A journey into the heart of the b movie...

oasis of the zombies (1981)

2012-02-10T11:25:00.003Z

aka The Treasure Of The Living Dead. L'abîme des morts vivants. Bloodsucking Nazi Zombies.
"There is a legend that the ghosts of your soldiers still stand over the treasure."
An expedition searches an African desert for Nazi treasure. Unfortunately what they find is an army of Nazi zombies determined that no one will ever find it.
A fine start, soon grinds to a near frozen pacing, enough to lull even the hardiest into sleep.

the man who never was (1956)

2012-02-10T11:22:00.003Z

"The major. May he have a safe, but successful journey."
An British intelligence officer (Clifton Webb) comes up with a cunning plan to fool the Germans as to where the Allies were intending to begin their land invasion in 1943. The plan was simple; get a body with bogus plans into the hands of the Germans. But how to do it, so that the body and its life story will convince the enemy agents scrutiny.
Based on intregingly real events, this is a classy, though uninvolving version of the story.

the big combo (1955)

2012-02-10T11:20:00.002Z

"I'm trying to run an impersonal business, killing is very personal."
Detective Leonard Diamond (Cornel Wilde) is in love with Susan (Jean Wallace), but she is the unhappy gangster's moll of Mr Brown (Richard Conte). When she attempts suicide ? goes gunning for Brown, determined to make him pay. Unfortunately Mr Brown is a very careful and powerful man, with influential friends.
A classy and stylish noir that does a fine job at building tension from the situation.

blacula (1972)

2012-02-10T11:16:00.002Z

"Say man, that is one strange dude."
Prince Mamuwald (William Marshall) is turned into a vampire by Count Dracula (Charles Macaulay), and 200 years later finds himself shipped over to LA and there he finds Tina (Vonetta McGee) whom he mistakes for his long lost princess.
Boy does he need to go on an anger management course and de-stress.

raising the wind (1961)

2012-02-10T11:15:00.002Z

aka Roommates.
"Another five days and we'll be in the thick of it."
A group of music students hit on the idea of sharing a flat, to cut living costs, have somewhere to practice without disturbing their neighbours, and subsequently get into some adventures as they do so.
A Doctor film, moved from medical to music school, even using many of those film's ensemble, including James Robertson Justice, Liz Fraser and Leslie Phillips. Add in a sprinkling of Carry On cast and you have unfortunately a poor approximation of both these popular series.

carry on loving (1970)

2012-02-10T11:14:00.001Z

"They are a beautifully fashioned pair."
The plot centres on the problems the Wedded Bliss dating agency gets into when they install a computer to match up customers.
The ensemble are all here, but this turns out to be one of the poor relations in the family that is the 'Carry On' series.

brighton rock (2010)

2012-02-10T11:11:00.002Z

"If we had meant to kill him we would have done so wouldn't we."
Pinkie (Sam Riley), is a smalltime crook, who kills a rival in revenge. Unfortunately a waitress (Andrea Riseborough) has evidence that could place him at the scene, so he woos then marries her, in order to keep her quiet.
As with the 1947 film this parallels the criminal journey with Pinkie and Rose's theosophical one; their faith coming more to the fore the deeper in trouble they get. This version holds up as a watchable drama, though the original still ticks more boxes for me, it was always going to be a hard act to follow.

yongary - monster from the deep (1967)

2012-02-10T11:06:00.002Z

aka Taekoesu Yonggary.
"I suggest you get a few tanks over there."
A scientist is called up to try and defeat a giant, angry, dinosaur like creature that has emerged from the ocean depths following an atomic test. It's hungry after its nap and needs to refuel, so heads straight to the oil refineries, ravaging Seoul as it goes.
A Korean mashup of Godzilla and Gamera, makes for an amusingly camp, in a bad way, monster flick.

the cat creeps (1946)

2012-02-08T17:22:00.002Z

"It's only a cat, nothing to get scared at."
A wise cracking journalist is given a tip off that a would be senator may have been involved in a murder 15 years previously. The key to the plot is thought to be in an old deserted house, that may also have a fortune hidden in it. To this end he, and some other interested parties go to the house to sort it out once and for all. Unfortunately someone doesn't want the mystery revealed and will go to any lengths to stop them.
Dumb but atmospheric murder mystery, with a fine line in dialogue.

revolt of the zombies (1936)

2012-02-05T12:42:00.002Z

"A woman in love can justify anything."
World War I and the French army an ancient CAmbodian secret that can create zombie slaves. Fearful of a German zombie army an expedition is sent to Cambodia to destroy the formula. Unfortunately a woman Claire Duval (Dorothy Stone), is involved, and where there's a woman, there follows jealousy...
What could have been a neat little horror, is side-tracked by an absurd love story, still it makes for an interesting watch.

carry on emmanuelle (1978)

2012-02-05T12:40:00.001Z

"I will make you love me, if it's the last thing I do."
Emmannuelle Prevert (Suzanne Danielle) arrives in London to be reunited with her ambassador husband (Kenneth Williams), but finding him distracted, she gets to work on various high ranking politicians. Will she ever manage to make her husband jealous and get him into bed?
Trying to grab some of the 'Confessions Of' sex comedy audience this falls flat and is remembered more for killing off the 'Carry On' series. Double entendre's arrive thick and fast, but the producers forgot to leave some of the comedy in the script.

piranha (1978)

2012-02-05T12:33:00.002Z

"Do you think there is a way to pull the plug on this thing?"
A couple accidentally release Piranhas into a river. Unfortunately this waterway runs right past a couple of summer camps, and the fish soon get a taste for tourists. So it's up to Maggie (Heather Menzies) and Paul (Bradford Dillman) to try and atone for their mistake before the predators chomp too many.
A tongue-in-cheek flick made to catch some of that Jaws action, with enough thrills and in jokes to keep most engaged for 90 minutes. Watch out for appearances from Barbara Steele, Dick Miller and Paul Bartel.

