vampirella (1996)

"Join me for a bite."
Ella (Talisa Soto) travels from Drakulon to Earth on the trail of Vlad (Roger Daltrey), her father's murderer. Once on earth she hooks up with the high-tech vampire hunter Adam Van Helsing (Richard Joseph Paul).
Either a camp classic, or just a straight to video mess...

the party's over (1965)

"What happened last night?"
Melina (Louise Sorel) has taken to hanging with a bunch of beatniks in London, including Moise (Oliver Reed), but it looks like that her fun is over when her American fiance (Clifford David) announces that he is coming over for a visit...
Focuses a moralistic eye on Britain's post-war teens; portraying them as lost herd with no moral compass to guide them. Unfortunately the party had moved on after the film had sat of the shelf for three years before release. By which time the jazz age beatnik London was now the London of the swinging sixties, soundtracked by the Beatles and the Stones.

the cottage (2008)

"You're not the boss of me."
Brothers David (Andy Serkis) and Peter (Reece Shearsmith) kidnap the daughter of a gangster, Tracey (Jennifer Ellison), demanding a ransom for her safe return. Whilst waiting they hole up in a country cottage, but straight away their plans start going awry as Tracey is more of a handful, and then two Chinese hit-men track them down...
A promising but ultimately unfulfilling journey.

supersonic saucer (1956)

"It's really most perculiar."
A group of kids fined an alien, and help it when some crooks try and kidnap the poor guy.
Moralistic tale, that rips off ET...only 26 years to early.

black mountain poets (2015)

"Time to let go."
A pair of sisters (Alice Lowe & Dolly Wells) are on the run, and steal a car belonging to a couple of poets, and on seeing an invite for them to visit a poetry jam in rural Wales, they decide to impersonation the writers...
Lilting but slight romantic comedy.

it follows (2014)

"All you can do is pass it on to someone else."
Jay (Maika Monroe) has sex with a boy, who then reveals that she will now be inexorably followed by a maleviolent supernatural force, until she passes on the curse to her next sexual partner. From then on Jay is plagued with sightings of the spirit, (that no one else can see), slowly, and unerringly pursuing her.
A beautifully shot, teen-horror, with a simple premise, where the protagonists aimless walk through life, interupted only by the ominous horror that pursues Jay.

beast in space (1980)

"Strange...I feel a torpor inside me."
Aka La Bestia nello Spazio.
Starship captain Larry Madison (Vassili Karis) is sent to a remote planet to search for the rare element Antallum, but whilst there his crew feel overwhelmed with lust, and Lt. Sondra Richardson (Sirpa Lane) is plagued by a nightmare where she is pursued and raped by an unknown beast, in a landscape very much like the planet they have just landed on.
A soft-core meld of The Beast with a super cheap Barbarella.

sundown: the vampire in retreat (1989)

"Once a blood sucker, always a blood sucker."
An off the map desert town owned by Count Mardulak (David Caradine), is home to a bunch of vampires, who live on synthetic blood, and keep themselves to themselves. Unfortunately some campers arrive in town and witness one of their friends murdered. Then Robert Van Helsing (Bruce Campbell) arrives, only to find a civil war erupting between the vampires, as some one to return to the old ways of praying on humans, rather than co=existing. Van Helsing, helped by Sandy (Deborah Foreman), sets about ending war.
An entertaining mix of comedy and horror.

horns (2013)

"Something doesn't look right."
The girlfriend of Ig Perrish (Daniel Radcliffe) is murdered, and most of the town is convinced he did it, and the devil incarnate. But then he starts growing horns, and everyone starts confessing their deepest darkest feelings to him, so he hatches a plan to find the murderer and have them confess.
What starts as an entertaining exploration into a small town love story, soon ramps up the black humour and drama as Ig starts his investigations.

constantine (2005)

