobe and in turn attracting Gamera...
This creature feature was bought by AIP who Americanised it for television, presenting a monster not as compelling as Godzilla, but with a nice crime drama sub-plot.

st. martin's lane (1938)

AKA Sidewalks of London
"who does this lovely world belong to, eh?"
Charles (Charles Laughton) is the head of a troop of buskers who spots pickpocket Libby Vivien Leigh and takes her under his wing. He trains her up and falls for her, but recognises that she is well out of his league. Then along comes theatrical composer Harley (Rex Harrison) who spots her charms along her talent.
Laughton and Leigh excell in this forgotten gem.

Samurai III: Duel at Ganryu Island(1956)

AKA Miyamoto Musashi kanketsu-hen: Kettô Ganryû-jima.
"How long must he remain a ronin?"
Musashi Miyamoto (Toshirō Mifune) returns to the farming life and finds contentment, but continues to be plagued by women problems as Otsu (Kaoru Yachigusa) and Akemi (Mariko Okada) vie for his attention. All whilst he must also contend with his nemesis, Kojiro Sasaki (Kōji Tsuruta).
The third and final film continues the journey of the famous Japanese swordsman Miyamoto Musashi leading to a set piece finale.

samurai II: duel at ichijoji temple (1955)

AKA Zoku Miyamoto Musashi: Ichijô-ji no kettô
"My heart has chosen the way of the sword."
Musashi (Toshirô Mifune) is spending his time fighting duels as the lives of his old friends whirl around him and he waits to fight the samarai master Sasaki (Kōji Tsuruta).
Continuing the lifestory of the famous Japanese swordsman, Miyamoto Musashi and now the characters are all established the story can now ramp up the action whilst the master swordsman tries to find inner peace.

samurai I: musashi miyamoto

AKA Miyamoto Musashi
"We left home thinking we could become samurai so easily. What a dream."
Takezo (Toshirô Mifune) is convinced by his friend Matahachi (Rentarō Mikuni) to run away to become samurai, dreaming of the glamourous life it promises. Matahachi leaves his betrothed Otsu (Kaoru Yachigusa) with not even a backward glance and eventually runs off with a bandits wife. Meanwhile Takezo returns to the village but is by now a wanted man. Eventually he is convinced by a Buddhist priest to give himself up and the priest sets in motion his plan...
The first in a trilogy of films loosely based on the life of the famous Japanese swordsman Miyamoto Musashi, and tells a tale of love and loss.

the two faces of dr jeykll (1960)

"You vile disgusting degenerate!"
Dr. Henry Jekyll (Paul Massie) proposes that inside every human is two personalities, a theory dismissed by his colleagues. So he sets out to prove it. Tied up in his work he doesn't seem to notice his wife (Dawn Addams) is having an affair with his louche friend Paul Allen (Christopher Lee). But then Jekyll finds a formula that transforms him into the confident and handsome Edward Hyde who sets out to enjoy the sordid nightlife of London...
A well worn tale told with some panache.

uprising (2024)

"I cannot go on this way any longer." AKA Jeon, Ran
Set during the Joseon Dynasty, a nobleman's son is given a slave to take his punishments for him, as no noble can be marked. They somehow develop a bond, especially when Jong-ryeo (Park Jeong-min) is discovered to have an aptitude for martial arts and it is decided he tutor Cheon-young (Gang Dong-won) and even takes the entrance exams for military school for his now friend. But only if he is made a freeman. Unfortunately he is betrayed and thus develops a vicious feud that fans a slave revolt.
An engaging tale of betrayal and class divides.

shark (1969)

"We are going to be one big happy family" Caine (Burt Reynolds), a smalltime gunrunner, ends up stuck in a Sudanese coastal town. Desperate for money he takes on a job piloting a boat exploring a sunken ship in the shark-infested waters and spots an opportunity...
A very average thriller.

the devil's hand (1961)

"They play with evil like its some kind of new toy."
AKA Witchcraft.
Rick (Robert Alda) is plagued by nightmares about a beautiful blonde woman. Then one day he spots her likeness in a shop window, along with a doll that is the image of his fiancé Donna (Ariadne Welter). With help of the shop owner Rick manages to track down the woman (Linda Christian) who convinces him to join a sect that worships the diabolic Camba...
A campy horror that being short doesn't out stay its welcome.

the paper gallows (1950)

"It's not my fault!"
AKA Torment
Brothers (John Bentley and Dermot Walsh) tussle for the affections of their secretary Joan (Rona Anderson). Joan seems to prefer Jim, as she pals around with him as they try and find out who killed the family cat. Surely it couldn't be the moody Cliff?
Melodramatic crime drama featuring much overwraught talking into the distance rather than to the people involved!

the four skulls of Jonathan drake (1959)

"Kenneth Drake you have paid for the evil of your ancestors."
Anthropologist Jonathan Drake (Eduard Franz) believes that his family has been cursed by a tribe of South American Indians. A theory reinforced when Drake's brother is found dead, a shrunken head hanging near the body!
An entertaining and in turns creepy shocker despite its budgetary limitations.

texas chainsaw massacre: the next generation (1994)

"I want these people to know the meaning of horror!"
Prom night and a gang of teenagers (inc Renee Zellweger) get into a car crash in rural Texas. Stranded and with an injured driver they look for help and come across an old farmhouse, but its far from the help they are looking for... that is home to Leatherface (Robert Jacks) and his insane family of cannibalistic psychopaths.
This was never going to live up to its Predecessor but the prescense of Matthew McConaughey and Renee Zellweger adds interest to this video slasher.

the texas chain saw massacre (1974)

"those girls don't wanna go messin' 'round no old house!"
Five friends travelling in rural Texas have the misfortune to stumble upon a rather peculiar family...
A classic of modern horror cinema that birthed the template for the slasher genre whilst giving nightmares to whole generations.