fury of the wolfman (1972)

2012-02-05T12:31:00.001Z

aka La furia del Hombre Lobo.
"If there is a killer, there must also be a victim. We must find them both."
Walter Daninsky (Paul Naschy) is involved in an accident, fixed to happen by his wife and her lover. What they don't know is that he is a werewolf. Can his scientist friends finally cure him of this curse.
A mashed up plot, topped off with strange performances, make this another one of those must see B's.

things happen at night (1947)

2012-02-05T12:29:00.001Z

"Now what am I going to do."
A house is possessed by a poltergeist, which in turn possesses a young woman.
Run of the mill comedy, that leaves you feeling unsatisfied.

rock n roll high school (1979)

2012-02-03T21:43:00.002Z

"Do your parents know that you are ramones?"
A new term at Vince Lombardi High School, and a new no-nonesense principle (Mary Woronov), who is determined to stamp out the unruly behaviour of the students, led by Riff Randle (P.J. Soles), whose only thoughts for the upcoming concert by the Ramones.
Whether you like this or not probably depends on whether you like the Ramones or not, who are shoe-horned into a film that mocks those high school flicks of the 50's and 60's.

piranha (1972)

2012-02-03T21:41:00.001Z

"Hey, can you help me out?"
A pair of American tourists (Ahna Capri & Tom Simcox) venture into the Venezuelan jungle to sightsee and take some photo's, but run afoul of local hunter Caribe (William Smith).
Poorly acted, scripted, and paced, this is a let down in so many ways, and would work more as a wildlife travelogue than the supposed horror it sells itself as.

abbott and costello meet the mummy (1955)

2012-02-03T21:40:00.002Z

"if you do not find it, you must die."
Bud and Lou find themselves in possession of a medallion linked with a mummy (Eddie Parker), and an Egyptian cult, led by the mysterious Madame Rontru (Marie Windsor), are very interested in obtaining it.
Brings a smile at times, but for their last Universal outing it's obvious the series had run its course. Far too much farcical running from room to room, and very little mummy action.

the day the sky exploded (1958)

2012-02-03T21:38:00.002Z

aka La morte viene dallo spazio.
"To the successful conclusion of this venture."
Meteors are on a collision course with earth, so scientists are working against time to prevent this obviously disasterous occurance from happening.
Low budget oddity from Italy, known more for its director of photography, Mario Bava, than its plot. Manyly due to the fact that virtually all the film is set in a spaceship's control room.

abbott and costello meet dr. jekyll and mr. hyde (1953)

2012-02-03T21:33:00.002Z

"He turned me into a mouse, the rat!"
Our bumbling duo play a pair of American cops enrolled in the Metropolitan police to study British police methods. In the process they get involved with Dr Jekyll and consequently Mr. Hyde (Boris Karloff).
Karloff excells in his part, whilst A & C give their usual slapstick performance.

the mandarin mystery (1936)

2012-02-03T21:30:00.002Z

"Ah! Go take a bath!"
The famous detective Ellery Queen (Eddie Quillan) undertakes to solve a crime involving a valuable stamp, when it's stolen from Josephine Temple (Charlotte Henry).
Quillan plays the detective as a love-struck puppy dog, bringing comedy into the story, but throwing out the mystery element in the process.

africa screams (1949)

2012-02-03T21:28:00.001Z

"Oh you're such a nuisance."
Abbott & Costello get involved in an expedition to Africa and the search for diamonds. Once there they stumble across lions, cannibals, crocodiles, men in monkey suits, and the campest man in Africa.
Entertaining run out for A & C, lifted some more by Shemp Howard's short sighted gunner routine.

sucker punch (2011)

2012-02-03T13:11:00.001Z

"if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything."
Abused by her stepfather Babydoll (Emily Browning) retreats into an fantasy world, is institutionalised, and faces undergoing a lobotomy. Can she and four others escape the facility before this happens.
Visually stunning noir fantasy steampunk thriller, which fails to make you empathise with its participants: A computer game mashup of a Pussycat Doll video and the Matrix.

the killings at outpost zeta (1980)

2012-02-03T13:09:00.002Z

"My feelings are this is a graveyard."
Some terraformers, tasked with making uninhabited planets ready for collanisation, are dying. So a team is put together to find out what is happening and stop it.
Wordy low budget sci-fi, you will either get annoyed by its pedestrian pacing, or feel its a obscure and haunting gem driven by its minimalistic electronic soundtrack.

the island of dr. moreau (1977)

2012-02-03T13:08:00.002Z

"Flesh reasserts itself."
Braddock (Michael York), adrift in a lifeboat, lands on a remote pacific island. He's found by Dr. Montgomery (Nigel Davenport), who aids his reabilitation. But he starts to become disturbed when he meets the natives and finds they are experiments of Dr. Moreau (Burt Lancaster).
The third version of the H.G. Wells story, centred on Michael York's horrified reaction to the events he witnesses.

end of the world (1977)

2012-02-03T13:06:00.000Z

"We did the best we could."
A scientist intercepts doomladen messages to aliens, and tracks them down to a convent run by priest (Christopher Lee), who turns out to be an alien impersonating the real priest.
A film where a whole lot of nothing happens...and what does is ploddingly slow! Sometimes life is just too short!

the wrong arm of the law (1963)

2012-01-30T17:00:00.004Z

aka Gentlemenkillers.
"No one knows where we are any more."
The London underworld is up in arms, as their tried and tested methods of robbing people are disrupted when a new gang arrives in town, stealing from them by impersonating the police. Thus Police Inspector Parker (Lionel Jeffries) joins up with gangland boss Pearly Gates' (Peter Sellers) in an attempt to catch these interlopers, and return to the status quo.
A classic comedy, where Lionel Jefferies steals the show as the pompous policeman, no mean feat when he's acting against Peter Sellers.