"You got a light?"
John Constantine (Keanu Reeves) is dying, and determined to work his way into heaven. Unfortunately his past misdemenours outweigh his current profession as a demon hunter. Then he bumps into Angela Dodson (Rachel Weitz) a detective determined to prove that her sister did not commit suicide.
What starts as an entertaining exploration into a small town love story, soon ramps up the black humour and drama as Ig starts his investigations.

viral (2016)

"It is serious Stacey!"
Small town California and typical high school students Emma (Sofia Black-D'Elia) & Stacey (Analeigh Tipton) get trapped at home without their parents as a virolent virus takes hold, and martial law is brought in. But when Stacey gets infected Emma chooses not to leave her infected sister but try and cover it up and save her...
Less of a horror, and more of a gentle tale of familial bonding. One that manages to hold the attention never the less.

they can't hang me (1955)

"Happy Birthday Jill!"
When senior civil servant Robert Pitt (André Morell) is condemned to hang, he tries to parlay his sentance down with a claim that he knows the identity of master spy Leonidas, who is about to smuggle out some top secret information. But will inspector Brown (Terence Morgan) believe him, and uncover the plot before Pitt hangs.
Thriller that shows potential, but lacks focus, with the light hearted banter interupting an otherwise serious drama.

penny gold (1973)

aka Clayton & Catherine. Love, Bullets and Frenzy.
"Money wouldn't buy the Penny Gold."
Inspector Matthew (James Booth) tries to solve the brutal murder of a young woman. The body is identified by her twin sister, Delphi (Francesca Annis), but things soon get complicated when he implicates her in a rare-stamp swindle.
Unfortunately a thriller that lacks suspense is one that is doomed to fail.

china 9, liberty 37 (1978)

"It's suicide."
Gunslinger Clayton Drumm (Fabio Testi) is given a contract to kill a retired gunfighter Matthew Sebanek (Warren Oates), as he refuses to sell his land to a railway company. Unfortunately he doesn't go through with the contract, and instead runs off with the man's wife (Jenny Agutter). So both Sebanek and his employers set out to hunt down the pair.
Slow moving film that quickly lost my interest.

the flood (1963)

"The waters are still rising."
1947, and whilst their parents have dashed to hospital for the birth of their next child, the other kids are left on the remote East Anglian farm. Not a problem, until a storm causes it to become cut off due to flooding, and the local louts decide to steal all their food.
Standard CFF film, where the kids have to work together to solve their problems.

silent running (1972)

"report right away to the recreation room."
In an unspecified future, a lone scientist (Bruce Dern) on a space station, tends to all the flora from earth on a spacestation, as the planet is now barren. But as he does so, he remonises about the day that he is given orders to destroy it all, and we find out why he is alone.
Although now showing its age, the central story still holds poignancy.

lili marlene (1950)

"Her father was a collaborator!"
A French girl (Lisa Daniely) becomes famous for singing the German song Lilli Marlene, ad falls for Steve (Hugh McDermott), who managers her. The Nazi's sensing a propaganda coup manage to kidnap her, and make her broadcast for them. Once the war is over, Lili re-appears in London and in Steve's life. She convinces him that she was brainwashed and forced to broadcast for the German's, but this doesn't convince the British secret service...
Predictable war drama with an unconvincing conclusion.

some like it sexy (1969)

aka Afternoon Delight .
"We've all got to do our bit for international relations."
Peter (Christopher Matthews) is a man about town, with one thing on his mind, who works his way through various stereotype women.
Sexploitation enlivened only by some bizarre symbolic cutaways, and a kitsch view of the 60's, in this cut-price Alfie.

venom (1981)

aka Afternoon Delight .
"We've all got to do our bit for international relations."
Peter (Christopher Matthews) is a man about town, with one thing on his mind, who works his way through various stereotype women.
Sexploitation enlivened only by some bizarre symbolic cutaways, and a kitsch view of the 60's, in this cut-price Alfie.

don't just lie there say something (1974)

