a quiet place: day one (2024)

"I'd forgotten how the city sings."
Sam (Lupita Nyong'o) is a the last throws of ternminal cancer and all she thinks about it a pizza from her childhood restaurant in Harlem. Unfortunately on the day she chooses to go back to the city all hell breaks out as it is overrun by an invasion of creatures intent on killing every being that they hear. Thus the struggle begins to get out of the city without making a sound.
Don't come here expecting answers, just settle back and let this somewhat sentimental journey unfold. With the odd thrill thrown in.

a bay of blood (1971)

AKA Ecologia del delitto. Twitch of the Death Nerve.
"There will be tears shed over the bay."
A wealthy countess (Isa Miranda) is murdered by her husband who is in turn stabbed to death, a scenario that preticipates a slew of killings as their deaths unleash a land dispute with those hoping to inherit her large estate.
Often sited as the grandfather of the slasher movie and you can see the origins of the genre in this entertaining horror.

ghidorah the three headed monster (1964)

AKA San Daikaijû Chikyû Saidai no Kessen
"These monsters are as stupid as human beings."
A detective (Yôsuke Natsuki) is assigned protection duty for a visiting princess (Akiko Wakabayashi) but the plane she is on explodes and everyone believes she has perished, not knowing she has been spirited away. Meanwhile a women who looks the same foresees Earth's destruction by a powerful monster arriving in a meteor and the detective sets out to find her.
The first of the Godzilla series to portray the monsters in a comical light setting the stage for a family friendly version of the lizard king.

godzilla: king of the monsters! (1955)

"Tokyo, a smoldering memorial to the unknown"
American reporter Steve Martin (Raymond Burr) happens to be in Tokyo just as the authorities are investigating some mysterious ship sinkings off the island of Oda. The islanders suggest that they were caused by an ancient monster...
The Americanised version of the original Godzilla, intercutting Raymond Burr and liberal usage of voice over, that cannot match the original.

a woman of mystery (1958)

"I didn't think it would lead anywhere."
Journalist Ray Savage (Dermot Walsh) is given the task of finding a story in the suicide of Jayne Hayle. Ray sees it as a something and nothing assignment but supported by his secretary Joy (Hazel Court) His investigations uncovers kidnapping, murder, and counterfeiting.
Standard British take on a film noir, complete with voice over from a hardbitten protagonist. Watch out for Michael Caine in an uncredited role as a young thug.

as long as they're happy (1955)

"She's not brazen, dear. She's blonde. You must get yourself some glasses."
Teenager Gwen (Janette Scott) tricks the singing star Bobby (Jerry Wayne) into visiting her house. He in turn is charmed by her kooky family and they challenge the father, John (Jack Buchanan), to become more spontanious.
A charming ensemble cast make an endearing comedy from what is a hodge-podge of ideas in this pre-rock and roll screwball farse and watch out for Diana Dors as an It girl.

the body beneath (1970)

"You are always one step ahead of me."
Carfax Abbey is taken over by a family of vampires, led by the Rev. Ford (Gavin Reed) and they decide the family could do with an influx of new blood to stop inbreeding, so set about looking for some suitable candidates. Distant relative Susan Ford (Jackie Skarvellis) takes his fancy so he abducts her, but her boyfriend Paul Donati (Richmond Ross) doesn't like the arrangement!
Well made but dull.

the mighty thor against the queen of the amazons (1963)

AKA Thor and the Amazon Women. Le gladiatrici
"I don't want to go to a country where men are treated like worms."
A race of Amazon warriors are slavers and hear about the mighty Thor as a great fighter and decide they need him for their gladiator tournaments, but is spirted away. Whilest the Amazons search for him the warrior Tamar (Susy Andersen), is having to train as a gladiatorix and is set to fight for her life in the arena. Can the mighty Thor (Joe Robinson) help to them regain their freedom.
Lacks in anything like any form of enterainment...

dr jekyll likes them hot (1979)

AKA Dottor Jekyll e gentile signora
The evil Dr. Jekyll (Paolo Villaggio), is an unscrupulous scientist aided by his wicked secretary Barbara Wimply (Edwige Fenech), and a gang of thugs led by Pretorius (Gordon Mitchell). Unfortunately his plans of world domination are twisted when he becomes Mr Hyde, whose personality is the oposite of the nasty Dr Jekyll.
A lamentable slapstick comedy featuring un-PC jokes about Hyde's gay persona.

triangle of venus (1978)