hercules in the haunted world (1961)

2012-01-30T16:57:00.002Z

aka Hercules In The Center Of The Earth.
"I almost wished you had left me here to die."
Hercules (Reg Park) has to decend into Hades to retrieve a stone that will allow him to free Princess Deianira (Leonora Ruffo) from a curse, set by King Lico (Christopher Lee).
Bava gives this installment some added lysergic qualities, that can only up the entertainment value.

the notorious bettie page (2005)

2012-01-30T16:52:00.003Z

"He's not normal, but he's nice."
Biopic about Bettie Page (Gretchen Mol), the innocent young country girl, who moves from abusive relationships in her Southern homeland, to a career as a model in pin-up, and bondage films, giving it all up when she becomes the 'queen of pin-ups'.
A fine, if fictionalised account of the rise of everyone's favourite cheese cake model.

attack the block (2011)

2012-01-28T07:34:00.001Z

"This is my block, get me!"
Aliens make the mistake of landing on a housing estate in South London, and the kids decide to defend their turf, the only way they know how.
A fine debut, treading the line between comedy and horror with great confidence.

kronos (1957)

2012-01-28T07:28:00.002Z

aka Kronos, Destroyer of the Universe. Kronos, Ravager of Planets.
"I can't get over this horrible feeling that this is the calm, and a storm is about to break out any minute."
An alien machine is sent to syphon off the earth's energy. Scientist Les Gaskell (Jeff Morrow), turns up to investigate, believing it to be an asteroid and walks into mayhem.
Your standard alien creature feature, but one done with a little style and effort, making it an interesting cold war paranoia flick.

the invisible woman (1940)

2012-01-28T07:22:00.001Z

"Fish! And me with an invisible women for him not to see."
Professor Gibbs (John Barrymore) has invented an invisibility machine, and needs a human guinea pig to test it. Up steps model Kitty Carroll (Virginia Bruce), but unknown to him she has an ulterior motive to volunteering. Then some gangsters get involved to muddy the waters further.
An entertaining sci-fi, played for laughs more than horror.

and then there were none (1945)

2012-01-27T10:47:00.002Z

"Very stupid to kill the only servant in the house. Now we don't even know where to find the marmalade."
Ten people arrive at an isolated island, tempted there by an unknown person, who promptly alleges that each of this disperate group is a murderer. Then they start to die, one by one. Is one of them the killer, or is it their unseen host?
Based on a classic Agatha Christie, this throws a number of well known actors at the story, producing some fine comedic performances.

the traitor (1957)

2012-01-27T10:43:00.003Z

aka The Accursed.
"One of us is a cold blooded killer..."
A group of wartime resistance fighters, attends a reunion of their unit, but they begins to suspect one of his colleagues may have in fact been a Nazi agent, who will go to any lengths to prevent their cover from being blown.
Standard whodunit, that is given an interesting twist. It's stagey but helped by the use of a number of well known faces, playing against type, including Christopher Lee, and Anton Diffring.
British, Spy, Michael McCarthy, Gilbert Gunn, Reknown,

the rage: carrie 2 (1999)

2012-01-25T21:15:00.000Z

"You Can't have my daughter."
Racheal (Emily Bergl) is suffering typical teen angst, unpopular at school and with a bad hom life. But this teen has a latent power. A power that the death of her best friend will unleash.
Carrie is a hard act to follow, but for a horror sequel this actually works, upping the gore compared to the first instalment.

the swarm (1978)

2012-01-25T21:14:00.002Z

"It's just a bee, if you leave it alone it won't bother you."
An army squad enter a military base where it looks like all the personnel are dead, all but civilian Brad Crane (Michael Caine). They want answers, but what he tells them, they find hard to believe. It's the result of bees, millions of bees, and Crane is an entomologist on their trail. Can Crane stop them before they take a tour of the major cities of the South-Eastern states?
So over the top it has to be tongue in cheek, with all the bad one liners you would expect from such a blockbuster packed out with star names. A good old fashioned creature feature; park your brain at the door, and ignore the plot holes entertainment.

the wraith (1986)

2012-01-25T21:12:00.001Z

"that's a hell of a car you've got there."
Packard Walsh (Nick Cassavetes) and his gang of thugs kill a young man, he returns as the mythical Wraith (Charlie Sheen), hell bent on gaining revenge.
One to watch with a beer in hand and some mates who love muscle cars, as this is the only audience that would accept this lunkhead of a premise.

sleepwalkers (1992)

2012-01-25T21:07:00.002Z

"There's a lot of cats."
Shapeshifting duo, Charles (Brian Krause) and his mother Mary (Alice Krige), move from town to town, praying on the lifeforce of virgins. Their one weakness: cats, who sense them and can prove deadly to these monsters. And so it proves as cats move in on them, as Charles stalks Tanya (Mädchen Amick).
A Stephen King story, that foregoes the scares and moves straight to the blood. One for the gorehounds out there, rather than those after chills; enjoyable nonesense.

curse of the faceless man (1958)

2012-01-24T14:18:00.003Z

"It isn't possible, it has no face, no eyes, yet it knows where to go."
A couple of archaeologists uncover a body preserved in volcanic ash at a dig in Pompeii. Dr. Paul Mallon (Richard Anderson) is brought in to examine the body, but before he can it starts on a killing spree. Will Mallon figure out who is behind the murders and find out a way to stop it?
Mildly diverting small time reversioning of the mummy story.

rumpelstiltskin (1996)

