home and away (1956)

"I've done it!"
George Knowles (Jack Warner) wins the pools, but whilst they celebrate, his son returns and reveals that it is him and his best mate that have actually won.
Less a comedy than an endurance marathon, with some of the characters grating.

final appointment (1954)

aka The Last Appointment.
"Not my trouble, yours!"
Reporting duo Mike Billings & Jenny Drew (John Bentley & Eleanor Summerfield) investigate a series of unsolved murders and find they are linked to a court-martial case during the war, and set out to protect the last of those involved.
A well paced and efficient detective story.

lake placid 2 (2007)

"What do you think, a 40 foot croc is going to get me?"
The alligator is back, and terrorizing a small New England community. Meanwhile Sheriff James Riley (John Schneider) is being tortured by Fish and Wildlife officer Emma Warner (Sarah Lafleur).
A sequel that seems to have forgotten much of what happened in the first installment! Like the lake being home to a 40 foot gator!

emergency (1962)

"Mummy's coming darling."
A young girl is a victim of a road accident and in dire need of a blood transfusion. Unfortunately she as a rare type and only three people have the same blood. One is a famous footballer, one an atomic scientist on the run for spying, and finally a murderer awaiting execution.
Fraught melodrama, or it wants to be.

ong bak 3 (2010)

aka Ong Bak 3: The Final Battle.
"This rebel will recieve thirteen punishments."
The mighty Tien (Tony Jaa), a mighty Muay Thai Warrior is captured, tortured and left for dead by the evil tyrant Lord Rajaseena. Beaten beyond any recognition, Tian is revived by some villagers and a mystical ritual, and ready for the final battle.
Continuing where ep 2 left off, this is an epic tale, with some epic moves.

the woman in question (1950)

aka Five Angles On Murder.
"Seems funny that he should be so careless about his movements last night."
Astra (Jean Kent) is murdered and the police set about interviewing the five suspects including Bob Baker (Dirk Bogarde), and each paint a different portrait of the doomed fortune teller.
Interesting character study, that treads a similar path to Rashamon.

dead snow 2 (2014)

aka Dead Snow 2: Red Vs Dead. Død snø 2.
"Please don't hurt me. I have two kittens."
Martin (Vegar Hoel) finds himself still on the run from the Nazi zombies that eat his friends in Dead Snow. And furthermore the police don't believe a word of his tale of zombie Nazi's for some reason and brand him a killer. In desperation he goes on the run and enlists the help of the Zombie Squad, and a platoon of dead Russians...
A sequel that ups the gore as well as the laughs.

st trinians 2: the legend of fritton's golf (2009)

"They're back!"
The girl's school are back, but desperate for money, and on learning that the headmistress, Miss Fritton (Rupert Everett) is related to a famous pirate, they go on the hunt for his buried treasure. Unfortunately Lord Pomfrey (David Tennent) and his misogynistic secret society are also after it...
When you thought the first remake was bad, along comes this one to make it look like a masterpiece.

port of escape (1956)

"I saw a murder."
Mitchell & Dinty (John McCallum & Bill Kerr) are sailors docked in London. Unfortunately Dinty is mugged, and when Mitchell comes to his aid the mugger is killed during the ensuing struggle. As is normal in these cases, someone sees just enough to come to the wrong conclusion. In this case, Annie (Googie Withers) sees enough to believe Mitchell is a murderer. Mitchell sees her leave the scene, and pursues her to a boat she lives on with two others, and they take the women hostage as Mitchell tries to persuade them that he acted in self defense.
Claustrophobic drama, that is too convoluted to truly convince.

albert r.n. (1953)

aka Break For Freedom. The Spare Man.
"Poor old Albert."
Albert R. N. is a dummy used to fool the German prison guards, when a prisoner of war escapes, but is there an informer in the camp, and will they reveal their plans?
Classic escape film, mirroring real life events.

the end of the road (1954)

"I didn't ask for anything."
After 50 years working in a factory, Mick-Mack (Finlay Currie) is forced into retirement. Unhappy, he searches for employment, but comes up against ageism, and his family are too wrapped up in their own lives to take much notice of his decent into depression.
Never really develops the drama enough, and such films were washed away shortly after by the kitchen sink drama's.

brandy for the parson (1962)

"You sure."
A couple (James Donald/Jean Lodge) plan a trip in a yacht across the channel to France, but don't count on Tony Rackham (Kenneth more) tagging along and involving them in some brandy smuggling.
Sedate comedy, that never sparks into life.

Bare behind bars (1980)

Aka A Prisão
"I'll be back."
A corupt lesbian prison warder oversees a squalid jail chock full of horny prisoners all desperate to escape the clutches of the equally horny guards.
A flimsy excuse to introduce lots of writhing nakedness and intermittent torture.