AKA Die Insel der tausend Freuden.
"You have both behaved like hyena's."
Lady Henriette (Lili Muráti) is a wealthy matriarch keeping a close eye on the complicated love lives of her family members.
Lush tropical scenary and plenty of nudity in this otherwise incomprehesable drama.

doomsday machine (1976)

"I don't understand."
The Americans discover that the Chinese have developed a doomsday machine that can destroy the earth. This derails the preparations for a mission to Venus as the crew must try to save the Earth from destruction, with three of the crew being replaced by three women.
Be amazed who the women manage to maintain their beehives whilst in space, in this cheesy and cheap Sci-fi hokem.

the canary murder case (1929)

"Send me an autograph of yours on a nice big fat cheque."
Nightclub singer 'the Canary' (Louise Brooks) has a nice sideline in blackmail but is murdered and the only witness is also murdered, which somewhat hinders Detective Philo Vance (William Powell) in his investigation...
An early talkie introduces Powell as a swarve detective before making a habit of it. It also sees the death of Louise Brooks American career, as she refused to reshoot her scenes when it was decided to switched from being a silent film. So she went to Germany to become a European star.

the viking (1928)

"He has the temper of a black devil."
Viking maiden Helga (Pauline Starke) has many admirers but is taken by the slave Alwin (LeRoy Mason) whom she buys. From then on he causes nothing but trouble as Leif Ericsson (Donald Crisp) takes the crew West of Greenland to find some unpillaged and uncharted land.
Plenty of action pushes this early technicolour production along.

pulse (2001)

AKA Kairo.
"What's going on?"
A set of young adults in Tokyo find themselves experiencing strange phenomena as colleagues start to go missing or commit suicide. As they investigate electrical components start to glitch, hindering their search for answers. Could it be that spirits are trying to enter the human world through the Internet?
The horror of isolation slowly unveils as the ominous atmosphere rises. A haunting movie as long as you can take the deliberately slow pacing.

long swift sword of siegfried (1971)

AKA Siegfried und das sagenhafte Liebesleben der Nibelungen. The Lustful Barbarian.
"War is for men, women are only for love."
Siegfried (Raimund Harmstorf) travels around the Rhineland with his 'long sword' and strikes a bargain to help king Gunther win the hand of Brunhild, and still has time to bed every woman who crosses his path though he eventually settles for Kriemhild (Sybil Danning).
If your idea of fun is watching badly filmed softcore to the soundtrack of Wagner, then you are in luck. The rest of us less so!

desert of blood (2008)

"We buried him alive and now he is free again!"
An American tourist is in Mexico hunting for buried treasure with his girlfriend Amy (Annika Svedman). Unfortunately what he digs up is a vampire (Justin Quinn) and it is up to Father Hernandez (Flint Esquerra) to sort things out.
Watchable Mexican twist on the a standard vampire tale, but nothing special.

lady emanuelle (1989)

"Bellisimo"
Emanuelle (Malu) is trapped in an unhappy marrage so dumps her husband for the enticing novelist Leona (Micaela).
One of the better efforts from the genre, stylish and erring on the romantic side.

the erotic and wacky tunnel of time (1983)

AKA El erótico y loco túnel del tiempo
"Saluda" Perico (Paco Maldonado) invents a time machine and finds lots of ancient times full of sex starved young maidens, including cavewomen, ancient Egypt, Rome and a Turkish harem. Then even finds time to bob into the future.
Does what it says on the tin, as they say,

serpent's lair (1995)

"You eat fish when it is ready to be eaten and this fish is ready!"
A young couple Tom and Alex (Jeff Fahey and Heather Medway) are sold an apartment in an old mansion and soon get to know their neighbours, both good and bad, including a cat that definitely dislikes Alex. Then the mysterious Lillith (Lisa Barbuscia) turns up unannounced....
A rather unentertaining horror as it just lacks anything in the way of scares or thrills.

death screams (1982)

AKA House of Death
"we are all going down to the river after dark."
A machete wielding maniac terrorises some teens after they take shelter from the rain in a derelict house in the woods.
A straight to video slasher that is takes its time to get going and is ultimately forgettable.

emmanuelle in soho (1981)

"Remember I'm a straight guy in a bent business."
Emmanuelle (Angie Quick) is house sharing in London with Kate (Julie Lee) and her bisexual photographer husband Paul Benson (Kevin Fraser). In need of money they hook up with a seedy agent who they find is ripping them off...time for revenge. Meanwhile Kate is auditioning for a Soho revue show.
Watch as a time capsule of Soho with the bare minimum of a plot allowing nudity and lame dad jokes a plenty.