2012-01-24T14:16:00.001Z

"My what a cute little baby."
Rumpelstiltskin (Max Grodénchik) is freed from a statue he was imprisioned in by Shelley Stewart (Kim Johnston Ulrich) and the creature immediately demands possession of her baby. So its Stuart vs Rumple in a bout for the kids soul. Unfortunately 'you can't kill someone without a soul'.
Low budget flick redemed with some fine one liners.

shadow of the vampire (2000)

2012-01-21T16:44:00.004Z

"What an actor...dedication."
A dramatisation of the making of the 1922 silent classic Nosferatu. Murnau's (John Malkovich) production is hampered by his star performer Max Schreck (Willem Dafoe), who is either a genius method actor, or a real vampire.
Intriguing hypothisis that produces an interesting and at times chilling film.

achilles (1962)

2012-01-21T16:18:00.003Z

aka The Fury Of Achilles.
"It is difficult to wash away the odour of death."
As the Trojan War rumbles on tension between Achilles (Gordon Mitchell) and Agamemnon (Mario Petri) divides the Greek camp. Can Hector (Jacques Bergerac) exploit this rift giving the Trojans a chance finally win the war?
Action and psychological drama makes this one of the more interesting Peplum, as Achilles knows that to win the war he needs to kill Hector, and thus seal his own doom.

desperately seeking susan (1985)

2012-01-21T16:17:00.003Z

"Between you and me, how much do you really know about Roberta?"
Roberta (Rosanna Arquette) is an bored housewife living in New Jersey who is fascinated with a woman who posts messages in the personals of a New York tabloid, Susan (Madonna), a free-spirited drifter. But when Roberta bumps her head she awakes thinking she is Susan, and soon adopts her lifestyle, much to the annoyance of Susan herself and Roberta's husband (Mark Blum).
Fun film that introduced the world to Madonna, though you shouldn't hold that against it.

alien species (1996)

2012-01-21T16:09:00.003Z

"Why do I suddenly feel that I'm in a bad episode of the x-files."
UFOs are attacking, and scientist (Hoke Howell) finds himself in an unlikely group including a sheriff (Charles Napier), his deputies, and a number of prisoners sheltering in a cave from the onslaught. Can this disperate group band together and defeat the aliens? What do you think!
Mildly diverting B movie, complete with plot holes, bad acting and an even worse script. Topped off by the prescence of Charlies Napier.

the house on 92nd street (1945)

2012-01-21T16:07:00.003Z

"You're fooling around with a lot of stuff you shouldn't be."
Bill Dietrich (William Eythe) agrees to become a double agent, posing as a Nazi willing to sabotage the USA's war effort, but really he's spying for the FBI.
Produced as a docudrama, this is an entertaining thriller promoting the work of the FBI in counter-espionage.

the eye creatures (1965)

2012-01-15T22:38:00.003Z

aka Attack of the Eye Creatures.
"I expected to be frightened on my wedding night, but nothing like this!"
Some aliens land on earth, at a local lovers lane spot, and one promptly gets itself run over by a couple of teens. They inevitably inform the authorities, and they inevitably don't believe them...
Bad plot, full of ridiculous characters, and teens played by 30 year olds, 80 minutes you will never get back!

viy (1967)

2012-01-15T22:36:00.001Z

aka Spirt of Evil.
"I summon the vampires! I summon the werewolves!... I summon Viy!"
Khoma (Leonid Kuravlyov) a novice monk is ordered to preside over the wake of a witch, which means he has to spend three nights alone with the corpse, something that will test his faith.
Supposedly the first horror film made in Russia, this is a Ukranian folktale that provides a fun fairytale atmosphere, though no true scares.

the immoral mr teas (1959)

2012-01-15T19:12:00.001Z

aka Mr Teas and his playthings.
"The guitar is a very sensitive instrument, with "G" being the third string, and is played over a system of frets. Sensitive men have been fretting over G-strings for years!"
Meyer, yet to find his true auteur voice, produces a nudie cutie, where the titular character (Bill Teas) discovers he can see women without their clothes on, and stumbles from one woman to another...
Even at only an hour long, this seems longer! A film truly of its age, when the censor had a vertiable fit if more than a hint of sex was seen on screen.

head (1968)

2012-01-15T19:10:00.002Z

"Hey hey we are the Monkees, you know we aim to please. A manufactured image with no philosophies."
The pop phenonemon of the Monkees had run its course, but they had one last roll of the dice, a film exploding the myth of the group via a number of rambling drug fuelled episodes. The kids didn't understand it and it bombed. But what they produced was a remarkable piece of comedy and music.
Featuring a number of Hollywood's counter culture activists, from Jack Nicholson, to Frank Zappa, this is a remarkable take on a particular moment in pop culture.

the legend of hell house (1973)

2012-01-15T19:09:00.002Z

"The house tried to kill me. It almost succeeded."
Four people (Pamela Franklin, Roddy McDowall, Gayle Hunnicutt and Clive Revill) are tasked with establishing whether there is life after death and are sent to the notorious Belasco House to do so. The house having a reputaion of driving occupants mad or killing them. Can the team survive a week in the house and solve the mystery?
The typical haunted house script is lifted by its cast and direction that manages to maintains a chilling, and beguilingly erotic atmosphere, and thus entertains all the more than most.

the brothers grimm (2005)

2012-01-15T12:09:00.002Z

"Don't trust the trees."
It's 1811 and the brothers (Matt Damon and Heath Ledger) travel Germany using ancient stories to con villagers out of their money performing exorcisms and vanquishing witches. That is until they stumble on a real horror story.
An entertaining attempt at telling how the Brothers Grimm got inspiration for their tales.

bye bye birdie (1963)