"MP's why don't they stay at home and watch telly like the rest of us."
MP Sir William Mainwaring-Brown (Leslie Phillips) is sponsoring an anti-smut campaign in Parliament, and to an effort to scupper it, some hippies try to kidnap him. Unfortunately they only succeed in grabbing Barry Ovis (Brian Rix), an accident prone MP, on the day he is meant to marry Sir William's daughter.
A bed-hopping farce that unfortunately was what passed for comedy in 70s Britain.

the wildcats of st trinians (1980)

"Beat it scum."
The girls of St Trinians decide they want to form a trade union, and Flash (Joe Melia) tells them that they have to infiltrate all the top schools in England, in order to create a closed shop. So this is what they do...
A continuation of the St Trinians series, sees some of the original team back, for a 70's take on worker relations. Unfortunately it lacks much of the wit the series had become known for.

the purge: election year (2016)

"We will now purge. We will torture you and violate your flesh. Remove your skin and share in your blood. This is the American way."
Senator Charlie Roan (Elizabeth Mitchell) has risen on the promise to ban the event. The political elite determine to bring her down, with the aid of a white power militia, but they don't recon on Roan and her security advisor Leo Barnes (Frank Grillo), receiving the help of a couple of Deli owners (Mykelti Williamson & J.J. Soria) and a paramedic (Betty Gabriel)...
The Purge becomes political, in this chase thriller, which demands you don't ask any questions, in order to be entertained.

dead end (1937)

aka Dead End: Cradle of Crime.
"Straight in the arms of my mother"
'Baby Face' Martin (Humphrey Bogart), a renowned gangster, returns to the tenements where he grew up, to see his mother and an old girlfriend. Unfortunately the ten years that have passed since he was last around may not have changed the place, but it has changed the people; with his mother rejecting him, and Frenchie (Claire Trevor) now a terminally ill prostitute. Feeling sorry for himself, Martin then decides to rob a luxury apartment in the area...
A gritty gangster flick, (for its time), that looks at the poverty that drives juvenile delinquency, and in turn fuels adult crime.

behind the mask (1958)

"I may be old-fashioned but I prefer to think of them as human beings."
Philip Selwood (Tony Britton) is a newly qualified surgeon, under the wing of Sir Arthur Benson Gray (Michael Redgrave), and is set to marry his daughter (Vanessa Redgrave). But then a patient dies, and Philip is disturbed that the Polish anesthetist Dr Romek (Carl Möhner) is being set up as the scape goat, due to his newly discovered drug addiction.
Stiff upper lip Medical drama, that is more interesting for Redgrave's screen debut.

amelia and the angel (1958)

"This is the story of Amelia, the least angelic of them all."
Young Amelia (Mercedes Quadros) is forbidden to take away the angel wings, that form part of her costume for an upcoming dance. But she takes them home anyway. Unfortunately her little brother soon damages them, and she is forced to scour the streets of London for replacements.
Experimental short film by Ken Russell, that incorporates many of the themes that he developed in later projects, from dance to treatise on Catholicism.

peepshow (1956)

A Beggar's Academy trains people to impersonate the blind and infirm, to con money out of the public, but their earnings tumble when a peepshow is set up.
Ken Russell's debut short film shows promise and is styled in a Caligariesque fashion.

melody club (1949)

"Ok! Trust Freddie. "
Jean (Gwynneth Vaughan) has inherited a nightclub that a gangster wants to buy. He's hit on a scheme to ruin the clubs reputation, so he can buy it cheap. So Jean employs an incompetent private detective Freddy Forrester (Terry-Thomas) to go undercover and find out what is going on.
Clumsy comedy that even Terry-Thomas cannot save.

the forest (2016)

"Turn around Sarah."
identical twin Sara (Natalie Dormer) goes to Japan to find her sister, when she is told she has walked alone into an infamous suicide hot spot. No one will help her due to their fear of the forest and the demons said to live within it, but her luck seems in when she meets Aiden (Taylor Kinney), a travel journalist, who says he will help her...
Emulates the Japanese psychological horrors, though lacking the shocks and unease that this genre is famous for.