2012-01-15T12:06:00.001Z

"Who wants to bye a song by someone with a glass jaw."
Rock sensation Birdie Conrad (Jesse Pearson) is about to be drafted and Rosie (Janet Leigh) cooks up one last publicity stunt to see him off, and to set her boyfriend Al (Dick Van Dyke) up with a guaranteed hit.
Catchy main tune but what could have been an interesting take on teen life is squandered and the flick fails to truly grip.

it came from hollywood (1982)

2012-01-15T12:01:00.004Z

"I like a good cat fight."
Compilation of sci-fi and horror b movie clips, played for laughs with voice overs and clips of comedians such as John Candy and Cheech and Chong.
This comes across as an affectionate mocking of these 'classic' bad films, and hits most of its targets.

the wrong road (1937)

2012-01-15T11:59:00.003Z

"You do still love me don't you?"
A young couple, Jimmy and Ruth (Richard Cromwell and Helen Mack), rob a bank where the man works, stash the money, turn themselves in, and plan to return for it when released from prison. All goes well, they do their time and are parolled, but the insurance investigator (Lionel Atwill) and Jimmy's old cellmate, are on their tail waiting for them to pick up the money.
An improbable tale that would have worked better as a comedy, but unfortunately isn't.

the violent years (1956)

2012-01-15T11:57:00.001Z

"You're very observant for a pretty boy."
A young girl Paula Parkins (Jean Moorhead), feeling neglected by her parents, decides to form a girl gang and is soon robbing and raping the young men in town.
Written by Edward D. Wood Jr, this is a run of the mill JD flick, with the usual moralistic tone to justify the crimes portrayed, and include his usual sermonising - parents talk to your children!

marihuana (1936)

2012-01-13T16:55:00.001Z

aka Marihuana, the Devil's Weed.
"You kids are in a mess."
Troubled teen Burma Roberts (Harley Wood) is enticed by her peers into smoking the dreaded weed, and next thing she knows she's a party girl, pregnant and desperate for money. Thus she continues on her downward spiral and becomes a pusher, with the inevitable slide.
Moralistic tale of good girl gone bad in this standard exploitation flick.

the boat that rocked (2009)

2012-01-13T16:54:00.002Z

aka Pirate Radio.
"men where dying and they couldn't be saved because of this rock and roll pornography."
James (Charlie Rowe) is lucky enough to get a job on a pirate radio station at it's height in 1966, just as the Government decide to outlaw it.
Historically inaccurate and with a weak plot, but enjoyable for all that.

t.n.t. jackson (1974)

2012-01-13T16:52:00.002Z

aka Dynamite Wong and TNT Jackson.
"You want it black, you got it black!"
A bad ass young woman, Diana Jackson (Jeannie Bell) visits Hong Kong in an attempt to find her brother's killer. She soon befriends a Chinese guy called Joe (Chiquito), and is in the thick of the action battling a drug lord and his bitchy girlfriend.
A weak attempt to meld the martial arts and Blacksploitation worlds, lacking the charisma and fluid action of other better known Blacksploitation flicks.

gallivant (1997)

2012-01-12T11:11:00.001Z

"the chance to meet people and marvel at the landscape."
An 8mm travelogue, where the director, his mother and his daughter, (who has but a short time to live, due to some unspecified complaint), journey around the coast of Britain, catching snapshots of coversations along the way.
Beautiful to watch, with an underlying sense of our losing touch with the past, a longing for conection, and the impending loss of both his mother and child, make this all the more poignant.

santo vs frankenstein's daughter (1972)

2012-01-12T11:09:00.001Z

aka Santo vs. la hija de Frankestein.
"It's forbidden to talk about age here."
Dr. Freda Frankenstein (Gina Romand) is after Santo's blood to complete her youth serum, and has Frankenstein's monster to help her get it.
Despite his wrestling moves this Santo movie lacked much of the bizarre action that usually accompanies him, and fails to sustain my interest.

the vampire's coffin (1958)

2012-01-12T11:08:00.000Z

aka El Ataud del Vampiro.
"Have mercy on me sir."
Vampire Count Karol de Lavud (Germán Robles), is resurected by graverobbers, and takes a fancy to the neck of Marta González (Ariadna Welter) and tries to get his fangs on it.
Rather talkie horror, when are we going to get to the biting?

queen of the amazons (1947)

2012-01-12T11:06:00.003Z

"Greg says that I'm more than half savage, and maybe I am."
Jean Preston (Patricia Morison) is looking for her husband, who has disappeared. Firstly she visits India, but then tracks him to Africa. And after an age she finds out he has been captured by a savage tribe of women led by Zita (Amira Moustafa).
Some seriously trashy hokum based around as much stock footage as the producers could find.

girl in gold boots (1968)

2012-01-11T15:21:00.001Z

"I'm here to be a dancer."
Michele Casey (Leslie McRay) is encouraged to journey to LA to become Go-Go Dancer, Once in Hollywood she has no trouble getting herself a job in a hip nighclub, but then drugs enter the scene.
A second rate b, though better than Showgirls, (which has a similar plot), merely on the fact that it cost a fraction of that turkey to make. Also although the star cannot dance you've still gotta love the go-go scenes.

pecker (1998)

2012-01-11T14:58:00.001Z

"Pubic hair causes crime."
Pecker (Edward Furlong) is a young lad whose hobby is taking photo's of everyday scenes he comes across in his daily life in Baltimore. Everything changes when Rorey Wheeler (Lili Taylor), a New York gallery owner, sees his work, much to annoyance of his girlfriend Shelley (Christina Ricci).
A lighter Waters film than most of his work, which pokes fun at the New York art scene, and delivers a delightful comedy, that still manages to throw in some subversion.

the league of gentlemen (1960)

2012-01-10T17:22:00.001Z

"It's like being in school."
A redundent army veteran, Colonel Hyde (Jack Hawkins), annoyed at his treatment, recruits a some disgraced ex-collegues to pull off a bank robbery based on their military training.
Classic British caper comedy, with a subtle use of wit, well that is until Oliver Reed turns up as a very camp thespian!

hairspray (1988)

2012-01-10T17:21:00.003Z

"It's the times. They are a-changin'. Something's blowing in the wind. Fetch me my diet pills, would you, Hon?"
A young girl, Tracy Turnblad (Ricki Lake) idolises the dancers on local tv show The Corny Collins Show, and her rise to fame when she manages to become a dancer it, and sparks off protests for intergration, in the Baltimore of 1962.
Water's breakout film, that played up the retro charm, and won him a new audience.

revenge of the creature (1955)

2012-01-10T17:17:00.003Z

"For a scientist I sure am a sentimental fool."
Hunters return to the black lagoon to capture the creature, which they do, taking him to Marineland in Florida for study by Prof Clete Ferguson (John Agar) and Helen Dobson (Lori Nelson). Whilst there he takes a fancy to Helen and makes off the first chance he gets, but hangs around stalking her and attempting to get his claws on her.
Sequel to, but not a patch on The Creature From The Black Lagoon. Probably better in 3-D, being the only sequel to a 3-D movie that was itself produced in 3-D, but more notable as being the first screen role for Clint Eastwood.

cecil b. demented (2000)

2012-01-08T15:14:00.001Z

"There are no rules in underground cinema, only edges."
A guerrilla film maker (Stephen Dorff) and his troop of regulars, kidnap an A-list actress Honey Whitlock (Melanie Griffith) with the aim of making her star in their film.
A lesser comedy from Waters, lacking the attacking zeal of much of his work, but still has its moments.

devils of darkness (1965)

2012-01-08T15:12:00.001Z

aka Talisman.
"Come you are my chosen bride, you will follow me to the end of time."
In rural Brittany there exists a secret vampire cult, headed by Count Sinistre (Hubert Noël), praying on anyone they can get for their human sacrifices. Visiting writer Paul Baxter (William Sylvester), becomes suspicious when his traveling companions disappear and he tries to unravel the cults secrets, with inevitable results.
Takes the Hammer style and runs with it, producing a stylish and watchable horror, but one which has no real stand out moments.

polyester (1981)

2012-01-08T15:08:00.002Z

"I got somethin' to show ya, Francine! It's long. And it's sleek. And it's powerful. It's mah new 'vette!"
Mrs Fishpaw (Divine) is a housewife, who hates her husband's career as the owner of a pornographic cinema. Then her world falls apart when she catches him being unfaithful to her, but her life gets worse when her daughter announces she is pregnant by a local thug, and her son arrested as the Baltimore foot-stomper. Salvation comes when her life seems at its lowest, when Todd Tomorrow (Tab Hunter) arrives on the scene, but is this the end of her problems, or just the beginning?
A fine comedy, that dabbles with Waters usual themes. Originally filmed in Odorama.

nobody runs forever (1968)

2012-01-08T09:17:00.002Z

aka The High Commissioner.
"He's not here to look into the leaks..."
An Australian diplomat (Christopher Plummer), chairing some delicate peace talks in London, is wanted back in Australia on a charge of murder. Detective Scobie Malone (Rod Taylor) is sent to bring him back, quietly, with no diplomatic waves created. Unfortunately there is more to this than meets the eye, and the detective finds himself in deeper waters that he knows...
Interesting fish out of water drama, that is aided by great casting and a few well placed lines.

shellshock Rock (1979)

2012-01-08T09:15:00.001Z

"It'll all change eventually."
A rudimentary documentary that captures the fun and frenzy of the vibrant punk scene in late 70's Northern Ireland, featuring some fabulous live footage of Stiff Little Fingers, The Undertones, and forgotten groups such as Protex, Rudi and The Moondogs amongst others.

the body snatcher (1945)

2012-01-06T11:14:00.001Z

"It's like Burke and Hare all over again."
1930's Edinburgh and a poor medical student Donald Fettes (Russell Wade) becomes an assistant to Dr MacFarlane (Henry Daniell), and slowly becomes aware where the good Dr gets his bodies from for his disection classes: friendly cabman John Gray (Boris Karloff).
A fine horror, which also features Bela Lugosi as a creepy servant within the Dr's household.

the leopard man (1943)

2012-01-06T11:13:00.003Z

"This is a bad town for blondes."
A publicity stunt goes wrong when nightclub performer Kiki Walker (Jean Brooks) takes a leopard into a nightclub; a rival scares the animal and it bolts. Over the next few days the leopard is blamed for a number of killings, but Kiki comes to believe that it's not the leopard that is perpetrating the maulings...
Tourneur turns in a dark thriller bringing some of his Cat People style to another feline story.

king solomon's mines (1950)

2012-01-06T11:12:00.002Z

"...in the end one small pattern emerges from it all, the only certainty: one is born, one lives for a time then one dies, that is all..."
Elizabeth Curtis (Deborah Kerr) wants to find her explorer husband and engages Allan Quartermain (Stewart Granger) to lead an expedition into the uncharted African bush in the attempt. Along the way their prickly relationship develops as they get closer to finding the fabled diamond mines of King Solomon.
A classic version of the adventuring tale.

mongol (2007)

2012-01-05T12:45:00.001Z

aka Mongol: The Rise of Genghis Khan.
"I forgive you, brother."
A dramatisation of the early life and rise to power of Temudjin (Tadanobu Asano), a man who was to unite the Mongol tribes and go on to conquer half the known world, becoming forever known as Genghis Khan.
An epic story played out impressively against the Mongolian plains, though I could do without Bodrov's ficticious additions to the Khan's biography.

thor (2011)

2012-01-05T12:39:00.004Z

"Whatever I have done to deserve this, I am truly sorry."
Thor (Chris Hemsworth) is bannished from Asgard by Odin (Anthony Hopkins), due to some trickery by Loki (Tom Hiddleston), and his own stubborn and warlike ways. Odin plans for Thor to learn some humility and be less warlike, but doesn't account for Loki's treachery and desire to be king. Now powerless on earth Thor is taken in by Jane (Natalie Portman), who is handily a physicist studying wormholes. Can she help him to regain entry to Asgard and save his father?
Branagh delivers a wham bam story, full of betrayal, hunks knocking lumps out of each other, and a brunette to die for.

the curse of the cat people (1944)

2012-01-04T14:52:00.002Z

"I wish for a friend."
A lonely young girl, Amy (Ann Carter), has two friends, an imaginary one in ghost of her father's dead first wife Irena (Simone Simon), and Julia Farren (Julia Dean), a reclusive actress. She builds a fantasy world around them, but her father doesn't like her associating with Irena.
A beautifully realised psychological drama.

the cat (1992)

2012-01-03T21:40:00.003Z

aka Wai Si Li zhi Lao Mao. Lao mao. Wisely's Old Cat. The 1000 Years Cat.
"Evil is coming to pass in this city."
An alien is wandering the city making mincemeat of the local population. Then a cat teams up with a girl and and an old man in an attempt to defeat it.
Entertaining, though mainly for the badly animated cat fights.

those glory glory days (1983)

2012-01-03T16:38:00.002Z

"the only thing left was to get the tickets."
Four thirteen year old school girls in 1961 form a bond over their love of Spurs during their double season. But their joy is tempered with their anxiety at how to get some cup final tickets?
A small but nicely put together package.

detour (1945)

2012-01-03T16:37:00.002Z

"I saw at once he was dead."
Al Roberts (Tom Neal) is hitch-hiking to L.A. when he's picked up by Charles Haskell (Edmund MacDonald). Unfortunately nearing the California state line Haskell dies; Roberts panics, dumping the body, and taking the car. Then he falls further into his nightmares when he picks up Vera (Ann Savage), who quickly reveals that she knows that Al doesn't own the car and is determined to chisel as much out of Roberts as she can.
A cheap thriller that becomes a taut and claustrophobic two hander, with an enthusiastically evil female character. Classic noir in other words.

george and mildred (1980)

2012-01-03T16:35:00.002Z

"Sometimes when you have to do someone, you have to do them yourself."
George (Brian Murphy) gets mistaken for a hitman in this routine farce based on the tv series. It features all the tv cast, and some other familiar faces from ITV tv comedy of the time, in an episode which looks like it was made in 1974 rather than 1980.

the demon (1981)

2011-12-23T15:16:00.002Z

aka Midnight Caller. Night Demon.
"Did your extrasensory perception prepare you for this?"
A girl is kidnapped from her parents home, and a man killed after picking up a hitchhiker. How are these events linked? The parents bring in psychic Bill Carson (Cameron Mitchell) to find their daughter, but he doesn't forsee the events he is about to get involved in.
A story that goes nowhere and is infuriatingly unexplained.

carry on follow that camel (1967)

2011-12-22T18:20:00.002Z

"The behaviour of the white infidels is like blood coming from a stone. Bleedin' mystery."
A bogus legionaire proves his mettle during an arab attack.
Bo West (Jim Dale) joins the Foreign Legion to clear his reputation, but there is trouble brewing with the locals, amd unknown to Bo, his fiance (Angela Douglas) has followed him in disguise...
One of the few Carry On's that breaks with tradition, using a known American star, in this case Phil Silvers as the star of the show, possibly showing the producers felt this was not one of their finest moments. One for the completists.

the secret beyond the door (1947)

2011-12-22T18:12:00.003Z

"...he resents domination...."
An heiress Celia Lamphere (Joan Bennett) marries Mark (Michael Redgrave), a man she hardly knows after a whirlwind romance, and finds to late of his strange obsession.
Thriller that introduces an interesting premise, then loosens its grip through its slow pacing.

scarlet street (1945)

2011-12-22T18:08:00.002Z

"How can a man be so dumb..."
A henpecked older man Chris Cross (Edward G. Robinson) goes to the defence of a beautiful young woman (Joan Bennett) one night, when she is attacked in the street. This chance encounter turns his head and sets him up as a patsy for her boyfriend (Dan Duryea) who believing Chris to be rich sets out to fleece him.
Neglected noir, that features a wonderful performance by Robinson as the repressed gent.

the sleeping tiger (1954)

2011-12-20T11:52:00.003Z

"What do you think of him, Glenda? Is he worth saving?"
A prison psychologist takes in a petty criminal, Frank Clemmons (Dirk Bogarde), so he can study his motivations and treat him. Unfortunately he has a beautiful young wife Glenda (Alexis Smith), who soon falls for Franks rough ways, and thus starts the psychological games-playing between dispassionate psychologist, career criminal and the frustrated wife.
A standard potboiler is lifted byLosey, using the film noir staples of, jazz. crime, and passion, all centred around Bogarde as the young man in turmoil.

eraserhead (1977)

2011-12-20T11:51:00.000Z

"Did you and Mary have sexual intercourse?"
Henry Spencer (Jack Nance) stumbles through his life cowed by his industrial environment, his angry girlfriend (Charlotte Stewart), and the neverending cries of their new born mutated child. The only distraction is the radiator woman (Laurel Near), who appears to him and sings about the happiness of heaven.
The film that established Lynch as a maveric genius loaded down with neuroses and more than willing to pour them out onto the screen.

please murder me (1956)

2011-12-20T11:49:00.001Z

"...in 55 minutes I will be dead..."
A lawyer Craig Carlson (Raymond Burr) falls for his best mates wife Myra (Angela Lansbury), and plucks up the courage to tell his friend. His friend is subsequently shot by Myra. She cries self defence, but is tried for murder. Craig successful defends Myra against the charge, only to then find she actually did it, and has manipulated him all along. Now he's in a dilema knowing her guilty, but also that she can't be tried again for the killing...
An obviously small film, but one that holds the attention due to he intriguing plot twists.

the delavine affair (1954)

2011-12-19T10:35:00.002Z

aka Murder Is News.
"I'll be careful. You be good."
Reporter Rex Banner (Peter Reynolds), gets caught up as a suspect in the murder of acquaintance Gospel Joe. But how was Joe connected to the theft of the Delavine diamonds?
Standard B movie thriller, more notable for its cast, than the story itself, with turns by Gordon Jackson, and Honor Blackman, who would find better vehicles for their talents.

metamorphosis (1990)

2011-12-19T10:33:00.002Z

aka Regenerator.
"He won't die. He won't ever die."
Geneticist Dr. Houseman (Gene LeBrock) is working on a serum to stop human aging. But when his university funding is threatened the doctor administers the serum on himself, with the expected results!
Stilted and unedifying mix of "The Fly" and "Dr.Jekyll and Mr.Hyde", with a twist that by the time it is revealed I'd lost the will to notice...

land of the minotaur (1976)

2011-12-19T10:32:00.002Z

aka The Devil's Men.
"The old customs remain and the ancient gods live on."
A Greek village revives an old Pagan religion, the cult of the Minotaur, and kidnaps a trio of young archaeologists. It's up to Father Roche (Donald Pleasence), Costas Skouras (Kostas Karagiannis), and Laurie Gordon (Luan Peters) to save them from the hands of the evil cult led by Baron Corofax (Peter Cushing).
We've seen this all before, but what makes this work is the acting of Cushing and Pleasance. Still this just balances out to become an OK thriller at best.

war of the robots (1978)

2011-12-18T10:04:00.003Z

aka La guerra dei robot.
"Here this. Enemy formation at ten o'clock."
A civilization facing extinction decides on drastic action and kidnap a couple of famous scientists from Earth. Earth retaliates by sending soldiers to rescue the scientists and defend itself from their robot army.
Another Italian space epic featuring silvery costumes and robots in blond wigs!
Enjoyable in a cheesy unintential way.

star odyssey (1979)

2011-12-18T09:58:00.002Z

aka Space Odyssey. Captive Planet. Sette uomini d'oro nello spazio.
"Great integrated circuits! What's that thing? Look Tilly! A prehistoric cave robot!"
Earth is attacked by an intergalactic villain and his army of blonde haired androids.
Gives a bad name to cheap and nasty! The earth is being threatened by an inter-galactic being...and our response, to try and talk each other to death!

terror house (1972)

2011-12-17T09:32:00.002Z

aka Terror at Red Wolf Inn.
"A butcher's work is never done."
A college student (Linda Gillen) wins a vacation to the quiet Red Wolf Inn, and is soon whisked off, (before she can even tell anyone), to the guest house. There she meets the two other guests, and finds the place is a dream, a beautiful location and wonderful food, but she starts to feel uneasy when one of the guests suddenly vanishes, and why are the owners so reluctant to let anyone into their meat locker.
A delicious little black comedy.

source code (2011)

2011-12-17T09:30:00.004Z

"Out here the clocks only move in one direction."
Colter Stevens (Jake Gyllenhaal) is a soldier who wakes up in the body of an unknown man aboard a Chicago bound train. Though his confusion he discovers he's on a mission to find the bomber about to blow up the train. One of his major problems is that he only has eight minutes to do so, his advantage is everytime he fails, he can be sent back to start again...
Although initially convoluted, this serves to slowly draw you in and grip you.

food of the gods (1976)

2011-12-17T09:28:00.001Z

"That's what your husband brought us out her for?"
Islanders are feeding their livestock a growth suppliment, but unfortunately the wildlife, including the rats have developed a taste for it, and for humans...
An Eco-horror loosely based on a H.G. Wells novel. Whilst Gordon takes it all seriously, once you see the toy rat heads you wont.

colossus the forbin project (1970)

2011-12-15T16:30:00.001Z

aka The Day the World Changed Hands. Colossus. The Forbin Project.
"It has no emotions, knows no fear or hate..."
Dr Forbin (Eric Braeden) develops an artificially intelligent supercomputer to oversee the United States nuclear deterent, but once activated it soon reveals that it is going to follow its own agenda rather than that of its creators.
An overlooked view into a frighening future, where computers realise that they are better placed to make decisions about the human condition that we are...

the mole people (1956)

2011-12-15T16:27:00.002Z

"In archaeology all things are possible."
A party of archaeologists led by Dr. Roger Bentley (John Agar) stumble on a 5000 year old civilization living beneath the earth. To survive they keep humanoid like mole men as their slaves, but can God fearing Americans stand by whilst they witness cruelty being metered out to the Mole men?
Not one of their better creature feature's, but still an entertaining enough flick from Universal.

carry on up the khyber (1968)

2011-12-15T16:24:00.001Z

"Fakir! Off!"
India during the British Raj and the Khazi of Kalabar (Kenneth Williams) wants his country back from the British. All that is stopping him is Sir Sidney Ruff-Diamond (Sid James) and his "skirted-devils", the kilted Third Foot and Mouth regiment.
Featuring all the usual gang, this is one of the better of the long running series, with the jokes coming thick and fast.

7 faces of dr lao (1964)

2011-12-15T16:22:00.003Z

"The whole world is a circus if you know how to look at it."
A small western town dominated by Clint Stark (Arthur O'Connell) gets a visit from the mysterious Dr. Lau (Tony Randall), who changes the town's citizens forever when they view his mysterious circus of mythical beasts.
A pleasant fantasy adventure.